Author: KA Byrnes

What Are Little Girls Made Of

As always, Critical Notes are at the end.

ONE

Approaching a planet. On the bridge, Nurse Chapel stands next to the captain’s chair and waits. She’s worried about a man on the planet who hasn’t sent a message in five years. Spock gives Kirk (and us) a report on the surface temperature (it’s cold) and on Roger Korby, the “Pasteur of Archaeological Medicine”. Whatever that means! Uhura can get no communication contact.

And then a signal and a voice comes over comms. Haha, the camera swoops around and racks focus on the little speaker for Uhura’s console. It’s Korby. Another swoop and we go extreme closeup for Christine Chapel’s relief to hear his voice.

Dunh-dunh! Roll credits.

Captain’s log repeats what we know. Prepare for a landing party. As Kirk starts to inform Korby that Chapel is with him, Korby interrupts. Can you beam down alone? Spock rises and approaches the chair. Clearly, this is an odd request. He asks if Chapel is certain she recognizes his voice. Oh, she’s engaged to Korby! So, yes, she’s certain.

TWO

Kirk agrees, and says two will beam down. Chapel says hello, and Korby immediately recognizes her voice. They’re on their way. Oh, look! Uhura rises and gives Chapel a cheek kiss of congratulations. That was sweet. Did she ad lib that?

THREE

(There is no Three.)

Continue reading “What Are Little Girls Made Of”

BO PEEP, EIGHT

This Bo acts plastic when she’s actually porcelain, and it drives me crazy, lol. In the first movie, the quality of her skin rendering is so lovely. In Toy Story 4, they’ve lost that translucent quality. And don’t get me started about how she throws herself about, even breaking an arm, as if she isn’t basically made of glass.

Before this, Bo doesn’t show enough character to read an Enneagram on her. Now that she’s living free we can figure her out.

She’s very physical, like an action hero doll. (Which is so wrong!) Brave, daring, hard-charging, she’s probably a Body Type, and most likely an Eight. Hollywood has a hard time writing any other number for strong women. She’s got her sheep and her little friend, McGiggles. (Oops, McDimples.) She knows everyone about the neighborhood, but they’re not in her core circle. This is definitely more Body than Head or Heart.

Really, there’s not much else to Bo. She’s a run-of-the-mill Woman Eight, the easiest trope to hit. Her porcelain delicacy is ignored. Her creation as a lamp ornament is disdained. Her inherent feminine fragility is tossed aside with her skirt. She’s just a badass who drives around in an RC skunk, subverting every one of our expectations and giving us nothing interesting in their stead.

Sorry, lol. I strongly disagree with these choices made for Bo. What kills me is that she had so much potential to be one of the great characters if the showrunners had embraced all the things that made her unique.

Episode 2

Critical Notes are at the end, after the Enneagram Story and Breakdown.

ONE

A bicycle messenger arrives at Downton. April, 1917. In Robert’s room his new valet arranges his uniform. The message is for William. Carson is still overworking and Hughes is still taking him to task over it.

Robert’s man seems timid, speaking softly, and Robert snaps at him. Ah, he’s named Lang. Robert apologizes. Lang was invalided out of the military. Trench warfare. Oh, Lang feels people look at him and wonder why he’s not serving. Must be an unobvious injury.

TWO

Patmore reads something that upsets her, but we pass on. William’s excited: he’s been called up. He asks Daisy for a picture to take with him. Lol, Daisy doesn’t seem to know what to make of that.

Cora asks O’Brien about Thomas. Oh, haha! These two are fabulous. Cora will talk to the doctor about bringing Thomas home. O’Brien is so humbly grateful, the conniver. I know it’s terrible to see Cora so manipulated by someone she trusts, but, really, their relationship is wonderful.

THREE

The trenches and Matthew. It’s always the same overhead shot, the same set, but it’s evocative. Matthew, walking the line with another, drops the exposition that he’s being transferred back to England to help the war effort.

Continue reading “Episode 2”

SUDS

ONE

Nighttime in the neighborhood. (Why is Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker playing over the credits?)

Spongebob sleeps. A bubble forms above his head and we see his dream. It rains Krabby Patties. He runs around with his mouth open, happily eating.

TWO

When he wakes he’s chewing on his pillow. He needs a quick midnight snack. Gary, on a newspaper next to the bed, sleeps. Quietly, Spongebob goes into the kitchen and makes a sea-nut butter sandwich. He takes one bite and crashes onto the counter, asleep. The open refrigerator door starts to waft a cold, ghostly vibe.

THREE

Still nighttime outside the pineapple house. Dissolve to day, and now the house is iced and frozen. Ah, here comes the Nutcracker music again.

Continue reading “SUDS”

CLARA CLAYTON, SEVEN

She has less of a role than some of the other repeat characters, but Clara makes an impact. We know Doc well; any woman he would love needs to impress us.

In order to match with Doc, she has to be a science nerd, and she is. It goes beyond a love of Jules Verne, though. Her telescope has an entire backstory, and she has a lifelong relationship with science. Well done.

She’s obviously brave. A lone woman schoolteacher sets off into the Wild West, arriving by train in a town where she knows no one. It’s easy to forget how risky such a move would be back then.

