ONE
Establish the Emerald Rose Saloon in the late 1800s American west. Two middle-aged sisters own and run the place that their parents, now deceased, built. The elder, Izzy, is a more steady presence. The younger, Luisa, is more restless.
TWO
A mysterious wagon, coming into town at the head of a monsoon, crashes in front of the Saloon. Driver and horses are crushed. Only the cargo, a large box, remains intact. Emerald Rose customer Leon notices a handbill attached to the wood. He shows it to Luisa: a reward for return of the box to its owner in Fort Defiance.
THREE
Luisa agrees to upend her life and accompany (and finance) Leon’s trip. In order to smooth her decision with Izzy, Luisa plays their family song, “Desert Lullaby.” Moved, Izzy relents. She’ll travel with her sister.
FOUR
Izzy gives the Saloon’s deed to her bar manager, Ruiz. She says goodbye to her parents’ graves located behind the building. She, Luisa, and Leon set out on a buckboard that tows the box wagon. Immediately Izzy is introduced to a young Quechan man riding shotgun, Francisco. Another man recently released from prison, Coop, joins them. We get to know the team and its dynamics.
At a stop, Leon is bit twice by a rattlesnake and dies. The team, less one person, decides to press onward. Luisa is not ready to give up on the trip. Francisco and Coop have their own reasons for not wanting to return. Izzy, who would rather go home, remembers that Ruiz has the deed. She is outvoted and agrees to continue.
She wakes the next morning in the tent she shares with her sister to find Luisa scalped and dead. Screaming and dashing out, she’s caught by the murderer, Matt Lemon. He knows Francisco, who used to be part of his crew in previous times and now regrets his actions. Coop is furious. Matt has what he came for — a scalp that earns him money — and rides away. The crew digs another grave.
The team, now only three, adjusts its understanding of each other. They have one mountain pass to cross before reaching the Defiance River, which will take them to their destination. However, Coop is too anxious to get going. He won’t check the wagon’s hitch. At the height of the steep road, the mules swerve, the hitch breaks, and the buckboard goes over the edge, smashing below. Coop is lost. The box, undamaged, rolls to a rest on the road. Now only two people remain.
Francisco builds a travois for the box and the last horse. Izzy shoots and cleans a dove. They bed down for the night, Izzy under the wagon and Francisco on top where he can see the stars.
In the morning Izzy is awakened by three Cocopah elders. They’ve killed Francisco as retribution for his time riding with Matt Lemon. They wish Izzy well, but refuse to help her drive the box to its owner in Fort Defiance, George Young. Izzy is alone on the road.
SWITCH
Distracted, Izzy lets the horse pull the box onto a fork that leads into the dunes. The horse slides in the sand, the box overtakes it, and Izzy jumps free before the crash. The wagon is smashed and the horse dead. In shock, Izzy wanders away from the wreck and takes the road leading in the other direction towards the river’s dock. Memories of her childhood haunt her.
FIVE
At the river, a bedraggled and thirsty Izzy lets herself fall into the water. A military wife comes to Izzy’s assistance, wrapping her in a shawl and leading her onto a barge headed downriver. It docks at the Defiance Territorial Prison, much to Izzy’s worry. However, she’s only being delivered to the warden’s wife, Dora Ingalls, who helps all women in distress. Izzy is treated to a bath and fresh clothes.
Dora, who’s proud of her work at the prison, takes Izzy on a tour. As they pass through the cell block, an unseen figure watches them from a bunk: Matt Lemon. He overhears Izzy’s plan to contact George Young about his box. Recognizing his chance, Lemon initiates a break out. While defending the prison gate, Dora misses Lemon sneaking up behind Izzy and grabbing her. He escapes with Izzy, threatening her. He wants part of the box’s reward.
He takes her to Young’s property, a horse ranch on the edge of town. Locked in a room by Lemon, Izzy is discovered by Young’s cheerful right-hand man, Charlie. He invites her to dine with him and “Captain” Young. Interrupting supper, Lemon informs Young that Izzy knows where his box is. Young plans an immediate trip to recover it while ordering Charlie to get Lemon out of his sight. Izzy tries to warn them about Lemon, whom Charlie already detests. However, the Captain finds him useful at times.
In the morning, Young, Charlie, and Izzy set off upriver. At the site of the crash, the box has tipped on its side but is otherwise intact. Surprisingly, Young doesn’t care; he only wants what’s inside. Out of loyalty to all her friends who died while bringing this cargo across the desert, Izzy insists on watching the box opening. Even though Charlie tries to discourage her, she won’t leave. Young agrees to show her what’s in the box.
(And this is where I’ll end the plot description. The rest of the story shall remain a mystery in order to entice you to read the book. Let me assure you, though, that the Six involves another playing of the “Desert Lullaby” song, and the Seven is a memory of Luisa that propels Izzy into the Eight.)
CRITICAL NOTES
Haha. I have no disinterested perspective on my own story, so I can’t offer criticism. However, besides pitching my book, I also want to showcase the Story Enneagram system. I used the framework throughout my writing and considered posting a copy of my extensive notes. They’re too chaotic, I think, for anyone but me to understand, so I’ll refrain from sharing them. Even this overview, though, has been helpful in discerning where a last rewrite needs to be refined. If you can’t summarize your story, you need to review your own plot.
The screenplay has dialogue, obviously, and character details. None of that belongs in a two page treatment. Hopefully, the plot highlights are lively enough to get people to read. Honestly, as the author I am proud of this piece, but that doesn’t mean I’m right, lol. I know this story is finished, though, and that means it goes out into the world. Finally. Good luck, baby.