ONE
A close-up of Spongebob’s shoes as he tiptoes backward. Pivot! He’s in a karate stance. He backs up into his pineapple house. Startled, he karate chops it.
TWO
When he goes inside and starts to relax, a strange noise surprises him. Ooh, his face gets devilish and he sneaks forward.
THREE
His shoes make a squeaking sound. Nope, he’s stepping on toy ducks that quack. He kicks them aside!
FOUR
Ah, he approaches his couch and says, “I know you’re back there, Sandy.” They’re playing a game. A gotcha game. He leaps behind the couch, but nobody’s there. His eyes poke through the couch cushions and look around the other side. Nothing.
“I guess the coast is clear.” He relaxes and starts up the TV.
Insert the TV show, which is some kind of comedic goldfish, maybe? Lol, I dunno, but Spongebob thinks it’s funny. He jumps up, excited. “I love this show!” On the couch suddenly is Sandy. “Me, too.” Aaaargh! Spongebob goes into a ready stance and Sandy, wearing large foam mitts, attacks. They exchange karate moves. With kiai!
“I’m gonna get you tomorrow, Spongebob!” So, this is a daily game they play.
Night at the treedome. Sandy in jamms reads peacefully when the phone rings. Spongebob’s foam hand comes through the receiver and chops at her. Sandy bends his arm back through the ear piece and chops him.
Bubble-wipe to the Barg’n-Mart, a treasure chest-shaped building. Spongebob surprise-attacks Sandy while she’s shopping, knocking her into a can display.
Bubble-wipe to Spongebob walking along the road. A small can pile blocks his path. Suspecting, Spongebob gears up. Out comes Sandy. They battle. She grabs his tongue and opens a bottle of hot sauce, preparing to pour it on. The droplet has a face that taunts Spongebob. He fake concedes, and antics occur.
SWITCH
Bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab doing a booming business. Squidward takes orders, but in the kitchen Spongebob strikes a constant ready pose and doesn’t cook.
FIVE
After being chastised, Spongebob rushes out with a platter of fresh Krabby Patties. Hallucinating, Spongebob karate chops an innocent fish customer. Now Mr. Krabs sees what’s going on. Make money, get back to work.
Later, after closing, they clean up the KK. Spongebob, on bathroom detail, cautiously kicks open the stall doors. Instead of Sandy he catches Mr. Krabs. “No more, or you’re fired.” (Yikes. Mr. K with the big daddy threats.)
As Spongebob walks home, glum, Sandy attacks. “I have to give up karate.” Yeah, sure. Although Spongebob doesn’t engage, Krabs sees Sandy going chop-happy all over him. Out he comes, frowning. “You’re fired.” (He did it! Wow.)
SIX
Spongebob’s face sucks into his sponge head, and then explodes back outwards in tears.
SEVEN
Sandy tries to explain to Krabs, and it works. He gives Spongebob a second chance.
That game was getting old, anyway, Sandy says. What will they do instead? So far, the ideas are terrible.
They go to the park.
EIGHT
The two of them, like a couple of addicts, see the karate lure in everything. They take turns chopping a sausage. Okay, they go completely insane with lunch. When Spongebob reaches for a sandwich to eat, Sandy gives in to the temptation and chops his arm. Off they go. The three-palm island shakes.
Here comes Krabs. With a parasol. (Man, I want that action figure.) The park is destroyed. Of course, part of the mess are piles of perfectly prepared patties. Spongebob admits he can’t quit, and says, “You’ll have to fire me.” Krabs, picking up some burgers, scoffs. “I’ve got something else in mind.”
NINE
Cut to the KK with a line out the door. Spongebob and Sandy cook together, showing off their chopping skills and serving sandwiches. Krabs is happy. Squidward is morose. End.
This has always been a fun episode. (And a useful tutorial about the warning signs of addiction, kids!) Structurally, though, it’s a bit wonky. The beats are mushy, and the Three/Six is notional only. Those ducks, man, they scream Three, but they make absolutely no sense. Spongebob’s dissolving face at the Six also says, “Mirror me!” It doesn’t, though, except that both beats are impressionistic rather than practical. The Five is brief, although “Krabs’ finances are affected” seems to be the marker for it. But the Eight and Nine are wonderful. It’s hard not to love a Sandy episode.