FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN, SEVEN

That’s Frankensteen.

In the Young Frankenstein story, Frederick is Victor’s great-grandson. He is the creator, the protagonist — like Victor — but he’s also a separate character with a different Enneagram. Possibly. What do we know?

He’s actually kind. He loves his Monster. (“This is a good boy! This is a mother’s angel!”) Everything frustrating about the original story — why won’t Victor show compassion toward his creation? — is addressed here. Love begets love. This Frankenstein taps into that.

He’s worried about the world’s opinion, at least for a while. Once his curiosity is engaged, he tosses that concern aside. And when he’s in, he’s all in. He solves the problem! Not only does he bring the Monster to life, he integrates him into society.

The castle, Frau Bluecher, Inga — Igor! — all the oddities, are nothing to him. Strange events come at him and he rolls with it. Accepting of all the weirdness the moment brings? Willing to try obscure paths? Non-judgmental of the loons around him? Seven.

THE MONSTER, FOUR

Again, we have split between the original Monster and the Young Frankenstein version. All iterations of the Monster have a sympathetic tendency, but the comedic one has almost no threat in him. Boris Karloff’s Monster is beloved because it can terrify. He pushes that little girl down the well!

Can a being brought to life by man have a soul? He can certainly have an Enneagram number.

The problem is the amount of versions. Some of the Monsters are deeply emotional, hurt, lonely and abandoned. Some are more brutish. Isn’t there always, to one degree or another, a level of envy? Because he’s given life and then rejected by his creator, the Monster is jealous of a relationship that other humans have naturally. When he realizes how he’s been cheated of this by Victor he becomes bitter and violent.

His lows are so very low. I want to say Four. This story is so poignant, so eternal, because the Monster expresses so much emotional pain. He has much to give, and yet he never has the chance to share and express it. Another number wouldn’t rock us with this heartache.

The Monster in Young Frankenstein is more a comedic tool than a character. He doesn’t arc, he just changes due to an operation. He doesn’t really speak. I don’t consider him to have an Enneagram. He’s a great foil for Wilder and Kahn, and is portrayed brilliantly by Boyle, but he’s a punch line rather than a person.

HELP WANTED

ONE

The first episode of Spongebob Squarepants! The French-accented narrator introduces us to the sea, Bikini Bottom, and the pineapple home of Spongebob. It’s all so familiar now, but I can still imagine that moment when all this was new.

TWO

Spongebob’s underwater alarm clock rings like a foghorn. Whatever the day holds for this new character, it’s Trouble.

THREE

Here’s Spongebob in bed, waking up. Normally this wouldn’t be Three-worthy, but it’s our first time seeing him. Our hero!

FOUR

Gary the Snail, Patrick under his rock, the neighborhood street — all are introduced. Spongebob lifts teddy bear weights with difficulty, showing us a lot about his character. When he’s done the teddies float through the water and down to the ground, reiterating the rules of the world.

The Krusty Krab has a Help Wanted sign in the window. We meet Squidward and Mr. Krabs, and learn that to work at the KK is Spongebob’s dream. With a little boosting from Patrick, he goes in.

SWITCH

When Spongebob enters, he trips over a nail in the floor and goes through a cartoon slapstick rigamarole. Squidward and Mr. Krabs watch. It’s an exaggeration of every nightmare we’ve all had when applying for a new job. Will we be accepted?

FIVE

In order to be hired, Spongebob must pass a test. Mr. Krabs tells him to fetch a hydrodynamic spatula, something seemingly impossible. On the one hand, this is very Five: the team cannot assemble until all members have proven themselves. On the other hand, we learn that Mr. Krabs can be unfair and that Squidward will forever set himself against Spongebob. Classic character establishment for a series.

While Spongebob is gone shopping, busloads of Anchovies come to the KK and overwhelm the register. They’re like a wave, sending Mr. Krabs and Squidward up the restaurant’s mast. Things look bad.

SIX

Spongebob lowers himself by whirling spatula power to save the day. At the Three we see an unknown quantity: who is our protagonist? Here we see fulfillment. Oh! He’s a good-natured, resourceful underdog who happily bails out his friends.

SEVEN

“To the kitchen!” We never doubted Spongebob, but he officially decides to help.

EIGHT

Cue the surf music! Cooking and dancing, like a Busby Berkeley musical number, Spongebob feeds all the Anchovies and they leave. Mr. Krabs has an immense bag of money, which makes him content. You’re hired, and three cheers for Spongebob, much to Squidward’s dismay.

NINE

Patrick enters and orders a Krabby Patty. Ah, the future of the series! Spongebob makes dozens of burgers, Squidward complains, and Mr. Krabs doesn’t care. Sweet first episode. Everything that we know and love is already there.

VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN, SIX

It’s funny to me that when I think of Frankenstein and its characters I go first to Mel Brooks’ comedic take, Young Frankenstein. The novel, the Boris Karloff movie, even later versions such as Kenneth Branagh’s, are secondary in my memory.

And so, in this post, I will try to isolate the original character, Victor. His hubris is one of the main themes. The advances of science mattered more than moral considerations. He is the protagonist, his is the arc, and he falls hard along the way.

What Enneagram number does that make him? First, I would say not a Heart Type. The story is particularly cruel regarding his treatment of the Monster. God the Father loves us, no matter what. Victor the Father cannot love his creation, even though he should. This is a heartless act.

He pursues the Monster to the ends of the earth, dying in an ice-bound ship. What number has the dedication, the fanaticism, to go to these limits? Ah. What about a Six? Their sense of right and wrong, white and black, will carry them through many trials. It’s also what got Victor in trouble in the first place. Once he’d convinced himself he had an obligation to dig up dead bodies and stitch them together, moral qualms were ignored. His sense of duty carries him all the way to the end and requires he tell his story to the narrator, no matter how embarrassing or ugly for himself.

