Establishing shot of the Krusty Krab. Inside, Squidward reads a rehearsed greeting and prepares to take the customer fish’s order. The fish’s indecision annoys Squid. (Of course it does lol!)
TWO
The Krabby Patty order is finally passed back to the kitchen where Spongebob waits.
THREE
We see a medium shot of Spongebob building the “Crying Johnny” (with extra onions). Each ingredient and layer is shown like a tutorial.
FOUR
Cooked, the order is passed back through the window for Squidward to deliver. And the line stretches on . . . We definitely get the sense of a busy day in the fast food business.
A large fish approaches the register. His order is complex, loaded with the kind of slang Spongebob has been using. Squidward, naturally, is annoyed.
Spongebob has it cooked already and ready to serve. Then he recognizes the orderer: Bubblebass. They square-off while Western movie music plays over. Spongebob has a reputation for cooking, Bubble for picky eating.
He takes his burger and sits, all of the restaurant gathered to watch. He sniffs, he weighs, he squeezes, he shuffles the burger like a deck of cards. He bites. He chews. (Ew, dude.)
How is it? Pretty good, but . . .
Dunh-dunh. You forgot the pickles!! The crowd gasps.
The best there is? You lose. Giggle, snicker.
Wow, is this fish repugnant lol.
Spongebob, distraught, pulls the burger apart looking for the pickles.
Tossing Squidward aside, literally, Bubblebass approaches Mr. Krabs and demands his money back. In miniscule print on the menu are the words: money back guarantee. Mr. K holds out the $2 and refuses to let go until Bubble drags him to the door.
SWITCH
Spongebob is certain he added the pickles, but Mr. K doesn’t care. Get back in the kitchen! The orders are waiting.
FIVE
All of his previous efficiency and confidence are gone. Spongebob can’t make a patty. Mr. K tells him to take the day off. Squidward can cook. (What?! Haha.)
Back at the pineapple house, Spongebob is still confused. He can’t even remember how to go to bed. The entire night passes. He ends up stuffing Gary in the foghorn alarm because he doesn’t know how to turn it off.
Smoke billows from the Krusty Krab. Squidward has managed to charcoal the beef into ash. Customers complain and leave. Mr. Krabs heads to the pineapple house.
Inside is a disordered mess. Spongebob wears his underwear on his head.
We have to get your confidence back, lad.
They sit opposite each other on the ground, like a sensei and pupil. Krabs unrolls a display of Patty ingredients. Take your time. Day passes into night and on into day. They still sit there.
SIX
More days pass. Spongebob, exhausted, yells that he can’t do it. And then he builds a perfect Krabby Patty to show Krabs how he can’t do it.
SEVEN
They return to a smoking Krusty Krab, shadows cast like Western heroes. A scorched Squidward is thrust from the kitchen. Customers gather at the window. The spatula gleams.
EIGHT
In walks Bubblebass.
A through-the-legs shot as he and Spongebob face off. Many Sergio Leone shots — including the eyeball close-up — go here. Spongebob serves him a regular Krabby Patty. Still no pickles! See? All the fish customers, and we ourselves, are disgusted to see what’s on his outstretched tongue as proof. Bubblebass, feeling victorious, laughs. His tongue waggles as he sniggers. Spongebob grabs it, pulls it out, and lifts it. The pickles are stuck to the underside.
Mr. Krabs says, “And there’s the pickles from last time, too.” Hahaha!
Bubblebass dashes out and away.
NINE
Three cheers for Spongebob! He gets a pretty hearty response. And three cheers for Squidward! Nope, just some boos. Heh, what would a Nine be without the inevitable Squid shame?