ONE
The Krusty Krab. Business is at a lull. Spongebob and Mr. Krabs wait.
TWO
Squidward reads something called “Dance Now”, looking at pictures of human ballet dancers. A cutout of his head replaces the man’s head and Squid sighs.
THREE
A dust mote falls to the reflective table surface. Spongebob attacks it with cleaner. His obsession with tidiness is a perfect, defined beat.
FOUR
Mr. Krabs smiles woodenly next to an empty salad bar. Wind swirls through the open front door. If a free salad bar won’t bring in customer, what will?
One poor fish customer comes in and is overwhelmed by the special treatment. He only wanted change for a dollar!
The team meets in Mr. Krabs’ office to discuss ideas for bringing in customers. Spongebob lays out some really bad suggestions while Squidward continues to read his dance brochure. Mr. Krabs says something about a floor show and Squidward comes alive. A talent show! His rectangular pupils become stars. For some reason he pitches Pearl as the winner, and Krabs loves it. (Plus, the money potential, of course.)
Bubble-dissolve to the KK with a stage.
SWITCH
Spongebob wants to know when he’ll go on. Squidward, wearing glasses and holding a clipboard, asks what talent he has. Taking out a bubble wand, Spongebob blows a hippo partner in top hat and cane, and the two of them do a charming soft shoe. Squid yawns. The people want culture.
FIVE
Bubble-dissolve to night as spotlights revolve and guests arrive at the KK.
A full house! Mr. Krabs in a tuxedo! Spongebob’s Mom and Dad!
Backstage Squidward organizes the talent. Spongebob suggests another act: Mr. Absorbency. Nope. Spongebob takes to begging. I’ll do anything!
Okay, you can mop up afterwards.
Squid goes onstage to polite applause. The show is beginning. His introduction includes very lame jokes that only get a laugh from Patrick.
The first act is Pearl. Mr. Krabs gets teary-eyed.
Hahaha, oh dear. Pearl does a cheer routine. When she jumps all the fish in the audience flip into the air. Oh, is that good.
In between, Spongebob drops down, asking Squidward which kind of mopping is better.
And now, poetry by Gary. Again, very funny. Gary only meows, and Sandy in the audience sighs, moved.
Another cleaning question from Spongebob, and it’s on to the Amazing Plankton who tries to make a Krabby Patty disappear (out the door with him). Boo!
SIX
(There is no Six.) This is a tricky beat. Spongebob’s cleaning is the obvious choice, and he’s set up for it with the mop situation. However, if you save his desire to mop, all his questions that pop up at intervals in the Five, you miss the set-up for him at the Eight. I would have chosen a specific mirror, like wielding the spray bottle, to mark the beat.
SEVEN
This show is a disaster! Don’t worry, Mr. Krabs, I’ve saved the best for last.
EIGHT
Rut-roh. Balloon drop. Neon lights. A set-piece background. Yes, Squidward is going to dance. Haha! Fish run to the free salad bar to grab tomatoes to throw. Haha! Krabs starts charging a dollar per tomato and they pay.
Chased from the stage, Squidward fumes. Sure, Spongebob can go on now and mop.
The audience loves it.
NINE
Krabs makes money, Spongebob has fun, and Squidward is desolate.