LOTSO, THREE

Like Prospector, Lotso is a villain because his toy life was thwarted. Remind me. He was accidentally left behind, right? And then replaced by the parents.

Ah, the cruelty of toy life. You’re one of a million versions of yourself, and yet you are supposed to be special and unique to your child. If you haven’t suffered enough wear and tear that identifies you, how will anybody know you’re their one of a kind? 

Lotso is truly mean. He lies to Big Baby in order to deny him a reunion and keep him from having what Lotso can’t have. He runs the daycare like a tyrant, including using new arrivals as fodder. He’s portrayed like a sweet-smelling mafia don. And he’s an accomplished liar.

Again, let’s pretend that the creators had some subconscious sense of the Enneagram physique. Lotso, therefore, can’t be a One, Four, Five, or Six. He’s too burly. I refuse to call him a Two. Prospector has cornered the market on that portrayal. He’s too sedentary to be an Eight or Nine. Three or Seven?

Three. The evil kind. That touch of envy, of not having the toy life he deserved, is the key.

Also, no Seven would ever sit still long enough to be named Lots-O’-Huggin’.

UPDATE 7/8/2021:

After watching this again, I really must complain about Lotso. He’s the downfall, the reason Toy Story 3 is not as great as the first two. What is Lotso’s motivation, what does he want? The Prospector is such a wonderful villain. He wants a family, he wants the love and camaraderie he was denied as a toy. Tokyo is that chance for him, and he fights for it.

Lotso, though, wants . . . power? Domination? He was lost, and then replaced. What emotion does that history motivate? Envy of toys who had owners for years, yes. A place from which he can never be abandoned again, yes. How does that all translate into his actions in the daycare, though? The first question any actor asks, and any writer needs to ask about a character, is: What do I/they want? The answer must be playable, and it must be a strong foundation for the plot. Woody and the gang are crystal clear, which is why this is still a very good movie. But it’s not great, and that failure lies with Lotso.

PROSPECTOR, TWO

Heart Type, hands down, one hundred percent! His speech at the end, the fact that no child wanted to buy or play with the Prospector doll, is just so perfect. It’s been eating him alive. Oh, the irony of being the sidekick toy that no one wants is magnificent.

Which number? If we give the creators credit for instinctually understanding Enneagram physiques (as we did with Woody), then he is no Four.

I’m totally cracking up. He’s a Two! It’s the pickaxe. He has accessories! Also, it’s quite heartbreaking that a doll with so much love to give, as a Two would, is ignored. His bitterness is justified. What a lovely choice.

SID, NULL

The human next-door neighbor, Sid, is Toy Story’s villain. What’s hilarious, is that in real life many of us were Sids. He’s admirable! Inventive, tool-handy, an outside-the-box thinker — it’s what we all want to be. And the story creators knew this! By looking from the toys’ perspective they make fun of themselves and their own childhood.

As the villain, what does Sid bring? Do we judge him by human standards or toy? Is he creative or cruel?

He likes to blow things up. When he blows things up he makes up a story as to why the toys go boom. Like Andy, he has an imaginative relationship with his toys. Again, in real life, Sid is an amazing kid. The undermined trope is just so wonderful. He could really be any Enneagram number.

To be fair, though, we have to consider him only as the villain. He enjoys mutilating. He terrorizes. Toys tremble in fear underneath his bed. He seeks out new and nice toys in order to abuse them.

Nope, it’s not working. I can’t pinpoint him. He’s too generic, in either role. He’s a collection of tropes without a specific character build. The same is true of Andy. They are the yin and yang of each other, and neither is given anything beyond a general archetype.

JESSIE, FOUR

She’s so emotional, so vulnerable with such a heart. Four?

You just love her, don’t you? Her passion for the Roundup Gang and her companions is endearing. Her enthusiasm for life outside of the packing box. Her love of Emily, although not remarkable for the world of toys, still can make you cry. That song!

As broken as she is, hurt by her abandonment, she’ll still jump in and hope. She’ll be part of the Gang, she’ll be part of Andy’s room, she’ll be in the daycare center. She’s so game!

When Woody rescues her in the airplane, she goes from lost and devastated to thrilled and enthusiastic so quickly. Her resilience! 

Pixar has created a three-dimensional Four, someone with the warts and the triumphs, and Jessie is given all the time to show the depth of her character. She is an example of the true breadth of this Enneagram number.

It’s also why she and Woody are not a romantic item. Two people of the same number will be more like siblings.

BUZZ LIGHTYEAR, ONE

He’s so helpful! He never tires, either. Patient. Remember when he’s taping back together his cardboard spaceship and the other toys help? And when he works with Etch-a-Sketch to discover the chicken man? Buzz is indefatigable.

He’s such a rule-follower that it takes half a movie for him to realize he’s not who he thinks.

Brave. Athletic. He sees himself as heroic and he behaves that way. Even after his ego has taken a hit, he still shines through as that wing-popping, save-the-day guy.

When he finally realizes he’s part of a team, he’s happy to be a team player. 

I keep coming up with an Enneagram One. Rules, obviously. Athleticism. That Energizer Bunny quality. He’s a leader. Once he understands the true mission — be Andy’s toy — he’s willing to co-lead. A One will share authority with someone who’s proven to be competent. When Buzz understands the entire Andy’s Room situation, he also realizes that Woody has done a good job. As long as business is conducted efficiently, a One will put aside any personal disagreements.

Also, don’t forget the flamenco dancing. I’m cracking up right now remembering all the great Buzz moments. Ones are funny. Part of the greatness of their humor is it bubbles up from their core. It’s honest. That’s definitely Buzz.