ONE
Gary exercises on a hamster wheel. Spongebob takes him down and plays fetch. Whatever he throws, Spongebob must wait, checking his watch, as Gary the Snail retrieves it. Heh.
When Gary finally returns, waking Spongebob from a nap, he gets chin tickles and eye stalk pets. “I love you, Gary.” Gary climbs all over Spongebob with snail cuddliness.
Patrick bursts through the door. He’s very excited as he wields his jellyfishing net. There’s some kind of convention this weekend, but Spongebob has no one to take care of Gary.
TWO
Cut to Squidward knocking on the pineapple door. He’s here to complain about underwear on his front lawn. Wut? But Spongebob takes this perfect opportunity to ask Squid to watch Gary.
THREE
Haha! Spongebob introduces the snail, which drips slime in closeup, and Squid recoils. Get somebody else.
FOUR
Sadly Spongebob tells Patrick they can’t go away this weekend, and they’ll just have to stay here. Oh, yeah! Squidward hears and walks backward in order to reverse his decision.
First he must be instructed in Snail Care. Spongebob drones on in the background while Squid’s inner voice keeps repeating, “Freedom.” The tour bus arrives and off they go.
Squidward runs home while Gary looks forlornly out the pineapple window.
Bubble-wipe to Squidward setting up his tanning chair in his front yard.
Oh, no! The title card says 3 Days Later. Aargh! Haha — Squid hasn’t moved. He’s brown and steamy, but still smiling. Here comes the tour bus. Squid laments the loss of his aloneness. From the pineapple window Gary’s withered eye stalks look out.
SWITCH
Ahhh, there it is. Squidward sees, remembers, and goes immediately back to his pale color. He dashes into the pineapple as the tour bus gets closer. Aw, Gary has cobwebs on him as he collapses.
FIVE
Squid carries Gary to the kitchen and pours all the canned food into the little bowl. Eat! Panicked, he tosses food at Gary’s face area.
Meanwhile, Spongebob and Patrick out front say goodbye. They wear souvenir jellyfish hats. The key gets closer and closer to the door lock as Gary lies wasted on the floor and Squidward looks at the mountain of uneaten food. Don’t do it, buddy! Ack! Oh, hahaha! Squidward, his head misshapen and overlarge, comes from the kitchen. With a mighty effort he swallows.
Spongebob, grateful for his good friend Squidward, waves goodbye to him as the desiccated Gary comes through the doorway. SCREAM! Lol.
Nighttime, and a boat with a white snail shape and a red cross on it parks out front of the pineapple. Inside, the doctor hands Spongebob a shot to administer and leaves. He’s as squeamish as the doctor, though. Squid must do it. As he protests, Gary lets out a pitiful cough.
Spongebob moves Gary about as Squidward aims the needle. Heh — it ends up in Spongebob’s nose. What will happen, he asks.
SIX
Gary wiggles over to his water bowl and becomes instantly better after a drink and a gargle. It takes a second for us to realize that Gary probably needed no one to mind him. He’s just messing with us from the Three beat onward.
SEVEN
Squidward, disgusted by it all, goes home. You’ll be fine.
EIGHT
Spongebob dumps a can of food in Gary’s bowl. Before he can deliver it, though, he eats it all. Then he meows. And then he begins to move slower and slower. And grows eye stalks. And his square pants begin to curl and lift into a semi-shell position.
Squidward prepares for bed. Doorbell. When Squid answers we see his shocked face before we see Snail Spongebob on the ground outside. Screaming, Squidward goes inside and slams the door. Spongebob meows at the window and comes in. The Easter Island head starts shaking from how much running Squidward does to avoid Snail-bob. The head-house twirls and crashes sideways. Inside, Squid climbs from the wreckage, the needle now stuck in his nose.
NINE
The moon. Sitting on a fence and meow-singing “Blow the Man Down” are Gary, Snail-bob, and Squid Snail. An angry Patrick rises from his rock house and throws a boot at the snails, hitting Squidward. The two snails on the fence continue singing, and the refrain is answered by an unseen Squid who’s been knocked to the ground.