I’m afraid I’m a little harsh at the end of this Enneagram breakdown, lol. Look out.
ONE
Nighttime, with separate twin beds.
TWO
Vision wears an eye mask and Wanda startles awake when a bump is heard. Laugh track. The bedside lamp flicks on and off as Wanda worries. Vision wakes.
Are you using your power to turn on the lights, dear, he asks. Yes. He rises, turns on the light manually, and looks out the window. Nothing. Are you using your night vision, Vision? A bump startles him and he dives into bed. Another bump and Wanda scoots the beds together.
On each side their slippers, which had been tucked under the edge of their beds, are left behind. Cute detail.
For some reason Vision is afraid to investigate the noise. Wanda, determined, slides the curtain wide open, showing a stormy tree branch outside. They relax. Also, Wanda flicks a finger and changes the side-by-side twins into a king-sized bed. As retro commentary it’s a bit obvious, but okay. They eye each other — wink — and duck under the covers.
THREE
From a cartoon moon come an animated Wanda and Vision, flying. Credit sequence, obviously, and a clear reference to Bewitched. It’s a shame the last episode used too many motifs from that show to make a clear distinction, but here we are. (How do you reference The Honeymooners or I Love Lucy, shows without a magical character like Wanda, and hit the same vibe?) It’s an adorable sequence, with cartoon Vision twinkling through walls and Wanda magically grocery shopping. Vision’s inability to eat or drink is referenced, and as Vision drives home through the cartoon neighborhood all the people are in their yards bopping and singing along, sort of smiling and sort of robotic.
FOUR
Now real time Vision, in tails and top hat, practices a magician routine in the living room. Wanda is his assistant, wheeling out a humongous cabinet. When Vision wonders if it’s too much, Wanda reiterates that the neighbors are being just as dramatic. After he makes her “disappear” in the cabinet, she pops around the false back and smiles. Isn’t this too obvious, Vision asks. In a real magic act everything’s fake, Wanda says.
This is a fundraiser in which everyone participates. Wanda, becoming serious, says, “I want us to fit in.” Close-up on Olsen, indicating this moment might actually mean something. After, Vision is off to the Neighborhood Watch meeting and Wanda’s headed to a planning committee.
Later, Wanda comes from the kitchen in a house layout that’s exactly like Bewitched’s, lol. Again another bump noise. (And it’s not going to be Aunt Agatha landing awkwardly in the fireplace, sadly.) Wanda looks around outside, and stops. In the rose bushes, all black and white, a red toy helicopter rests. She lifts it, and we get a long beat of her contemplating it. On its belly is the SWORD logo we saw at the end of last episode. Agnes arrives, though, and startles her out of the moment.
She hasn’t noticed the toy. Instead, Agnes lifts a large cage with a pet rabbit in it. For the magic act. Senor Scratchy loves the stage. Wanda takes the animal inside. Still at the gate, Agnes says hello to the mailman. They josh around until Wanda returns, and the women head arm-in-arm down the sidewalk. They discuss Dottie, kind of the town big wig. Agnes advises Wanda to get in good with Dottie. It’s a power play moment, like many small town plotlines. Dottie and a bunch of women carrying casserole dishes exit her house, and Agnes greets them and waves.
At a public pool, possibly a country club, the women sit at a table under a canopy. (Petty woman-sniping goes here. I won’t detail this social trope. The only moment of note is when Geraldine, a woman who’s nice to Wanda, introduces herself.)
Vision arrives at the library for his meeting. Men sit around a table. One of them — Vision’s coworker, Norm — says the meeting is members only. Ignoring all that, Vision sits down and jumps right in. Clearly he’s worried about neighborhood security after last night’s bumping noise. The men eat danish and gossip. (Okay, lol.) Vision’s seriousness comes off to the group as humor, and they welcome him. Offered a stick of gum, Vision starts chewing. When he’s given a friendly smack on the back, the gum goes the wrong way. Cut to an animation drawing of Vision’s insides as the wad of gum goes down his throat and wedges in his gears.
Back at the country club Wanda carries a tray of dirty dishes. We get an insert of a clock radio playing music. Dottie, who’s sitting to one side, has chosen Wanda to help her clean up today. (Gee, thanks.) Wanda wonders if they’ve got off on the wrong foot. Dottie, rising, says she’s heard things about Wanda and Vision. Close-up on Wanda as she says she doesn’t mean anyone any harm. Dottie says, “I don’t believe you.” Push in on Wanda, upset. She glances down at the radio. It’s calling her name amidst the music. Dottie, aggravated, says, “Who are you?” The radio explodes and the glass in Dottie’s hand shatters. The cut on her palm bleeds a garish red. Wanda dashes for a napkin and wraps it around Dottie’s hand. Her response? “How did the housewife get the blood stain out of white linen? By doing it herself.” Laugh track.
I don’t get it.
SWITCH
Commercial break. A man in a tux smoothes his lapels in front of a mirror. A woman in a gown and black dress with gloves comes from behind and brushes his jacket, allowing the camera to go close. It’s a watch commercial, a Strucker on his wrist. (Sorry, “Strücker”, but they don’t pronounce the umlaut.) Push in on the watch face. It says “Hydra” and has the many-headed symbol. I didn’t see any color in this ad. As the watch image fades, the sound of ticking increases. Insistence, I guess, and that same sense of urgency as the episode one commercial with its blinking light. Is this a message — Hydra is manipulating Wanda! — or is it just an Easter egg?
FIVE
The town square. The Talent Show takes place in the gazebo, laugh track and all. Backstage (behind a makeshift curtain) Geraldine with a clipboard presents herself as the stage manager. Wanda in her skimpy assistant’s costume frets: Where’s Vision. And here he comes, wobbling like a drunk, in top hat and tails. As he stumbles and slurs, the animation of his insides shows his gummed up works. He seems happy and unaware anything’s wrong. Wanda immediately wants to tell him about the strange thing that happened with Dottie. All concerns stop because it’s their turn on stage.
