Critical Notes, as always, are at the end.
ONE
Spongebob walks out his front door, arms loaded with hearts, and announces …
TWO
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Bikini Bottom!” (Candy boxes shaped like hearts, I think.)
THREE
He skips, tossing the hearts like flower petals. And he never runs out!
FOUR
Heart-wipe to Squidward on his lawn chaise. Spongebob prances in and hands him a heart. Squid rips it into pieces. So, not a candy box. Probably just a card. Handmade. With love.
Heart-wipe to Mrs. Puff driving her boat/car. Aw, poor thing, she looks so content. Spongebob dashes alongside and hands her a heart. Yup, she crashes.
Heart-wipe to Plankton (Yay!) trudging along, looking at the ground. Oh, my! Spongebob has a leetle heart that he delivers with tweezers. Either Plankton is touched, or he’s ashamed, lol. I can’t tell.
Heart-wipe as Spongebob prances to the tree dome. Sandy waits outside with a heart-shaped acorn skewered by an arrow. “I’m nuts for you.” (Groan.) Spongebob pulls out a jar of chocolate bubble syrup and blows her a heart. A small trap door opens on her helmet and the heart floats into her mouth. “Mighty tasty.”
They transition to a giant heart-shaped chocolate air balloon with a basket attached for Patrick. Aw, it’s a got a pink, smiley starfish on it. Sandy wants to go through the plan again. Here it is: Oh, lol. Spongebob blows a chocolate diorama to explain. Spongebob and Patrick will be on the ferris wheel at the fair. Sandy will arrive in the air balloon. Step 4: Patrick is thrilled.
SWITCH
At his house Patrick wears a small T-shirt with a heart on it. He smashes rocks together until one of them forms a heart shape. Up comes Spongebob. His voice from behind Patrick . . . oh, no, it’s too silly. Patrick, not seeing Spongebob, thinks the rock is talking and smashes it. Happy Valentine’s Day! This rock rubble is your present.
FIVE
Spongebob’s present for Patrick is a surprise. Now Patrick begs to know . . . for a long time. It’s not the carnival. It’s not the quarter. It’s not the cotton candy.
While Patrick chases after the cotton candy vendor, Spongebob talks with Sandy by walkie-talkie. Not yet, Sandy.
Meanwhile, Sandy, floating near the carnival sees a flock of scallops dive right for her.
Patrick continues to guess. Sandy, on top of the chocolate balloon, wields a bull whip to keep the scallops away. Take him up the ferris wheel and I’ll meet you there. Hiya!
At the top, Spongebob sweats. No sign of the balloon. Sandy calls in as the balloon, punctured, starts to go down. Still waiting, Patrick can’t contain himself. He rips off his shirt and starts to rock the car so hard that the entire ferris wheel jumps. Spongebob offers a friendly handshake as the gift. Oh, Patrick’s face. He’s a pretty good sport, though.
In the Buddy Bounce castle Patrick, still holding his hand up, barely moves. His frowny face says it all. Same on the roller coaster and in the fun house. Afterward on a bench, Patrick says, It’s the thought that counts. He’s content, until a random fish approaches and thanks Spongebob for the box of chocolates. Patrick begins again when another fish thanks Spongebob for the roses. And another one for the bike.
SIX
Patrick loses it and rampages. In primitive mode he destroys all hearts while carnival customers run and scream.
SEVEN
“You broke my heart,” Patrick says to Spongebob. Now I’ll break something of yours.
EIGHT
As Patrick looks inconsolable and violent, Sandy emerges behind him. She rides the chocolate balloon, scallops tethered in front and pulling. She lands behind Patrick on the pier but he won’t turn around, disbelieving. He refuses to turn around until Sandy says hello. Forgetting, he immediately turns around to greet her. There it is, the giant heart.
He’s so excited. He grabs onto the balloon and says, “Is this solid chocolate?”
NINE
No!!! Chomp. Explode. Chocolate everywhere. But Patrick’s happy.
CRITICAL NOTES
That One, Two, Three! That’s a lot of beats to nock. Once Spongebob starts handing out hearts, though, we’re in the Four business. It’s unconventional to flood a single, early scene with three beats. Part of my confusion is that I didn’t expect “It’s Valentine’s Day” to be the Trouble, lol. I thought I was still watching introductory, One business. Spongebob moves fast!
I’ll give them credit because, surprisingly, the Three/Six works. An abundance of hearts, given freely at the Three, and a destruction of hearts, removed violently at the Six. Also, the Five is very consistently about Patrick’s teamwork. And I kind of like the simple pathos of the Seven. It’s Patrick, so we’re safe, but it’s one beat of darkness that’s immediately reversed at the Eight. It hits. Well done. I can’t watch it again, though. Lol, it’s too sad. No one wants to watch our inner child get its heart broken.