SHERLOCK HOLMES, SEVEN

I haven’t read much of the original stories. My knowledge of Sherlock comes from movies and TV. Doesn’t he seem like an Enneagram Seven, though?

He really must be a Head Type. I just can’t see any way that the world’s most famous case-solver isn’t.

That means Holmes is a Five, Six, or Seven.

A Five is deeply observational. That’s very Holmesian. And a Six is so focused on right and wrong. That’s also very Holmesian. If we look only at Sherlock’s detective work, we may never identify his Enneagram number.

However, what about the cocaine and morphine? A Six would worry too much about side effects, and a Five wouldn’t be interested in clouding the brain to that degree. A Seven, though? For a Man Seven, this is his wheelhouse. Multi-tasking, dabbling in the arcane, fiddling and dosing, Seven Men want it all, and they’re one of the only numbers who can survive and almost thrive through the process.

If Holmes is a Seven, then the best actor to portray him is Robert Downey, Jr. He’s medium height, power in the legs, and convincingly plays that joie de vivre. Whatever his real life number, he’s well-suited to play a Seven. 

EMMA WOODHOUSE, THREE

Emma is successful at everything she tries. Three! (It’s really easy to hate Threes, they’re so competent.) She’s helpful and kind-hearted, very social as Threes are, but she has little patience for idiocy. Threes don’t mind sharing their time and wisdom with us lesser mortals, but only up to a point. Then they become busy running the world and improving the trajectory of humanity, and they must move on.

Threes are likable. Check. They also hate — haaaaate — being incompetent or making mistakes. They will burn you down. This is the only time you stop and think, wait: Threes are kind of a jerk. Emma will blame others for her failure if she can. She’s completely wrong about Harriet but it takes her most of the plot to admit it. And when Mr. Knightley calls her out for being so mean to Miss Bates, Emma is devastated. We all would be; her actions were cruel and Mr. Knightley is in the right. Cheerful Emma is wiped out by this upbraiding.

Here’s what interests me the most, though: Three Women are not lithe, yet every actress cast so far to play Emma is. Paltrow, Taylor-Joy, Beckinsale — these actresses are a very similar physical type, slender-framed and winsome. Three Women have a lower center of gravity and are built more solidly. They carry the weight of the world because of their competence; of course they have a body structure that matches. I probably won’t be satisfied with any version of Emma until she is cast with an actress who looks Three-ish.

JESSICA JONES, EIGHT

Right off the bat I can’t say what Enneagram number would fit Marvel’s Jessica. Do we count her physical strength? Does a superhero gift relate in any way to the personality typing?

Jessica is a drunk. The horrors she’s seen lead her to want to escape reality. Of course, anyone can fall prey to alcoholism. Does this suggest a number?

She doesn’t quit. Fear, danger, nothing diverts her. She’s very dogged.

She’s not an emotion person. She has no heart and no envy. Scratch Two, Three, or Four. She is a detective, but she doesn’t seem to enjoy the puzzle of a case. She’s there for justice, and for beating people up and taking names. Body Type over Head. We’re looking at an Eight, Nine, or One. Hey, that means her superhero strength is indeed critical.

Her tendency to lead first with anger suggests an Eight. She really does walk around with a chip on her shoulder.

Although I must say, if we discover that every rockin’ superhero woman is an Eight, I’ll be pretty disappointed. The rest of us are tough, too, dangit!

PAUL ATREIDES, NINE

Frank Herbert’s Dune is getting chatter because a new film will be released at the end of the year. People have strong feelings and the latest version looks to be . . . not as we expected.

I wrote in my book an Enneagram storytelling review of David Lynch’s version. His Dune is a weird movie with some gaping holes in its structure, but it’s also endearing for being so very, very strange.

So, what Enneagram personality number is Paul Atreides/Muad’Dib?

I haven’t read the book in decades and I won’t read it now. Let’s assume that Kyle MacLachlan’s Paul is definitive for understanding his Enneagram, okay?

The trickiest part about guessing a character’s Enneagram number is that some human, who has an Enneagram number of his own, portrays him. Which traits are Paul’s and which are Kyle’s?

Physicality will be the greatest stumbling block in deciphering numbers. Casting directors may not find a body that matches what the character’s Enneagram build should be. Also, via movie magic, what do we actually know about the actor? Tall in real life, or short? Are they swole/lean for the specifics of the part? For instance, what does someone like Christian Bale, pumped for Batman and starved for The Machinist, actually look like when he’s comfortably himself?

The minute I focus in, though, I can make some decisions.

Paul is a Nine. He kind of has to be, yes? He’s physical. He can hold his own throughout his military training. He rides the worm competently, which may be part of his destiny but it’s also a physical manifestation.

He’s a diplomat, as the best Nines are. He balances the royal side of being Atreides with the Fremen sympathies. Again, the story suggests that Paul excels at these things because he’s a messiah, but these are comfort zone traits for a Nine. He ends up marrying for political reasons, which is one of those Nine moves that feels coldly calculated to Heart Type people.

He also, when the story reaches fruition, brings the righteous fire. Most Nines aren’t put in life or death situations where they must rouse themselves to this trait, but it lurks in all of them. The sleeper must awaken, baby. MacLachlan communicates all of these Nine qualities, so that’s good. His own personal Enneagram number is a mystery to me, which speaks well for his acting. I would guess, though, that he’s not a Nine himself. The physicality isn’t there, at least in this role. The new film has cast Timothee Chalamet as Paul. He doesn’t look physical enough, either, to be a Nine in real life.

But Paul is a Nine. Seems like trouble is a-brewing for this interpretation of Herbert’s classic.

WONDER WOMAN, NINE

She’s literally an Amazon warrior. Tall, athletic, even goddess-like — Diana Prince is the archetypal Enneagram Nine.

Nines are, for the most part, placid. They prefer peace. The latest Wonder Woman is portrayed exactly like this. She enjoys her physical abilities, her companionship on the island, her family. An invasion turns all that into righteous fuel, and after that she will not be stopped.

She’s a superhero, so her powers are credited to her half-god genetics. This, though, is all just Nine Skills. Blocking bullets with reflexes? Nine. Twirling and sliding through the battlefield? Nine. Indomitable physical will? Nine. The story just pushes normal Nine-ness to a supernatural degree.

Her calm temperament and her effortless abilities make Wonder Woman a beloved DC character. A real life Woman Nine won’t hit all these storybook marks, but she will be an average version of the WW traits. A figurative Amazon warrior.