MAL ORETSEV, NINE

Mal is a man’s man. He can shoot, he can fight, and he can hunt. Women swoon.

Of course he’s a Nine. Physically, he dominates, even against grisha power. Conflict finds him, not the other way around. He wants a quiet life and ends up at the center of a maelstrom, valiantly heroic.

It also explains his relationship with Alina. He is her Enneagram strength number, she is his weakness number. This is why she’s drawn to him and he shies away from her.

In the first season of the show we don’t see how complicated their relationship is. They’re portrayed as hesitant romantics. In the book, though, they’re much more co-dependent. Because Alina has stuffed her sun summoning power, she’s psychologically and physically harmed. And Mal carries the weight of the trilogy (spoilers, darling), which shapes his character in ways the show has not yet addressed. Like Alina, the book version of him is not as likable. His Nine-ness, his reluctance to engage and shape his destiny, turns to nihilism, and the heroism a Nine carries is more of a burden for him. I like the actor and how he plays Mal; I hope the show can sidestep some of the darker aspects of his arc.

ALINA STARKOV, SIX

If you are unfamiliar with the “Grishaverse”, I sympathize. Until I watched the Netflix show, and then deep-dived into the novels, I had never heard of this IP. The Crows, the underworld gang characters, are much easier to scan and appreciate. How they’re written in the books is basically how they’re played in the show. They’re clear and extremely enjoyable. 

However, Alina, the protagonist of the Netflix series and of the Grisha plotline, is portrayed very differently in each work. Because we only have one season, talking about the show is difficult. The novel, though, is complete. We can look at this particular Alina and make some choices.

Throughout the Shadow and Bone trilogy, is Alina a consistent character? Can the changes to her be explained by her summoning power? I don’t particularly like Alina, and I’m curious why that is.

Continue reading “ALINA STARKOV, SIX”

INEJ GHAFA, ONE

Without a doubt this is a Body Type. The Wraith is an athletic phenomenon. She’s small, which suggests a One. Is this true?

Of course. She’s no Eight, certainly. Anger and impulse are not part of her character. She’s a dart, an arrow. A stab. These are not the movements of a Nine. Her quickness, litheness, and stealthiness all say One.

The orderliness of a One is there, too. Her gathering of secrets, her accumulation of knowledge, it’s like a filing system in her head. The city, its rooftops, are another filing system to Inej. Everything is so tidy.

She’s a One and Kaz is a Five. I love them both, but I don’t have high hopes that these Enneagram numbers will make a match if their story were ever to continue.

KAZ BREKKER, FIVE

He’s ruthless, of course. Incredibly smart. (“Is that scheming face?”) Iron-willed. That he can dominate even with his damaged leg suggests he isn’t a Body Type. His dexterity suggests he is. Are his lockpicking skills inherent, or a product of his determination?

Loyal. Patient. He doesn’t need instant gratification: his revenge plans go on for years. 

He’s a Five. It’s his observational skills. He can find the best crew, and he can concoct the most efficient plans, because his brain is always processing data. Inej surprises him when she approaches him at the Menagerie. He didn’t know she was there, and he’s super impressed by that. Immediately he arranges to buy out her contract and offers her a job. After that she never surprises him again. He heightens his ability to observe her. He knows everyone’s tell, and realizes the moment he’s shown one of his own. It’s that uber-consciousness that identifies him.

Also, he loves his crew but he never shows it or even thinks in those terms. His loyalty and his planning are how he proves himself. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t do those things. This is very Head Type.

SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM (1991), FOUR

There is no Prince John in Prince of Thieves, but the Sheriff is essentially that role. He machinates for the throne and is the primary antagonist.

I’m quite sure that Alan Rickman knew exactly what he was playing, but I’m sure I don’t. As I mentioned before, he’s in a different movie from the rest of the cast. He’s delivering large: big expressions, dynamic voice, comic reactions. It’s more of a stage than screen performance.

