Although this episode is unbearably painful now, I remember it fondly. It’s actually a 1960’s scifi presentation of what we’ve come to call gaming, a virtual world designed for amusement.
ONE
The Enterprise orbits a beautiful green and blue planet.
Spock crosses the bridge to bring the camera in on Kirk in his chair. A pretty woman, probably a yeoman, stands nearby. When Kirk complains of a back kink, the woman massages it. Raising an eyebrow, Spock steps away and Kirk realizes who’s rubbing him. (Hey! Where’s our Basket Head?)
TWO
This awkward bit allows Spock to comment that everyone — except him, of course — is badly in need of rest. Kirk rubs his eyes and leaves the bridge, asking for McCoy’s report to be sent to his quarters.
Cut to a lovely woods scene. (It’s Southern California, lol, but it looks fairly green.) McCoy and Sulu, smiling, stroll next to some pampas grass. They are part of a scouting party, ready to approve this planet for shore leave. It’s like something out of Alice in Wonderland, McCoy says. Sulu wanders off to gather biological samples. When McCoy turns away, he faces a large white rabbit. It speaks its lines, checking its watch, and — hahaha! — trots away, some poor human in a fuzzy, oversized suit. And now here comes a girl in blue, chasing after it.
THREE
McCoy doubletakes and yells for Sulu. Cartoon music plays over. Seeing nothing, Sulu holds McCoy’s shoulder. “What is it, doc?” he says as the camera pushes in on Bones’ disbelieving face.
Roll credits.
FOUR
Captain’s log. He can’t remember the stardate at first. While the yeoman talks silently at him, he details the beautiful, green wonders of the uninhabited planet below. He finally hears her say that he’s not listed on any of the shore parties. Apparently, he isn’t taking leave, even though he’s obviously exhausted and overworked.
Starboard section is now beaming down. Spock, entering the Captain’s quarters, says he won’t go down. Running around on green grass, he scoffs, is not restful. McCoy comms up. He tells of what he saw, the rabbit, in such a way that Kirk laughs, thinking it’s a joke. A made-up mystery to entice him, he tells Spock. In response, Spock reads a report of a certain crew member whose stats are poor. Kirk falls for it, insisting that this crewman must go ashore on captain’s orders. Of course, it’s him. While Spock in voiceover tells of the relaxation and beauty of the planet, we see the pond and greenery, and then a little hatch disguised as a rock lifts to reveal a revolver underneath.
Cut to a science team examining the plants. Beaming down are Kirk and the not-Janice Yeoman. They all speak of how beautiful and restful it is here. (Is this the show’s first true exterior shoot? Lol, they want their money’s worth.)
They find McCoy, who shows them large rabbit footprints on the pathway’s dirt. Taking it seriously, Kirk puts a hold on the shore leave. No one else is to beam down. Their discussion is interrupted by a gunshot. Drawing his phaser, Kirk dashes toward the sound. (Whoa! A tracking shot while the three of them run! They really did go all out.)
Sulu is taking target practice with the revolver. He found it, and he’s always wanted one. Kirk takes it away, and the yeoman notices more rabbit tracks. (Ah, Barrows. They finally gave her a name.)
Kirk and McCoy return to “the glade” for another look. As they walk away, an antenna raises up in the foreground. (Lol, it’s attached to the front of the dolly rig, following them.) Laughing with each other, Kirk tells Bones an anecdote about his time at the academy. A trickster bully named Finnigan picked on him. Then they split: McCoy will follow the rabbit tracks and Kirk will find where the girl’s prints came from.
Leaning against a tree in Kirk’s path is a smiling man in a Starfleet uniform. “Jim!” (Oh, groan, he has a Lucky Charms brogue.) “Finnigan?” Laughing, the dude punches Kirk in the jaw. They start to wrestle, but a woman’s scream in the distance sends Kirk sprinting off. (Ooh, another tracking shot with running! Shatner’s a regular Tom Cruise in this episode.) Finnigan, still laughing, stays put.
Joined by McCoy, Kirk comes upon Barrow on the ground near a tree. Her uniform is ripped away at the shoulder. A man with a cloak and a jeweled dagger attacked her. “Sounds like Don Juan,” says McCoy. Yes, says Barrow. That’s what she was daydreaming as she walked about. (Ugh, honey. Everyone’s imagining is juvenile, but this is really bad.) Sulu gave chase, and Kirk follows after. Scary music as the antenna again tracks Kirk.
