Category: Character Enneagrams

BRIDGET JONES, FOUR

I’m tempted to classify this under the Works of Jane Austen category, because we all know that Bridget Jones’ Diary is an admitted derivative of Pride and Prejudice. However, I think it’s become a stand-alone franchise that deserves its own category.

Does Bridget show any character traits that resemble Elizabeth Bennet? I’ll say no. The plot — one man who seems attractive, one repulsive, switch places as the heroine learns more — is the similarity. She has no sisters, no cousins; we have no Bingley, no Lady Catherine. It’s just the love triangle and the mistaken assumptions therein. I’m not bothered that Bridget is a unique person.

I do like the social commentary comparison. For both women, society expects them to be married at their age. They want to be married, too, but not at the expense of their standards. They both have pushy, socially embarrassing mothers, and fathers who are ineffectual.

So, what Enneagram is our Bridget? She has a beloved circle of friends and a party-hardy attitude. (Lol I just went down a rabbit hole of whether it’s party hardy or party hearty. I’ll stick with my first instinct.) Her diary writing suggests she’s not happy with herself. However, she is indomitable. She’s embarrassed, yet she continues to forge ahead. Sliding down a fireman’s pole bottom-first into camera doesn’t keep her from going out on assignment again. She misses the post-trial interview while she’s buying a cigarette, and then nails it. Shaming moments are heaped on her, but she’s still chasing Darcy down the street in her “knickers”. Isn’t all of this exactly what we love about Bridget and why we watch her over and over?

A Four? She seems like a Heart Type. Her exercise is something she does to lose weight, not as a Body Type. Her publishing job is more about the social connection than the intellectual pursuit; not a Head Type. She’s clearly not a Three. I’ll say that her lack of punctuality is what marks her as a Four. A Two would be more concerned about tardiness and what people will think. A Four is going to tend to themselves first (in her case, nursing a hangover), and an obligation to their work schedule would come second.

ROBIN HOOD (1938), NINE

Most iterations of Hood will measure against Errol Flynn’s portrayal in this version. He’s an archetype. The cheerful brashness, the resolute seeking of redress, the swordplay, even the tights — he personifies the basic understanding of Robin Hood.

Is there an Enneagram under all of that?

Nine. Of course. 

He’s very physically competent. He’s the greatest archer. He can almost best Little John with the staff. He rides, he rope swings, etc. This is a Body Type.

Part of the Robin Hood mythos is his reluctance. He’s an aristocrat who can survive the Prince John regency without pain, if he so chooses. Injustice becomes too much for him and he engages in rebellion. All of this is very Nine. Trouble must push at him until he can no longer resist.

This Hood’s Marian, as a Three, is a good match for him. Her vitality will pull him forward when he would otherwise sit back.

I am curious, though, if a Hood with a different Enneagram would work. Must this character be a Nine in all versions of his story? Stick a pin in this one.

MAID MARIAN (1938), THREE

One of the most beautiful women in film, this Marian is my heroine. The costume design (wimples!), the luminous portrayal by Olivia de Havilland, and Marian’s feisty and loyal character make this the best of the Maids.

She’s brave. As a ward she has the protection of King Richard, but he’s not around. Prince John clearly tells her that she’s vulnerable. Until that moment you could argue that Marian isn’t particularly brave. She’s entitled. However, she’s a lone woman in a rough world. Sneaking to the inn to help organize an escape for Robin is above and beyond. She’s afraid for Robin, but not for herself.

Even when she’s potentially just privileged — when she’s “invited” to share a meal with the Merry Men — she sees the poor and how Robin provides for them as pitiable and just. Marian is a “broad”, a great gal who subverts your expectation that she’ll be fussy.

So what Enneagram is she? This Marian is no Body Type. She doesn’t have a penchant for archery, horseback riding, or any outdoor activities. She’s Heart. She knows how to play a room, even a large dining hall with dogs fighting over meat scraps. She’s bold and not intimidated.

Not a Two. She’s too tough. Four or Three? Her vivacity could indicate either, but I’ll say a Three because her emotions are on such an even keel. Her ups and downs only vary slightly from center.

WW84, FOUR

We have a continuation of the Wonder Woman character. Is she still a Nine?

She’s very physical, of course. The thing she values most, her superpowers, are threatened by her wish. In the opening sequence, when she’s a child, she’s physically driven and very Nine-ish, very much the Diana we remember.

To wish for Steve’s return, especially when you don’t know that you’re actually wishing for something that can come true, is a move any Enneagram number could follow. Lost love and broken hearts.