A practical woman who dares to adventure? Seven. It’s her clinical reactions that define her Enneagram. Doc breaks her heart, she’s leaving. New information tells her Doc loves her, she’s returning. Doc has a model train set with a piece labeled “time machine”, she believes him. Doc’s off to travel through time, she follows. She just does the next thing in front of her, no matter how unrealistic and ludicrous. That willingness is very Seven.

Episode 1, Part 1

ONE

The Somme, 1916. We’re with Matthew in the middle of war. Grit, explosions, trenches, and wounds. He’s some kind of officer with news that his unit will soon be relieved. He’s got a bit of leave coming, and he’d like to see a certain girl (unnamed). Downton, he says, seems like another world.

Roll credits.

TWO

Establishing shot of the Abbey. Anna leads the new maid through her duties, although the house is in disarray. A banner that says, “Help Our Hospital” hangs in the front room as Carson directs servants to remove the furniture.

William dresses Lord Grantham in his military uniform, but he doesn’t know the proper arrangement of of all the regalia. A bit of exposition as Robert tells William that he’s not back in the army (“they don’t want me”) but is basically in the Home Guard. Why is Bates gone to London? We don’t know yet.

Everything’s all a-bustle, with furniture carried in and out. O’Brien smokes alone in the yard.

Robert asks Carson if we’ve news of Bates. Ah, the funeral was last Monday. (Who died?) 

THREE

Joining Cora and Sybil at breakfast, Robert reads a letter: he’s back in the army proper as a Colonel. 

Continue reading “Episode 1, Part 1”

SLEEPY TIME

ONE

Nighttime in Bikini Bottom. Spongebob takes off his shoes and socks, which come off as one unit. Beside the bed, Gary puts his eyes in the shoes and comes out with socks on his stalks. (Lol — that’s a rhyme I only caught after writing it.) Spongebob pulls up his covers and falls immediately to sleep.

TWO

Cloud thought-bubbles appear. Bikini Bottom is now a kind of chef-land, with Krabby Patty houses and spatula trees. Spongebob body parts assemble, and suddenly he’s dropped into a racing car/boat. A driver’s license, something Spongebob doesn’t have in his real life, pops into existence. While he’s busy admiring it the car drives by itself and goes through a “road ends” sign. Crash.

Ejected, Spongebob sails on, past the Krusty Krab and over a flying Mrs. Puff. Lol, she’s frowny. She rips up his dream driver’s license. Upset, Spongebob crashes through and out of his dream.

THREE

While real Spongebob sleeps, a little Dream Spongebob lands on the bed and looks at himself. Who’s the true Spongebob? While he ponders, a meow from Gary draws his attention. Asleep, Gary has a cloud bubble over his shell. Spongebob pops in.

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BIFF TANNEN, NULL

He’s our villain, or some version of his ancestral line is, throughout the trilogy. It’s only Old Biff in the second movie, the time traveler, who has any brains. Every other version of him is mean or subservient. Does he even have an Enneagram, or is he just a generic antagonist?

Actually, I think that’s our answer. Old Biff has a motivation: I want to change my destiny. He’s the only one who isn’t a cartoon. He has a fatherly patience with his younger self. Obviously he’s pretty smart. In just a few seconds he understands all the ramifications of time travel, as well as the motivations of Marty and Doc. That’s why he warns himself to look out for them in the future. A little too convenient? Do we believe that bully Biff can really become this wiser Biff? But then he leaves the almanac bag and his broken cane handle behind in the car, so how clever is he?

Nope, he’s still just a plot device. No Enneagram.

Mudd’s Women

Oh, no, hahaha! I’m screwed! Lol. Well, maybe this episode won’t be as cringe as I remember. And we can reference Austin Powers and his fembots as an homage. I’m sure I’ll be fine.

ONE

Captain’s Log. The Enterprise pursues an unidentified vessel. Trying to escape, it heads into an asteroid field where its engines overload and fail. Kirk decides to use their deflector screen to protect the other ship, even though Scotty warns him against it. Stand by transporter. Enterprise risks overloading its own engines.

Roll credits.

TWO

Power surge and the bridge goes dark for a second. One of our lithium crystals, Sulu says. Scotty can’t lock on to beam the other crew aboard. Zap — another dark surge. Uhura says, “We’re getting a distress signal.” In the transporter room Scotty, Bones, and Spock energize and watch.

Oh. Dear. Lord. Rakish hat, wide belt, puffy shirt, single earring, and van dyke moustache. Here he comes, transporting in. Cartoon music and a doubletake reaction from the crew. Oh, help. He even speaks with that terrible fake pirate Irish. In no rush, he’s affable while Spock and Scotty want to get on with it.

On the bridge, another lithium circuit zaps out. How many have transported aboard, Scotty? One, but we’ve locked onto three more. The transporter pads blink and surge. Meanwhile, on the bridge we see the vessel explode. Did you get the crew, Scotty?

Pause, and then they materialize. The woman on the left wears a bosom-enhancing dress, the one in the middle pivots away so we can get a booty view, and the one on the right wears only a poncho, legs bare, with gladiator sandals. They each give a little grind-wiggle while Fake Pirate watches the men. Easy there, Bones, lol. Ew, close-up of Miss Booty squinching her eyes at them. The framing does suggest that we should be suspicious, so there’s that.

Continue reading “Mudd’s Women”