GORDON URQUHART, THREE

Gordon is the local man. Like everyone in the village, he wears many hats: hotelier, bartender, and accountant. He represents the community, negotiating the purchase deal with Mac. He’s competent and a natural leader.

Gordon is a Three. He must be. He’s good at everything he does and everyone like and trusts him. When Mac, drunk, says to him, “I’d make a good Gordon, Gordon,” it’s an admission that Gordon is already the best version of himself.

One thing I like about Gordon’s Threeness: he’s great for the village. His genius is capped by his circumstances. Mac, coming from a more ruthless community, outnegotiates him. We know from the early Knox board meeting that the town and surrounding beach is worth $600 million and that they can go no higher than $60 million in payout. Gordon feels very bold to ask for $6 million, and Mac, stonefaced as always, says he’ll consider that price.

Bonus points if you recognize Gordon’s young Denis Lawson as fighter pilot Wedge from the OG “Star Wars”.

OLDSEN, SIX

The Scottish representative of Knox Oil and Gas, Oldsen works with Mac to secure the deal. Here is Peter Capaldi (of Dr. Who fame) in his first film role, portraying an extremely awkward young man. He runs like Woody from “Toy Story”, lol.

I suspect that Oldsen is a Head Type, considering his physical and social clumsiness. He has a genuine honesty, though, that makes him endearing. (Unlike Mac, he would not make a reliable negotiator.)

Even though both men dress in business suits, which doesn’t leave much room for odd pattern or style choices, Oldsen seems like a guy who has a few strange pieces in his closet at home. I’m going with a Six for him. He has a dogged loyalty to Mac and a persistent (but not stalker) interest in Marina. When Happer mistakes him for Mac, Oldsen doesn’t care. He just wants to do the job. This is a Trooper.

MAC, FIVE

The movie “Local Hero” never gives Mac a first name, although we know his full last name is MacIntyre. He’s sent to Scotland to finalize a land purchase from a small coastal village for a Texas oil company. If you have never seen this strange, charming film from 1983, I highly recommend you try it. It’s become a Thanksgiving staple for our family for the silliest of reasons: Mac and friends deliver a meal of whiskey and beef sandwiches to a beach shack. Something about this parade of elegance across the sand speaks of food and tradition. It’s a tentative connection, I grant you, but we count it.

Mac is reluctant to leave Houston in order to secure a deal. He’s a “Telex man” (which is meaningless to us nowadays). In Scotland he wears his suits and watch, all business. His character arc changes over time, though, and he comes to love the village. It becomes his true home and Houston becomes alien.

So, we have a protagonist who’s organized and focused. As a dealmaker, he plays it very close to the vest. He never gloats, but he’s arranging a purchase price much lower than the company expected. He’s no glad-hander, and he’s not particularly good with people.

We’re looking at a Head Type.

Peter Riegert, in an early role in his career, doesn’t fit the physical dimensions of a tall Five, but I think this is what he’s playing. Although the Scotland experience makes him more fun-loving, Mac doesn’t seem like a Seven. He’s too serious, too buttoned-up at the beginning. He could be a Six, but he seems too cold at first, too distant from other people. Because he’s reserved and slow to relax, I prefer him as a Five.

MICHAEL, FOUR

Please don’t read about Michael if you want to avoid spoilers.

In order to judge Michael’s Enneagram, we need more than Season One. He only begins to change in later episodes. Eleanor thwarts him, which opens up personality options to him. Of course, an argument can be made that Michael should have no Enneagram at all because of what he is. Throughout Season One he tricks us into thinking he has a character. It’s all play-acting, though, as part of his Good Place fake. The real Michael doesn’t appear until the last episode of that season.

During Season Two we begin to see genuine traits. He has an identity crisis. At first he’s only concerned with saving his job, but later he gains an emotional connection to the gang. His victims become his friends. He learns about morality. He tries to do the right thing.

So if Michael is to have an Enneagram, it must be a number that encompasses his beginning as an active demon. For some reason my mind goes immediately to a Five. Fives can have a cold disconnection from others that can seem cruel if you expect a more emotional person. Until he’s taught ethics by Chidi, Michael may have been a competent demon with no qualms. The way Michael is won over by logical arguments also suggests a Head Type.

However, I’m more persuaded that Michael is a Four. He has an emotional breakdown when he no longer knows his role in the fake Good Place. And part of him genuinely wants to connect with the gang. His goofy ability to make mistakes is not completely a ruse. It’s an exaggeration of his true personality. A Four could take pleasure in the dark aspects of hell, and could just as easily switch to longing for a community of friends.

Also — to be frank — a Four is a better liar than a Five. No judgment. It can be a useful trait.

TAHANI AL-JIMAL, TWO

Tahani’s defining characteristic is Envy, which makes her a Heart Type. After that, discerning whether she’s a Two, Three, or Four becomes difficult. She has traits that fit into any of those Enneagram numbers.

The interesting choice is a Two. Her impulse toward charity work is genuine, even though it begins as a way to prove to her parents that she’s just as worthy of love as her sister.

She’s very successful at raising money for a cause, which could make her a Three. She’s also very emotionally connected, a Four possibility.

