If ever anyone was an Eight, right? She says whatever she likes, which could just be the privilege of age, but it does seem like it’s part of her character. Although she’s proper, she’s also not overly surprised or horrified by sexual impropriety. Edith’s pregnancy, Mary’s affair — she rolls with it.
We’ll have to take a look at Isobel Crawley, because the friendship between these two, unlikely women is fascinating. Also, I didn’t intend to dig into Spratt and Denker, the Dowager’s household staff, but her complacency with them, with their arguments and petty grievances, seems Eight-ish. Eights aren’t driven by social niceties. The staff can tussle in the dirt for all the Dowager cares, as long as they do their jobs properly when asked and don’t bother her with the details.
When the Dowager must give up her crown of Winner of the Village Flower Show (whatever it’s called, lol) to Molesley’s father, she eventually becomes very gracious about it. It’s hard to lose — that would be her Eight leadership — but when she realizes what’s fair and just, she lets go of any resentment or anger. This is also Eight-like. Move on emotionally when an issue has been settled.
She is a matriarch, and not just by birth. Releasing authority to Cora is very difficult for her. If Cora weren’t truly competent and deserving, Violet wouldn’t step back. Very Eight. As for Isobel, the distance between a Four (which I’ll get to next time) and an an Eight on the Enneagram wheel is a few steps removed. It explains why they took so long to find a camaraderie.