They’re the final act. Dottie introduces them, intoning the theme of the show with the audience: “For the Children”. Out comes Wanda, nervous, and she gives the flourish for Vision, but he’s not there. Geraldine prompts him and out he comes, still behaving like a drunk. He insults the audience, then levitates. Wanda, watching the audience’s reaction, magically creates a rope to explain Vision’s trick. Now they’re happy. Saying “feats of strength,” Vision lifts the piano. Again, the crowd is worried. Twinkle, and Wanda steps in, showing the piano is a cutout. The audience relaxes and laughs. A failed card trick, the rabbit dashing across stage — more mess. Thwarted, Vision decides to pull the hat out of himself. He passes it magically through his midsection. Wanda must open the curtains and show a panel of mirrors to explain this one. Applause and cheers, even from Dottie. The final trick is the cabinet. He forgets to put Wanda in before announcing she’s disappeared. Since she stands right there, the audience takes to chanting: “What’s in the box?”
It’s Geraldine, who looks surprised to be stepping out of the cabinet. The three onstage take a bow while the crowd claps and gasps. Backstage, Wanda asks what’s going on with Vision.
SIX
Using her magical powers, she looks at his innards. Here’s the animation again, as the gears slow to nothing. And then the gum (with a smiley face, lol) travels back up the throat and into Vision’s mouth.
SEVEN
They try to sneak away, before they’re blamed for ruining the show. (Since Wanda wears a sparkly bathing suit, it doesn’t work.) Spotting them, Dottie starts as if she’s going to chastise them, but it ends up as praise. She gives them a trophy: the inaugural Comedy Performance of the Year. Cheering. Standing ovation. They call Geraldine to join them. How’d you do it, she asks. A magician never tells.
EIGHT
Back home in regular clothes (and Vision with his metal head), they still revel in their success. As they sit on the couch, relaxed, they say, “It was all For The Children.” Smiling, Wanda rises to make some popcorn and Vision stops her. She has a belly bump. They’re both surprised and tender. “Is this really happening?” A noise from outside breaks the moment, and Vision steps out front. Nighttime, with nothing to see.
Then, the manhole cover down the street moves. They both stare at it. A hand. Vision looks worried, maybe even scared. A man climbs out of the hole. We hear the noise, then the camera is close enough we can see he has bees around him, buzzing. He has some kind of coveralls and a beekeepers hat. When he turns to look at them, Wanda firmly says, “No,” and the screen rewinds, like an old video tape. The scene goes back to when they looked at her pregnancy. “Is this really happening?” They kiss and the studio audience coos. When they pull back, Vision’s metal head is in color. As Wanda pivots around, the whole room twinkles and becomes color, them last of all.
NINE
They smile and kiss again as the end credit frame surrounds their faces. “The End” in twinkle letters is written over their faces, while a voice begins. “Wanda, who’s doing this to you?” The voice continues as the screen goes to black. We get a “please stand by” image, and then the real credits begin.
CRITICAL NOTES
I really disagree with the structure of this episode. There’s a lot to unpack, and I am unhappy about most of it, lol.
First, the good: In “real” life, Wanda and Vision have been cheated of a married, years-long life. One purpose of the sitcom reality Wanda’s created is to fulfill some of that dream. Children, and the way sitcoms accelerate their maturation, is part of that. This they achieve in this episode. Box ticked.
However, a box that doesn’t tick is the unease in the neighborhood. The mean girl clique woman, Dottie, is too cliche. Really, Wanda wouldn’t fit in? Nope, not believing that. If Dottie is to represent the entire town and their enslavement, she fails. She has too much social power for that role. Wanda has taken away the free will of hundreds of people. She’s the villain here, and this episode needs to start hinting at that. Dottie makes us feel sorry for Wanda, when it should be the other way around.
Also, the first episode had Vision asking questions. He’s only an echo of the real Vision, a figment of Wanda’s magical imagination. It’s right that he would discover this about himself. When he asks at work — What do we do here? — he begins that process. Every episode needs to have Vision question something. Box not ticked this time.
However, here’s the money problem:
The obvious Three/Six are the color elements. Helicopter at the Three, Beekeeper at the Six. This is not how the episode is structured, but this is what the story wanted. The similarity of the elements, their intrusion into the world’s reality, their progression from inanimate to human. These two beats beg to be the mirror and they’re not. If the beekeeper were the Six, the videotape rewind, a brilliant decision moment, would be the Seven. The showrunners added the beekeeper to the pregnancy reveal, though, weighing down the Eight. Nail the Three/Six and all the clunkiness of the Four might find a focus, and hopefully we begin to see who Wanda actually is to this town.
With a solid Three/Six backbone the Two and Eight would function better, too. The Trouble, hilariously, is sex. Beds together and an under-the-cover dive lead to the baby bump at the Eight. It’s really great, and it’s the one place we could find sympathy for Wanda. Her loss is real and her grief is a constant hidden pain. The Eight gets muddled with that misplaced Six beekeeper moment, though. Olsen shows herself to be a top-notch actor in this series. I wish they’d given her a complex beat to play here at the end instead of trying to force that emotion onto the beekeeper scene.
It’s funny. Are the old shows really as boring and unwatchable as this talent show plot? Vision swallowing his gum is no more ridiculous than the Ricardo’s antics. Why is one silly story good and the other a dud? All I can suggest is tighten that Enneagram, in this episode and in the overarching series, and let characters make honest fools of themselves. Nobody could embarrass herself like Lucy.