Character Ones – Enneagram and Encaustic

ANNA, ONE

She’s so efficient that we never get a plotline about her job at Downton. All of Anna’s troubles are personal. I’m immediately thinking about a One. She feels like a small, cheerful dynamo. And she has that moral comfort a One or a Six possesses. She’s not a worrier, though (beyond regular human emotion) as a Six would be. It doesn’t define her.

So, a One.

Nobody in this era is going to jog about the park, but Anna is often shown walking to town. A Body Type would have few other outlets for exercise. She’s physically vibrant and brisk. Also, lol, I think she manages the finances for her marriage (a One trait). Everyone upstairs and downstairs is at ease around her. She has no Envy in her, so she can’t be a Three. Like a Three, though, a One is universally liked and successful. It makes her a useful character to the writers for a terrible rape plotline. No one wants to see Anna harmed, and her physical exuberance is convenient as a pivot point to put her in danger. That’s the dramatic nature of a soap opera, and I can’t complain that the showrunners have integrated Anna’s Enneagram into the story. I just don’t want to watch it.

MIDGE MAISEL, ONE

Any comic who does live shows will be very quick-witted, very spontaneous. (Do all comedians fit into a certain Enneagram slot? Wow! There’s a thought!) Midge, however, has something more than a gift for stand-up: an impulse control problem. She should push the boundaries, of course. Like Lenny Bruce, she goes to jail for saying forbidden words. It’s more than that, though. She damages her career and her friendships by blurting out jokes that she regrets in hindsight.

Immediately I go to One. They are some of the funniest people and some of the quickest. A One is not afraid to shock. (How many professional comics are Ones or Eights, lol? They are the most willing to speak bald truth in a way that surprises and delights.) Is Midge an Eight? No, she’s not aggressive enough. Her weapon is her incredibly fast brain. Her best routines are when she riffs rather than when she goes with prepared notes.

Also, as Body Types, Ones can cultivate an unhealthy obsession with their physical shape. When Midge measures her thigh circumference, it’s creepy. It’s supposed to be. In the show it represents her focus on being the “perfect little wife” trope, including her nighttime cold cream and curlers that she hides from her husband. She breaks free from these restrictions, which is the point. But, lol, it’s also a One indicator.

However, a One will not necessarily sabotage their own professional life with loose lips. That trait belongs solely to Midge. It’s her fatal flaw. It bugs me, actually, that she doesn’t seem to learn from her mistakes and adapt her behavior. A One is extremely competent. I would like to see Midge in future seasons get a handle on her carelessness. It would help her to have an Enneagram character that rings true. And it would help me to not curse at the TV. Heh.

TOM HOLLAND’S PETER PARKER, ONE

Holland’s Peter is nice because he’s young. He’s respectful to his elders. Obviously he’s a good person, too, but much of his wide-eyed aw-shucks is due to youth, not an inherent character trait.

Without Spiderman Peter still has an athletic comfortableness. The suit helps, the bite helps, but this Peter had some skills before all that. Odds are that this rule-following young man is a One. He has a fast way of moving, a physical quickness, that speaks of Body Type. He has ambition and charm — very One — while still trying to do as he’s told.

When I think of the old Spiderman cartoon TV show, a One is a great choice for Parker. The wise-cracking, the physical speed and dexterity, the moral certainty — these are the traits that define Spiderman for me. This is who he is in my memory, and Holland’s Peter brings that Spiderman to life.

BLACK WIDOW, ONE

Poor Natasha. Even in her own movie she’s basically a sidekick. The closest we get to specific character traits is in Endgame when she tries to keep the team and the world post-Blip together. Her willingness to run a radio base and contact station in the midst of chaos is one of her most interesting moments.

Otherwise, Natasha is a competent assassin with a monstrous origin story. All credit to Johansson for giving humor and stoicism to a one-dimensional character.

