On my first watch, this is the episode that started lowering my opinion of Wandavision. Watching it again, I dislike it even more. Let’s see if its structure is partly responsible.
(Again, I don’t recognize the homage of this episode. I’m just not up-to-date on certain eras of television programs!)
ONE
Light music as Wanda sleeps in bed. She reaches over to Vision’s empty side. Now she talks to the camera while sitting in a chair and wearing a robe. It’s like an interview and/or like therapy. She’s in bed again (still) when the boys come to her and say their game is freaking out. We see them using controllers, which change to joysticks, and then to a deck of cards. Completely under the covers, Wanda says she’s resting her eyes. Back to her interview, she decides to have a day to herself.
When she pushes back the bedcovers, she reveals her Halloween costume. Noticing she’s still in yesterday’s clothes, she cringes. In the kitchen, now in her robe, she takes an almond milk from the fridge and Sugar Snaps from the cupboard. The milk changes to a carton of whole, and then to a glass bottle of milk. Eating her cereal, she stares at it.
Interviewing, Wanda says she’s not sure why things keep changing. Credits for this show begin, with “Wanda” written on everything. The music is boppy and upbeat. It ends with all the “Wanda” titles finally joined by a “Vision”.
An overlay identifies “SWORD temporary retreat eight miles outside Westview.” Director Hayward and another officer speak. The broadcast signal is gone, they say. We don’t know SWORD’s plans, but whatever it is launches today. Behind them is a very large Hex wall.
TWO
Cut to Vision, still in costume, lying on the grass. This is the last place we saw him. Waking, he is surrounded by the circus. “You the new clown?” the strong man asks. Chained to the front of a truck is Darcy. You don’t remember me from last night, Vision asks her. She breaks free (fake chains) and walks away from him, thinking him a creep trying to hit on her.
Wanda asks the kids, “Have you seen your dad?” One of the twins mentions Pietro’s comment about rekilling Vision. He’s not your uncle, replies Wanda. Throughout is a sarcastic tone with clever patter. (It’s obnoxious, actually.) I have no answers, Wanda shrugs. She settles herself on the couch and takes the remote from the boys.
THREE
In comes Agnes, who quickly assesses the mood and offers to take the boys. Wanda is very grateful. “Let’s go, I won’t bite,” Agnes says.
FOUR
While Wanda,on the couch eats her cereal, the living room decor keeps changing, getting more retro. The TV becomes an old tube model, the wallpaper and furniture become an earlier style. Lighting up the red hands, Wands brings the room back to modern day. “I’m fine.”
Cut to Monica and Woo in the SWORD humvee. As she drives, he accesses Darcy’s last email about the Cataract mission. Hayward had plans to bring back Vision before Wanda stole the body. They arrive at another military encampment, set up at Monica’s request. This unit has a large truck-thing for Monica to use. (In Die Hard style, I will call it The RV.)
Back to the circus. Clowns everywhere perform tricks while Vision chases after Darcy. She wants nothing to do with him until he touches her head and reawakens her memories. They drive away in the funnel cake truck. It’s played as very silly.
Wanda continues to eat her ever-crispy cereal. Again the decor goes through a tornado of changes, even including the stork making a blip appearance. She talks to the camera: “I don’t understand.” The voice of the interviewer, unidentified, says, “Is this what you deserve?” Surprised, Wanda says, “You’re not supposed to talk.”
SWITCH
Cut to commercial. A woman on a park bench is depressed. Clouds threaten and swirl. The drug “Nexus” will take you back to reality. Side effects include feeling your feelings. “Because the world doesn’t revolve around you. Or does it?”
FIVE
The boys are at Agnes’ house, petting her bunny, Senor Scratchy. I like it here, says Billy. It’s quiet. You’re quiet, on the inside. Agnes makes a face at the camera.
In an astronaut suit, Monica climbs into the RV. Godspeed, says Woo, as if she’s going to Mars, or something. The start-up sequence for the RV is like an Apollo launch. Heading toward the Hex, Monica speeds up. Boom, it bounces back, then drives up the wall and flips. While Monica, who’s jumped out, recovers, the RV goes halfway into the Hex before getting ejected. The front end of it is now a minivan. Monica won’t be stopped, though. She pushes into the wall, separating into different versions of herself. Her irises go blue, and she’s through to the other side. In the town, she sees everything as patterns of energy, then it all returns to normal. She takes off running down the street.
The funnel cake truck is stuck at a red light on a deserted intersection. Darcy brings Vision up to speed on his real-life history, including his death. In a director’s chair, he speaks to the camera, saying that Wanda is throwing up impediments to stop him from coming home. After the light turns green, a utility truck immediately blocks the road. “I’m not amused,” Vision says.
