I could nitpick that the Three and Six don’t perfectly mirror, but I won’t. Just enjoy.
ONE
Bubble-wipe from the three-palm island to the pineapple house under the ocean.
TWO
Nope, lol. Spongebob’s hand, pretending to be him, comes from behind the house, which is actually a sand castle. Heh, then Patrick’s hand comes from a sand rock to visit. The two of them hand-hop over to Sandy’s place.
THREE
Except it’s not a tree dome. It’s a sand mountain. She karate chops the top off, revealing a sand relief of Texas. “What’s a Texas?” Spongebob asks. Then a wave crashes over them and washes Texas away. Sandy sighs.
FOUR
Looking sad, Sandy leaves. Spongebob tries to stop her with some karate action, but she ignores it. Thinking it’s a trick, Spongebob expects her to secretly attack him. On she goes, though.
She doesn’t want to surf or jelly fish, either. Spongebob releases the jelly he has in his net, shooing it, and telling it to go on home, to family and friends. Sandy’s eyes well up. “Hurry, before they forget you and leave you behind,” Spongebob cheerfully says. Sandy wails, tears filling the inside of her helmet.
SWITCH
When Spongebob asks her what’s up, she admits she’s feeling homesick.
FIVE
Thinking, Spongebob blindfolds Sandy and leads her “home”. It’s the tree dome.
She cries, runs inside, and lowers a metal shell over her house. As Spongebob and Patrick walk away, Sandy rises out of a hole in the top of the dome. A cowboy hat perches on her helmet, and she tunes a guitar.
While she sings, “The ocean’s no place for a squirrel,” scenes superimpose behind her. Bull riding, cattle, a horse in a pasture — cartoon notes come from her mouth and travel through the ocean. Eventually the music staff catches up to Spongebob (and tangles around Patrick, lol).
Now a stuffed squirrel wearing a hat barbeques at a picnic table. It faces the camera and sheds a lone tear. Cut to Spongebob and Patrick crying. Mr. Krabs, counting money in the Krusty Krab, hears the song and breaks down. Fish customers cry and blot their tears with Krabby Patties.
As the song ends, Sandy lowers back through the hole in her dome.
SIX
Patrick and Spongebob, still crying, are moved by Sandy’s singing “from her heart”. Like a doofus, Patrick says, “Let’s go get some Texas and bring it down here.” Spongebob begins to scoff, then says, “That’s it! Patrick, your genius is showing.”
SEVEN
They prepare a surprise at the KK, then go for Sandy.
EIGHT
The tree dome is still covered in its metal shell. At the door they meet Sandy on her way out, luggage in hand. Spongebob panics, sputtering, as she walks in the opposite direction from the KK. He tries to persuade her to come say goodbye, but she refuses. “It would be too sad.” Up drives the bus, and away she goes.
As they stand in the road, Patrick says, “What’s so great about dumb old Texas?”
Vrreeep! The bus is back and Sandy, frowning, stands in the doorway. Don’t you dare say anything bad about Texas!
Catching on quickly, the two of them start to riff derogatory names about Texas.
Sandy’s eyeballs go red. She drops her bags and squares off.
Giggling, Spongebob and Patrick run so that she’ll follow them to the KK. Over their shoulder, they laughingly keep insulting Texas. Cut to a shot of Sandy, arms pumping, as she comes after them at top speed.
Aaaargh! The boys start running in earnest. Sandy, right on their heels, swings a lasso.
There goes Patrick, caught and yanked. Behind the horizon, the ground explodes in a mushroom cloud. Hahaha! Spongebob squeals and picks up the pace.
Sweating and scared, Spongebob gets closer to the KK. He won’t give up. Sandy, chasing, forms her lasso into a square with legs.
As Spongebob is roped and pulled, he holds onto the front door and rips it off, revealing all the friends waiting inside the KK. Surprise! They’ve recreated Texas (in all the wrong ways) just for her. Laughing, Sandy is charmed.
NINE
Surrounded by our crew and some random smiling fish heads, she realizes that home is where your friends are. She’s staying.
CRITICAL NOTES
One of the best Spongebobs, without a doubt. Sandy’s song is a Hank Williams-style country folk tune with yodeling. I had forgotten. In my mind, it’s always Texas, written as an homage to this specific episode. I listened to it again before posting this, and it’s as moving as I remembered.