I would say he’s driven by envy, like the other Prince Johns, but he’s not brother to the king. Who does he envy? He has a wooden statue, life-sized, made of himself. He’s possibly just envious of anyone who has society’s attention.

He puts his trust in a witch woman. She has a satanic altar? I don’t know. She’s almost a freaking Muppet she’s so strange and inexplicable. Is she his mother? Look, don’t try to understand. He’s superstitious, though, and she’s basically one of the spinners of fate to him.

And he wants Marian. She’s the only eligible woman in the movie, so who else would he want? Did he desire her before Robin started paying attention? I can’t remember. At the climax of the movie, though, he tries to impregnate her on the floor, wrestling about in a semi-rape, semi-slapstick way, as the priest who married them is still standing there. I swear, the scene is possibly the worst Eight ever filmed. He does fight Robin and end up dead, though.

He’s emotional, he’s funny, he’s envious, and he’s only marginally competent at fighting. Four. Like Robin’s character, I believe he played the trope rather than the script, but he was consistent.

MAID MARIAN (1991), NULL

In my memory this Marian was pushy and dominating. Funny. In the first half of the movie she’s completely reasonable. As cousin to King Richard, she keeps her head down and provides for her tenants. She’s politically savvy and a good landlord. Robin, apparently, was a lightfoot lad before crusade, and she formed her opinion of him accordingly. He’s not a serious person to her.

Her practicality and efficiency are very Seven.

However, in the second half she changes her character. When Nottingham insists she marry him, she reacts much too emotionally for the era and for a Seven. A noblewoman of this time would’ve expected to marry for expedience, not love. Now, the Sheriff is repugnant and she should object, but not with such surprise and outrage. His request is logical and she would’ve expected it.

And how am I to properly judge her Enneagram when she’s given scenes utterly unreasonable? A woman with her property holdings would certainly know how to birth animals, let alone handle a woman’s breach delivery. That she’s sidelined by the guy is laughable and insulting.

I think I always expect Mastrantonio to be her character from The Abyss. She was so excellent in that part. Surprisingly, I would welcome that style for this Marian. Anything would be better than this hopscotch person we end up with. She’s a Null.

ROBIN HOOD (1991), NINE

My goodness, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is near unwatchable at this point. I don’t remember it being so horrible when it was released, but it has aged very poorly. The tone is all over the place, from Alan Rickman’s broad comedy as Sheriff, to Morgan Freeman’s limiting Magic Negro trope, Azeem. The editor could’ve made three different movies, I think, out of the footage.

Robin himself may be physically gifted. He’s a decent archer. None of his character, though, follows the trope of Hood as a dominant fighter. The focus is more on his leadership skills, although that’s not clearly defined, either. He has some right and respect as a nobleman, and he mouths platitudes about fighting back, but we see none of this as show. We do see a ragtag band living rough in the woods transformed by Robin into a community. This is one arc for Robin that the story puts on film.

So, the tradition of Robin as a Nine might be broken here. Nothing about him says Body Type. This Robin is also not a strategist. There’s no moment when he stands on a tree limb and taunts the rich while his Merry Men hide in all the right places. All he has is a soft heart, but I’m not sure he’s a Heart Type.

He’s brave. He’s ashamed of his youthful behavior and deeply regretful of how he parted from his father. He’s impulsive, mostly in a good way. When an opportunity occurs, he takes it, such as his opening escape from prison.

Really, he just wants a quiet life with family. I’m going to call him a Nine due to this avoidance of conflict. He’ll fight if he must, but he’d rather sit. I really hate to do it, because the other two Robins I’ve reviewed are such clear examples, and he’s not in their league. But he’s consistent throughout, so there it is.

GABBY GABBY, FOUR

She’s similar to Lotso: a kind of mafia don ruling a little fiefdom. She reverses, though, and becomes Woody’s friend with a happy ending, rather than a backstabbing enemy tied to the grill of a garbage truck. I don’t like the choice, lol. As a viewer it’s hard to switch from fear to empathy. And the one thing she does to Woody, even though he ends up a willing participant, is arguably too disturbing for a children’s movie. She’s creepy, and I can’t get past that.