It’s a sunny day in the neighborhood as Monica enters the house. “Get out,” Wanda says, firing up her red hands. She throws her out, the neighbors stopping to stare. Monica’s eyes go blue. “Do it. Take me out. Hayward is going to burn Westview to the ground to get what he wants. Don’t let him make you the villain.” Wanda, pained, answers, “Maybe I already am.”
SIX
As Monica continues — I’m not afraid of you, I can’t undo my pain, my truth — Agnes watches out her window and comes over. “Run along.” She puts an arm around Wanda and leads her away. “You have to take it down!” Monica calls after. “Don’t make me hurt you,” Wanda says over her shoulder. The neighborhood resumes its business.
SEVEN
Back to the funnel truck, still waiting. As the utility vehicle drives away, a school crossing guard flags the road, and children file through the intersection. In the director’s chair, Vision says, “I can’t remember what happened.” Then he takes off his lapel mic, stands into the boom, and — cut to the truck — flies away, leaving Darcy still sitting there.
EIGHT
Agnes, comforting Wanda, takes her into her house and offers her tea. Sitting on the couch, Wanda sees half-eaten sandwiches and a kids’ program on the TV. “Where are the twins?” Playing in the basement, Agnes calls out. Wanda goes to the door and looks down the stairs to an unfinished basement. As she goes down, it immediately becomes mysterious, stretching out like a haunted house with vines, pillars, and mist. In a trophy case is a glowing book.
And here comes Agnes. You didn’t think you were the only magical girl in town, did you? Flourish, and she reveals herself as Agatha Harkness. “Lovely to meet you,” Agatha smirks. Her eyes go purple, groovy music starts, and the song “Agatha All Along” plays. We see past episodes from her POV as she manipulates events. Pietro’s arrival, her encounter with Vision on the outskirts of town, the interviewer behind the camera — it was all her machination. Holding the blanket-wrapped dog, she says, “I killed Sparky, too,” and gives a witchy laugh.
NINE
Please Stand By, and the credits roll. But wait, they’re interrupted by Monica approaching the house and looking through the window. Walking around, she spies the basement doors and opens them. A purple glow infuses the steps down. Startling her is Pietro. “Snoopers gonna snoop,” he says. Her eyes go blue, and we’re done.
CRITICAL NOTES
Okay, this is a very strange structure. Let’s start at the end.
The show has its first post-credits sequence because it needed a Nine. I like that choice, although if you click through the credits, you’ll miss a key beat.
The reveal of Agatha, including the lead-up through the basement, is the Eight. It’s a good Eight, but it’s completely unconnected to the earlier structure. It’s nowhere in the Two. This right here is probably the reason I disliked this episode. The comic-book fans were waiting for this. They knew Agatha was a character, and Agnes has been kind of suspicious throughout the season, so this reveal was exciting. For the rest of us, who know none of this backstory, the reveal is completely surprising. The episode itself doesn’t establish clues, the season doesn’t establish that Agnes is any weirder than any other Westview resident. She’s been cast as the Second Banana throughout; why would she suddenly be an uber-machinating witch? It just feels like it comes from left field, and I have a hard time concentrating on the playfulness and charm while I am still reeling.
The Seven is, again, excellent as a Seven but completely unanchored from the rest of the story beats. Yes, let’s have Vision engage. It’s about time! But the Seven usually leads to some consequence in the Eight. Nope, nothing. It’s a beat that will carry forward to another episode, having no impact in this episode. Structurally, this is confusing. More reeling.
Before this Seven is the Six, and it mirrors beautifully with the Three. Agnes exerts her influence. Lovely! But the Three is so late, so delayed. It doesn’t really jump the story forward in this placement. (The One and its wink-wink framing goes on too long and is overly busy. And why in the world is Hayward in there? Don’t place beats that have no purpose in this episode!)
And the Two is Vision! He’s the Trouble, which again reinforces how confusing his position is in the story. He should be the Eight. Wow, oh wow, would I rework this episode. Changes here would lead to changes in the rest of the season, but I think it’s necessary. I strongly object to this order. The end of the show went off the rails for me, and this right here is the reason why. Agatha should not have been this episode’s Eight. Whatever Vision is up to (and I don’t remember what exactly he’s going to do) needed to move here. Agatha’s reveal should’ve been the Nine, leading into an episode of her very own (which is next, I think). Monica, actually, should’ve had less of a role here. I know they’re setting up her character for future projects, and it shows. This was not her episode, and she consumes valuable time that belonged to other characters. A Trouble moment at the Two involving Vision, especially a beat reinforced by Vision at the Seven making a climactic decision, must resolve with Vision at the Eight. Surprising us with an unrelated beat, the Agatha reveal, with no supporting beats leads to confusion and dissatisfaction. It’s a “gotcha” maneuver, which just makes me angry at the show.