ONE
The Krusty Krab. Spongebob pesters Squidward, who reads a book while manning the register.
TWO
Today’s the beginning of the judging for Employee of the Month. Squid considers the award a scam. Work harder for no extra money in order to win. He indicates the “wall of shame”, a series of winner’s photos that are all Spongebob. Spongebob gives a genuine statement about pride in your work, and Mr. Krab gives him an arm hug. Then he tells him it’s a tough judgment this month. Squidward’s on the verge of a breakout!
THREE
Elbowing him, Squid says, “I might sneak up on you.” Hardy har.
FOUR
Spongebob imagines Squid’s laughing face inside the waiting empty picture frame and wails. “How can I let the quality of my work slip so much?” Actually, this is a terrible, bullying episode! Stop gaslighting the Sponge.
Spongebob flips burgers on the grill with great concentration. One of the patties won’t flip; it’s stuck. Bursting loose, it’s flipped onto the ceiling. Spongebob screams, runs up to it (defying gravity), and tries to flip it back. Squidward says, “What are you doing?” with his usual disdain. He tries to convince Spongebob that the award is “a bunch of baloney”, but meat keeps attacking him (don’t ask).
Bubble-wipe to Spongebob at the base of the photo wall as he starts to question his belief in the award. The photos go all drill sergeant and take him to task.
Bubble-wipe to the neighborhood at night. Spongebob hides in the seaweed shrubbery outside the pineapple house. With binoculars he see Squidward setting his alarm clock and preparing for bed. He slides in through the porthole and hides in the bedroom. When Squidward returns from brushing his teeth, Spongebob must quickly disguise himself as a pillow (don’t ask). When Squidward readjusts the pillow it giggles. A yellow hand comes from the pillow, trying to reset the clock, and Squid screams in terror. He throws the pillow against the wall, the case retracts, and Spongebob is revealed. “What are you doing here!”
Spongebob smashes the clock. Squidward winds a new clock. Rinse and repeat. (Squidward has a closet loaded with clocks.)
SWITCH
Squid gets so angry that he decides to try to win the award for himself. Heh. Buddy, I’ve been you: The person who pretends their mediocrity is by choice and that at any moment they could put forth the effort to be better if they wanted to.
FIVE
After yelling at each other, raising the stakes, they spend the rest of the night staring out their respective windows, seeing who will jump first. With bloodshot eyeballs they taunt each other. Squid plays a lullaby on his clarinet and Spongebob succumbs to sleep.
Sneaking out his door, Squidward falls into a rectangular pit. Spongebob with shovel peeks around the back of the Easter Island head. He leaves Squid stranded in the hole and goes to bed. However, while he sleeps, Squid uses his six legs to pull himself out of the grave. He nails boards over the pineapple house door.
Heh, okay, here we go. Spongebob saws around the door, which falls on Squid. As Spongebob runs toward work, a cage drops on him and Squid laughs. Spongebob slides between the bars. Squid, walking, is suddenly trapped in a bottle with a ship. Putting a cork in it, Spongebob writes “loser” on the glass and runs on. As he dashes, a lone Krabby Patty rests on the ground. When he stops, it creaks open and a clamp grabs Spongebob’s nose. So long, loser.
On it goes until we see Squidward dragging an entire tall ship across the ocean floor and Spongebob tied to an anchor. (Even the show is saying: Don’t Ask.)
SIX
Squid raises the white flag. Sponge agrees. The battle that tacitly began at the Three is now concluded. Or is it?
SEVEN
Red-eyed, they shake hands. As they smile, their temples throb and their thoughts plot revenge. They let go and sprint.
EIGHT
At the KK, Mr. Krabs, blissfully unaware, opens up. They knock him aside and start maniacally cleaning, destroying the restaurant as they go. They both start cooking and an avalanche of Krabby Patties bury Mr. Krabs, burst the building’s seams, and blow up the entire restaurant. The only thing left standing is the wall of photos.
NINE
Fish arrive and start picking up free Krabby Patties. Mr. K, his head in one of the frames, protests. Squidward and Spongebob join him in the frame, both asking who won employee of the month.