After he runs for a while, the music softens. He finds a flowering plant, picks a bloom, and smiles. When he looks up, there she is. It’s a woman in a flowing robe (and a very 1960s wig). “Ruth?” She approaches him — “Jim, darling” — and caresses his cheek.
Cut to commercial.
Hard close-up on Kirk as he uses his communicator to call for McCoy. No answer. Flowery music plays as he turns to Ruth. It’s been 15 years and you haven’t aged. How is that possible? Comms interrupts them. As he talks, Kirk stares at Ruth like a drugged man. More strange reports, and Kirk reluctantly agrees to meet in the glade.
Spock comms down from the ship as Kirk still stares after Ruth. The planet has a sophisticated power field that’s draining ship’s energy. (That finally brings Kirk into focus. Enterprise is, after all, his true love.)
Cut to the antenna rotating about while Bones checks on Barrows. Oh, dear. She speculates that a place this green and beautiful needs a woman dressed like a fairy tale princess. Oh-ho! Bones chats her up! She’d have a whole army of Don Juans to fight off. Romantic look, hand presses, and shy smiles. Then, startled, (why, at this point?) she sees medieval garb hanging in a tree. Haha, Bones starts to look worried, then just shrugs. He encourages her to put the dress on. She’s concerned about the mystery of it all, but she acquiesces.
While Barrows steps behind a fern to change, McCoy gets a comm. Rodriguez tells him captain has ordered a rendezvous, but static overrides the discussion and comms fails.
Cut to Rodriguez holding on tight to the other scientist while a tiger tracks them. (It’s the tragic fiancee from a previous episode. Kind of weird.)
Back to Barrows, revealing herself in the pointy veiled hat and gown. Oh, yeah, Bones likes it.
Orbit-wipe to Spock on the bridge. Kirk comms from the planet. He wants answers, and proceeds to list all the weird things that have happened. Comms are very weak, but Kirk says there hasn’t been any danger yet.
Cut to Sulu walking over a sand hatch that opens, and a samurai jumps out and attacks him with a sword. Sulu holds a phaser, but he only dodges the swings.
SWITCH
Back to Kirk trying to comm McCoy. Sulu dashes up with a warning, “There’s a samurai after me!” (Lol. Pretty good.) Nothing follows him, though. Ah, phasers aren’t working. Kirk verifies. They’d better get back to the glade, he says. Beaming sounds, though, and they see an outline of Spock. He can’t materialize for a while, then he arrives. Communicators and transporter are now useless. He was the last, and now they’re stranded. The energy field on the planet is draining their power.
FIVE
Over to McCoy and fairy Barrows as they stroll the pond path. They’re at the rendezvous point. Setting her against a tree, Bones investigates. He heard a sound, but no problems. Not with a brave knight to protect her.
Cut to Spock as a snarling noise is heard. It’s the tiger. Kirk disperses the three men to find it.
Now we’re with McCoy. A jousting knight in full plate armor rides into the glade. Worried, Barrows grabs his arm, but Bones declares that hallucinations can’t harm him. They can’t be real. Kirk and Spock come upon the scene as McCoy stands still in front of the knight’s charge. Close on Bones’ face as he’s pierced. Barrows screams and Spock draws his phaser. It won’t work, but Kirk still has the revolver. He shoots the knight from its horse. They all dash to McCoy, and Barrows, crying, says, “He’s dead.”
Cut to commercial.
Back to the scene, McCoy dead on the ground. Captain’s log says all communications are lost and they’re trapped on the surface. Barrows, blaming herself, cries hysterically (Kirk almost slaps her, I swear. Instead, he gives her a stern talking.) At the knight’s body, Sulu calls them all over. The faceplate on the helm is open, revealing a human-like robot face. Spock runs the tricorder over it: It has the same basic cell structure as the plants. Everything here, Spock says, has been manufactured. Over, the sound of a wind chime tinkles throughout, suggesting, I assume, an otherworldly influence.
They’re interrupted by a plane overhead. It’s a Zero. Rodriguez the scientist has just been mentioning them to Angela. As it makes a strafing run, they dash. Oh. Angela’s shot and dead.
While Kirk and crew have been looking up at the plane, McCoy and the knight have vanished. O-ho! Spock’s down here and on the case now! He asks Kirk what his thoughts were before the visions occurred. As Kirk talks about the academy, that Finnigan dude appears again. Kirk chases after him. Spock calls, “Wait!” Nope. (Wow, this episode is dated. Our cynicism levels are much higher nowadays? Certainly with storytelling. Spock knows the answer, but we must pursue the human emotional trajectory anyway.)