So, does her character stay true to its Enneagram through these changes?

Unlike Lotso, Gabby’s motivation is quite clear: “I want to love a child and be loved in return.” She’s consistent. In order to achieve this she’ll do anything, from psychological manipulation to violence.

She’s not physical. At best we see her walk in that stiff-legged doll waddle. She’s done a lot of planning and thinking. In order to get to point D, a child’s love, she needs to accomplish A, B, and C. Is she a Head Type? Would a Heart Type need a storybook instruction manual in how to have a tea party?

Not a Seven. She’s too timid. She’s kind of sturdy for a Five or Six, though, and the series has always been good about an intuitive sense of body sizes. Also, a true Six would be more idiosyncratic. They might baffle or seem weird, but they’re not creepy. A Five wouldn’t be that ruthless; they’re too socially cautious to pull it off. 

Ah. She’s a Four, a Heart Type after all. It’s the self-interest, which sways with her whim. First she’s villainous, then she’s a teammate. A Four can hit all those points in one arc. The storybook isn’t a primer for her! It’s a mirror in which she can admire herself.

What the showrunners have missed, and what they got so right with Woody and Jessie, is the moment when a Four breaks your heart and you love them. Gabby is never lovable. A well-written Four is exasperating but also endearing. Their pain is on their sleeve. Whatever sympathy I have for her quest for a child is undercut by the memory of her glassy-eyed brutality toward Woody. This character needed another trip through the writer’s room in order to balance out her tone.

BO PEEP, EIGHT

This Bo acts plastic when she’s actually porcelain, and it drives me crazy, lol. In the first movie, the quality of her skin rendering is so lovely. In Toy Story 4, they’ve lost that translucent quality. And don’t get me started about how she throws herself about, even breaking an arm, as if she isn’t basically made of glass.

Before this, Bo doesn’t show enough character to read an Enneagram on her. Now that she’s living free we can figure her out.

She’s very physical, like an action hero doll. (Which is so wrong!) Brave, daring, hard-charging, she’s probably a Body Type, and most likely an Eight. Hollywood has a hard time writing any other number for strong women. She’s got her sheep and her little friend, McGiggles. (Oops, McDimples.) She knows everyone about the neighborhood, but they’re not in her core circle. This is definitely more Body than Head or Heart.

Really, there’s not much else to Bo. She’s a run-of-the-mill Woman Eight, the easiest trope to hit. Her porcelain delicacy is ignored. Her creation as a lamp ornament is disdained. Her inherent feminine fragility is tossed aside with her skirt. She’s just a badass who drives around in an RC skunk, subverting every one of our expectations and giving us nothing interesting in their stead.

Sorry, lol. I strongly disagree with these choices made for Bo. What kills me is that she had so much potential to be one of the great characters if the showrunners had embraced all the things that made her unique.

CLARA CLAYTON, SEVEN

She has less of a role than some of the other repeat characters, but Clara makes an impact. We know Doc well; any woman he would love needs to impress us.

In order to match with Doc, she has to be a science nerd, and she is. It goes beyond a love of Jules Verne, though. Her telescope has an entire backstory, and she has a lifelong relationship with science. Well done.

She’s obviously brave. A lone woman schoolteacher sets off into the Wild West, arriving by train in a town where she knows no one. It’s easy to forget how risky such a move would be back then.

A practical woman who dares to adventure? Seven. It’s her clinical reactions that define her Enneagram. Doc breaks her heart, she’s leaving. New information tells her Doc loves her, she’s returning. Doc has a model train set with a piece labeled “time machine”, she believes him. Doc’s off to travel through time, she follows. She just does the next thing in front of her, no matter how unrealistic and ludicrous. That willingness is very Seven.