So who is this Black Widow? All of the girls in the program are trained physically. Can she claim a Body Type, or is every Widow forced into excellence? Let’s say no, and see where that takes us. She longs for community, yet keeps herself apart as someone undeserving of friendship and intimacy. Child Natasha is written as an Eight, the way she fights for her sister against soldiers and authority. It never felt right, though, because adult Natasha isn’t an Eight. Wait, is she a One?

Ah, of course. Her wit, her fast-paced fighting style, and her moral code (“there’s red in my ledger”) all point to One. This is why her movie isn’t good. The showrunners went dark. With a One, the tone needs to go light. A One’s quickness, their cleverness and problem-solving optimism, would shine more in an Antman-style format. Natasha’s so focused I can see why they went in the direction they did, but it was a mistake. The beauty of a One is the surprise: they’re physically dedicated and morally serious, yet they’ll come up with the sharpest jokes and insights. Natasha is given these gifts in movies like Winter Soldier, yet they forgot about them during her own project. Oh, man, that’s sad.

INEJ GHAFA, ONE

Without a doubt this is a Body Type. The Wraith is an athletic phenomenon. She’s small, which suggests a One. Is this true?

Of course. She’s no Eight, certainly. Anger and impulse are not part of her character. She’s a dart, an arrow. A stab. These are not the movements of a Nine. Her quickness, litheness, and stealthiness all say One.

The orderliness of a One is there, too. Her gathering of secrets, her accumulation of knowledge, it’s like a filing system in her head. The city, its rooftops, are another filing system to Inej. Everything is so tidy.

She’s a One and Kaz is a Five. I love them both, but I don’t have high hopes that these Enneagram numbers will make a match if their story were ever to continue.

MARTY McFLY, ONE

He’s not a rule-follower or particularly organized. We know this by the amount of school tardy slips he’s racked up. He’s not chivalrous; he leaves his unconscious beloved unattended on a porch swing in a dicey neighborhood. He’s a loyal friend and well-liked by strangers. He’s fairly athletic, riding multiple iterations of a skateboard with ease. If it weren’t for the tardy thing I’d call him a One. He has a certain can-do attitude and a love of adventure that might indicate a Seven. His ability to charm the past and come out a winner, and his hatred of being unfairly labeled a “chicken”, suggests a Three. So, what have we got?

He’s not interested in how Doc invents things. He doesn’t chime in or brainstorm, or even try to understand. Not a Seven.

Besides being a time traveler, Marty really has no vocational plan. What did he like to do before Doc intervened? Drive a 4×4 is about it. Not a Three.

He’s a man who needs a mission, and when it’s given to him — save the past to save the future — he’s engaged and active. The tardies are a sign he’s drifting, looking for that motivating moment to come from outside himself and change his life. One.

LITTLEFINGER (BOOK), ONE

He’s short, sly and manipulative. And he’s in charge of the money. One?

He likes secrets, holding them and sharing them. He likes knowing more than others. He likes messing with your mind. Sarcasm and deceit. Yet, I want to believe. I want to find something worthwhile in him. He’s an underdog, actually. We’re supposed to suspect him. He tells Ned not to trust him, yet he helps Ned in ways he could’ve ignored. It’s as if The Game is playing constantly in his head, pieces shifting, and he’ll attend to you and reality in his spare time. He may even watch the tokens move afterward, seeing the effect of his words.

When Ned asks his advice after Robert’s deadly injury he gives an excellent answer. He openly shares a treasonous idea. When it’s rejected, Littlefinger moves on. Open, then closed. He’s like a door. His honesty combined with practicality, and his dry wit, really say One. Also, his use of money, the purse, as a tool screams One. What about his ability to spin on a dime, to negotiate with Ned, and then stab him in the back? Much can be justified when a One believes they’re in the right. A One can be a flat-out villain and have no idea. They relentlessly pursue a worthy goal in their mind. How the rest of the world sees them is not only invisible, it’s unimportant.

EDDARD STARK (BOOK), ONE

Book Ned has a lot more intel than TV Ned. Varys informs him that the tournament melee was going to have an assassin for Robert. Cersei openly forbade him from fighting, a devious way to get the king to insist. Only Ned being his brutally honest self diverted Robert. Ned’s consciousness of the swirling danger is much higher in this form and Ned seems smarter, more active. TV Ned seems like a well-meaning fool in comparison.