Haha! They just wanted another tracking shot of Kirk running.
Wow. They’re on location, by God, and every dollar is going onscreen. Shatner runs well — in boots, no less — I’ll say that.
When he finally catches Finnigan, the stunt doubles wrestle in the dirt. Constant wind chimes, which is well done. And Shatner isn’t horrible at the stunt work they let him do.
Kirk ends up unconscious. Cut to commercial.
When he wakes, ( . . . I see you managed to rip your shirt . . . ) he demands answers from Finnigan and gets a faceful of dust as a reply. (My God, they fight even more.) After besting him, Kirk again questions Finnigan. “I’m being exactly what you expect me to be, Jimmy boy.” (Jimmeh Boi.) Now the music slides into a “Cockles and Mussels, Alive, Alive-O” riff. (Kill me.)
SIX
Hahaha! Spock’s here. “Did you enjoy it, Captain?” he asks as Kirk stands over Finnigan. Yes, Kirk says. After all these years . . .
SEVEN
Ah, he pauses. “I did enjoy it.”
EIGHT
Spock nods knowingly. Something, he says, reads their thoughts and quickly manufactures the item. Haha! As Spock explains about Rodriguez and the tiger, all scientific-y, the tiger appears behind him. (Aw, you can see its little chain and collar.) The tiger and the Zero chase them as they return to the landing party. Oh! Haha! The samurai, too!
Cut to Barrows, back in uniform. She returns her dress to the tree. Behind her appears Don Juan to grab her arm. Arriving, Kirk calls them all together, and Don Juan runs away. They stand at attention, thinking of nothing, as commanded. And then, from the bushes, an older man in a robe steps forward. He’s “The Caretaker”. We’ve only just discovered you don’t understand, he says. We intended to amuse you.
Haha! Spock smirks as the Caretaker explains you can imagine anything you want to happen. None of it is permanent. “An amusement park,” Spock says.
NINE
Oh, no!! Oh, hahaha! Oh, lol. Kirk says, all serious, “That doesn’t explain the death of my ship’s surgeon.” And here’s McCoy, smiling, with two women — in what? feathery midriff-baring squares? — holding his arms. Oh, my God, what are they wearing? And there’s the burlesque music. Barrows, frowning, steps forward.
After a few more cringey bits, Uhura comms in to say power’s back. Commence shore leave, Kirk answers. Spock, who’s had enough, volunteers to go back to the ship. Kirk’s about to relieve him, when Ruth steps out of the glade.
One last shot of the Enterprise in orbit. On the bridge is Spock, with Uhura behind at comms. Here comes the shore leave, returning to duty. They’re rested and laughing, which Mr. Spock finds illogical.
CRITICAL NOTES
It occurs to me that Janice was left out of this episode because of her basket head. I doubt it films well in natural light, and it certainly would bounce about strangely while running. Barrows’ storyline is silly, and I wouldn’t wish it on Janice, but I regret they didn’t keep her in. Can’t she have an “away team” hairdo? There’s a certain “any woman will do” quality to the writing that I dislike. And Uhura is much too sensible to roll in on this plot, thankfully. So Yeoman Barrows joins us for one episode. Ah, I see they also wanted someone for Bones to romance. Kirk has Ruth: no room for poor Janice.
For a Three and a Six we get comedic faces. Really, I’ve only marked them as such because the beats surrounding them are more defined. It’s a disaster structurally. The Two must be the crew’s fatigue combined with the planet’s illusions. The reveal of the planet as an amusement park, and a solution to the need for shore leave, is the Eight. These are the basic beats. I really wish the Three and Six were visually stimulating mirrors. In this episode it should’ve been easy!
I’ve chosen Spock’s arrival as the Switch, although it comes late in the episode. The commercial breaks determine the pacing more than an unconscious Enneagram structure does. We get little builds, then a pause, and a restart on another little build. It’s an exhausting method to me. I run out of patience quickly, waiting for the story to move forward with some energy. It feels very dated. A lot of programming nowadays doesn’t use commercials, so the structure is much more organic. This old-school style is now irrelevant.
One thing about this episode: the exterior shots were hilarious. It really felt like the cast and crew had fun shooting in a different environment from their studio set. And that Bones reveal at the end must be seen to be believed. Even for the era, those women and their outfits defy words.