THE UNKNOWN BOND, NULL

There will be another Bond. There always is. What shall it be?

If Bond is a man, judging by the Enneagram numbers we’ve seen, he should be a Four. It’s his turn! Also, if society has room for another Bond at this time, a Four might fit better with the zeitgeist. I don’t think Hollywood is ready for a gay Bond, but if they were, a Four is the perfect choice. The dripping, acerbic wit of a Man Four hasn’t really been deployed yet. The innuendo Moore used was a nicey-nice imitation of the razor humor a Four can bring. Craig was physically brutal. What if the next Bond were emotionally brutal?

And what if, as the chatter goes, Bond is a woman? Hollywood would choose Eight. It’s one of their default Enneagram numbers for superheroes in general, but particularly women. They would never write a Four Bond, thankfully, because she’d be too complex to get right in a two hour action block. I predict that an Eight woman Bond would fail, though. It’s too expected, too rigid, too boring. You can’t just swap sexes into the same old story and succeed.

Imagine, since we’re playing this game, that Woman Bond were a Seven. Women Sevens don’t really lose their head in a crisis. Calm, considered, steady. They’re not Heart Types; emotions are checked and a coldness is your first impression. Physically, they tend to be voluptuous. Be real, this is Bond. Sexy is required. A bombshell with a bland face that hides a calculating mind would make a great spy character.

I don’t really believe that any reboot of Bond will succeed at this time, but the genius of Craig’s Bond surprised me. Stick a pin in this one and come back later.