ONE
It’s the Krusty Krab. Spongebob wipes the tables while Squidward tells him to hurry. They’re closed.
TWO
Dunh-dunh! The telephone rings. Mr. Krabs takes the receiver away from Squidward. Someone wants pizza! Mr. Krabs whirls a platter of Krabby Patties into a pizza, which gets whirled into a box.
THREE
Squidward will deliver, and he must take Spongebob with him. This actually is a Squidward episode. He only wants to go home after work. He’s not trying to avoid Spongebob or annoy him, or any of the usual plot lines. He’s just a dude who’s put in a full day.
FOUR
A boat/car. Is this Squidward’s? No, it can’t be. Is this Krabs’? Everyone knows Spongebob can’t drive, so why is Squid in the passenger seat? He appears to know how to drive, yet he’s not behind the wheel. Since when would he trust Spongebob at this?
Okay, you must have guessed by now that this episode of our beloved Spongebob is a bit . . . fraught with problems.
But let’s accept that the Krusty Krab will make a magical pizza that must then be delivered by a boat/car handled by someone who one episode ago couldn’t drive. Indeed, Spongebob speeds backward, panic-driving in reverse until he’s in the middle of nowhere.
SWITCH?
This may be a Switch. It’s too early in the episode, so probably not. The boat/car runs out of gas and strands our two employees. Or does it? Squidward, frustrated, hits the car and it drives away.
FIVE?
Now our team is on foot, walking to deliver this pizza. An underwater wind storm fights their progress; a rock with moss may show the direction to town (it does, but Squidward refuses to accept Spongebob’s “pioneer” logic).
Throughout this, Spongebob is peppy, singing and dancing.
SWITCH?
And then, he isn’t. The team droops. Their heads steam with exhaustion. This is a definite change, but it’s so late in the story.
FIVE?
The pizza is shiny, and then a large rock becomes motive and drives them right to the customer’s house.
Uh, wut?
The customer fish asks for his drink, which they don’t have. Angry, the fish throws the pizza and Spongebob breaks down in a puddle of tears.
SIX
Squidward, in a moment of genuine sympathy, asks Spongebob if he’s okay.
Told you this was a Squiddie episode. Since when is Squidward moved by Spongebob’s disappointment? They are an actual team, formed at the Three, and they have each other’s back.
SEVEN
Squid decides to approach the customer house.
EIGHT
Knocking, he tells the customer that the pizza is “on the house”. He then smashes it into the customer’s face. Returning to Spongebob, he says that the customer ate the pizza in one bite.
NINE
They drive the rock back to the Krusty Krab. Squidward realizes he’s at work, the one place he wanted to leave at the beginning of the episode. In this regard, Squid gets the Nine he always gets. Even though he was more of a friend, someone who owned the Eight, he’s still thwarted or punished in the end.
So, I’m quite curious: do serious Spongebob fans like this episode? I barely remember it, which certainly is a statement. I would argue (of course I would) that the muddled Enneagram at the Switch reduces the fun of this episode. Where is the midpoint? What changes at the Switch? Why (the eternal question) is Squidward nice?
Interesting, naturally. Even the best, the most beloved, and the tightest crafted show can fail once and a while.