He has a duty to Robert, the realm, and the dead Hand Arryn to tell the king his children are not his offspring. The girls are booked on a ship home, and Ned will now speak. However, when the moment strikes, when Robert is deathly injured, Ned refuses to act. He’s offended at the suggestion. His sense of the flow of time and proper order for actions is completely out of sync with the reality of The Game. To be fair to Ned, grief plays a part in this. His best friend is dying.

Make your peace with the Lannisters, Littlefinger counsels. It’s really good advice, better than Renly’s more aggressive answer. Be the Protector of the Realm that Robert appointed you, basically. Guard and train the boy, build allies, position yourself. All the peace that Ned thinks he wants can be his. It’s reasonable and fair to all. But it’s treason. And wrongs have been done. Ned genuinely thinks he has no choice but Stannis and war. He never considers the kingdom, though, or the people in the streets. His choice will be the hardest on them.

Cersei, when the confrontation comes, offers him a deal similar to Littlefinger’s. Bend the knee, step down as Hand, and go home in peace. Does she mean it? She’s already ripped up the paper, removed his chance at Protector and shown how much power she believes she wields. She offers the deal in front of everyone. It might be an honest offer. Again, Ned underestimates her, but mostly he will refuse because of honor. He also completely misunderstands Littlefinger, who turns on him. And the letter he wrote to Stannis, committing his intentions to paper, is captured with his seal on it. What a blithering idiot.

MAID MARION (2010), ONE

She’s brave and bold, of course. This Maid is married, but she only had one night with her husband before he left for the Crusades with Richard. She lives now in the role of daughter-in-law, which is similar to ward. Only in the most technical terms is she a wife. Our Maids are very similar.

Blanchett’s Maid is more physical than de Havilland’s. She’s an archer and a farmer. She knows how to use a dagger if necessary. Let us completely ignore the movie’s climax when Marion pretends to know more physicality than is believable. Until that moment she was a great character, a great iteration of the Maid. I choose to erase that scene from my memory.

This Maid is no Three. She’s not particularly deft at social situations, and she has a sense of failure that swirls around her. I want to say Body Type. Her first instinct, right or wrong, is to engage physically. When her people are locked in the barn, threatened with burning, Marion uses a sword to pry the boards loose and free them. Her answers to most problems involve a physical response.

One, Eight, or Nine? She’s too feisty to be a Nine. Eight is the obvious choice, because Hollywood tends to write strong women characters as Eights. Bold and aggressive are not the same, but using confrontation is a shortcut writing technique to suggest bravery.

I kind of like a One, though. It’s her prickly shyness with Robin that turns me away from an Eight. She has a sharp, witty tongue, particularly with Sir Walter, and a managerial competence that feel very One-ish. It’s interesting!

SKINNY SANTA, ONE

That moment when you see Santa — Santa Claus! — tell Rudolph he’s not good enough because of a physical difference you’re devastated. THIS IS THE SANTA! He’s all good, all loving (like God) and all forgiving. Why is this Santa so petty and mean?

Usually Santa is more of an avatar. This Santa is a character. Let’s pursue his Enneagram number.

Well, and I’m cracking up, this Santa is hungry. Or, he’s not hungry. He’s just an ascetic, which is totally wrong for a Santa. Mrs. Claus says, “Eat, papa, eat. No one likes a skinny Santa.”

WHY ISN’T SANTA ROLY POLY? Everything about this version is . . . Not Santa. Every year, according to this story, Santa lives lean until the last couple of weeks when he overeats. This is a very conflicted, eating-disordered Santa.

One. I mean, I go immediately to One. Skinny, energetic Santa who only gives in to the requirement of his job at the last minute is a One. Santa who tsks at Rudolph’s nose because it’s not up to some random standard that Santa himself made out of whole cloth is a One. And when he must grovel to Rudolph and ask for his help, he does it with dignity. One.

Also, the Pole is super efficient. One.