Ah, but she considers the morale of the neighborhood to be her responsibility. This is a Two. A Four would take more personal time. A Two won’t rest if they think they can help others. Also, that self-sacrifice convinces Tahani that she’s a good person. A Two, one of the most giving numbers of the Enneagram, can avoid introspection if their work is deemed to be important. Her own motivations, something she will eventually need to examine in the Good Place, are constantly set aside so she can uplift the community.

JASON MENDOZA, NINE

He runs a dance troupe. This is definitely a Body Type.

We know he is no Head Type; analyzing the world is not his forte, lol. And he can’t be a Heart Type because he has no Envy. He likes revenge, but that’s something different.

I have a hard time thinking of him as a One because he has no financial acumen. He has the zippy physicality of a One, and he’s funny in his own way, but it doesn’t feel right to call him a One.

He’s a Nine. Unhappy or unfulfilled Nines can create chaos. They don’t want to — avoiding conflict is still a core Nine trait — but in their search for satisfaction they churn trouble. If anyone is a lightning rod for catastrophe, especially on Earth, it’s Jason.

For humor, Jason’s written as a cheerful idiot. Finding an Enneagram can be difficult when a character is almost a stereotype, but the showrunners and actor give Jason a rounded personality. A Nine’s sense of justice shines through.

JANET, NULL

Janet is a robot. I’m not sure she can have an Enneagram. It takes us a while to learn that she grows and changes with every reboot. The love she finds in one iteration carries over to future versions of Janet. That suggests that she will indeed have a personality type. Her character arcs.

However, what Type does she fall into? She doesn’t fit any of the general categories of Head, Heart, or Body. I refuse to count her computer brain as a Head Type reaction. Her willingness to pop in and help anyone in the community is not a Heart Type reaction; it’s her programming.

Characters who end up a Null because they were badly written do happen. However, characters who are purposely written as a Null — I discuss Bishop from Aliens as a deliberate Null in my book — are interesting. It’s harder than it sounds to write someone who fits no Enneagram.

Was this the right choice for Janet? The first android in Alien, Ash, is not a Null. A robot is not automatically devoid of a personality type. Janet is a wonderful character, beautifully portrayed. I wonder, though, if an Enneagram might have opened up possibilities in the later seasons when the show isn’t as sharp as it is in One and Two. A Body Type, especially for a robot that needs no physical expression to do her job, could’ve been intriguing.

ELEANOR SHELLSTROP, THREE

Eleanor, dominated by Envy, must be a Heart Type. Our early impression of Eleanor is that she’s selfish; it seems she will always use other people. However, her innate desire to connect with her neighbors leads her beyond her uglier personality traits.

I feel certain Eleanor is no Two, lol. Do we go with Four or Three? On Earth, Eleanor was an accomplished jerk. That’s not how I think of a Three — their successes are usually admirable — but I won’t rule out that Enneagram. Dark Threes make good villains. It’s possible that Eleanor taps into and subverts this quality by becoming our protagonist. 

Also, because of her vivacity, Eleanor could be a Four. Her emotions don’t fluctuate between high and low, but she brings a constant energy that other Enneagram numbers wouldn’t be able to sustain.

Whoa, this is a tough one.

I’m going to say Three because of Chidi. He’s so clearly a Six, a Three’s strength number. In every iteration of the Good Place, Chidi persuades Eleanor to be a better person. He models a moral personality that Eleanor has never considered. I don’t think Chidi would succeed as often if she were a Four.

CHIDI ANAGONYE, SIX

I mean, right? No questions, no doubt. Chidi must be a Six.

He approaches the world as a Head Type: solutions will be found by thinking and analyzing. He constantly worries, which is a distinctive Six trait when it becomes persistent. He weighs everything from a black vs. white perspective, with no room for gray.

Although he’s morally resolute, he will go to battle for his friends. Chidi’s Sixness, the conflict within him when faced with the Good Place, is what makes him such a great character. Should he help Eleanor, who’s (unwittingly at first) breaking the rules? Once he’s decided on his choice, he won’t quit. The writing, the directing, and the acting have all nailed a beautiful portrayal of a Six.

I just wish his wardrobe displayed more eccentricity. Men Sixes have a strange sense of fashion, no matter how sophisticated their profession. The tweed-and-turtleneck makes for a great joke, but his pants should’ve clashed. Heh.

LIEUTENANT DAN TAYLOR, FOUR

He’s so impulsive and angry; is Lt. Dan an Eight? An Eight, a Body Type, who loses part of his physical ability would have a difficult recovery.

What if Dan is a Heart Type, though? It’s a joke in the movie that Dan’s every ancestor has died in war, and Dan expects the same fate. A Four would feel pretty pissed off at getting cheated out of a glorious death.

Dan is more emotionally volatile than an Eight would be. “You call this a storm?!” He loves this conflict, this fight between his will and nature’s. It’s not about physical power, though. An Eight would ask for his body to be changed; for Dan, his heart needs to change. Until this moment he’s dominated by depression and can’t move forward with his life.

I also like him as a Four because he is another Heart Type companion for Forrest Gump. It’s consistent.