Steve, however, causes problems for a Nine. He magically inhabits another man’s body without his permission or knowledge. I suspect a Nine, a Body Type, would find that egregious. In order to keep Steve, Diana must accept the loss of her prowess. Again, I have doubts that a Nine would roll with this. The failing of her own body would be unacceptable, as would the injustice of using someone else’s body. Either the production team has written a Diana who violates her own character, or they’ve changed Enneagram numbers on her.

What number, if any, would follow these conditions? Well, not a Body Type. Probably not Head, either. Too many rules are broken. Heart is the only possibility. Diana puts everything aside for love.

They’ve made Diana a Four. Her loneliness, her depression, consume her. She barely can generate a friendship with Barbara. Her fighting is peremptory. The only physical joy we see is her flying, which could be attributed to emotion and her memory of Steve. And when she meets the Body Donator — the man who was Steve — she seems nostalgic rather than horrified. It’s about her and her feelings, not a consciousness of him. 

I was sad that more of this movie wasn’t about WW and Cheetah. The change from Nine to Four would be responsible for that. A Nine story would look outward more; the Four story looks inward.

Presumably now that she’s made peace with Steve’s passing she can resume her duties as Wonder Woman. If they’re financed for another movie, will they flip her back to a Nine?

CHEETAH, SIX

We see more of her as Barbara Minerva. Cheetah gets one fight scene in full furry regalia, and she seems like a character that is only rage, not personality, at this point. But, cool name, cool title.

Her alter ego is stereotypically geeky and awkward. She can’t walk in high heels until after the wish. No one listens to her until after the wish. She’s metaphorically invisible. She’s physically vulnerable to harassment. Honestly, these traits are so cliche it’s painful. I, and I don’t think I’m alone, expected more originality from the WW84 team.

This is who we have, though, and this is who Wiig had to play. What did she have to work with?

She had niceness. Everyone who wishes, according to the Rules of the Magic, loses what is most important to them. Max Lord risks his son. This is a tangible fear and an actionable one: I want to keep my son. Pascal is given a playable trait. Wiig is given: I want to keep my pleasant outlook on life.

Which Enneagram number is the nicest? She’s socially unable to connect, so not a Heart Type. The high heel thing suggests she’s not a Body Type. The brainy job suggests she’s a Head Type. Not a Seven — they’re not awkward like that.

A Six, because Wonder Woman, the person she wishes to emulate, is a Nine. Sixes move to Nine in strength. And, I’m surprised to realize, Sixes in their purest form are indeed the nicest number.

MR. POTTER, FIVE

He’s the villain. He’s stingy, cross, and infirm. He’s ambitious. Without George he practically turns Bedford Falls into Vegas. He certainly fits a lot of tropes: greedy capitalist villain, angry physically-challenged villain, crotchety old man villain. If he had a mustache, he’d twirl it.

Underneath all of that stereotyping, do we have an Enneagram? When he realizes that Uncle Billy has left the bank deposit in the newspaper, does he have a brief moment, a flash, of sympathy? (Well, no. He takes an evil glee in knowing a secret.) When he and George are the only two to keep their heads during the bank run, he admires George as more than a competitor. And when he offers George a job, tempting him to sell the Savings and Loan for an easier life, isn’t he almost successful because he knows what pains George the most? Either he’s just the Devil, or he’s a man who has watched George over the years. Does he have — gasp — fatherly feelings toward George?

Let’s make some guesses. Potter physically declines with age, which in the most general and anecdotal way possible suggests a Head Type.

Five, Six, or Seven? Not a Six. He doesn’t seem to have a moral code, a black-and-white view of the world. He’s bad because he’s stingy and cheap, not because some great wrong offends him.

He’s a Five. A Five’s besetting sin is stinginess. They’re just knee-jerk that way. They’re also uncanny in their observation of others. Potter’s understanding of George, of what drives him and of what he fears, fits this. And the Bedford Falls he creates without George is just a mash-up of others’ vices. A Five would become overwhelmed with a bunch of competing desires and step away, letting everyone do as they want. As long as order was maintained a Five would turn hermit and escape.

Also, a Five’s social clumsiness can turn them into a curmudgeon. They want to be liked but other people are so baffling! Potter is a Five pushed to all the extremes.

UNCLE BILLY, TWO

He’s forgetful. When Mr. Bailey dies no one suggests that Uncle Billy could run the Savings and Loan. He’s a beautiful, loyal heart, but a manager he is not.

Uncle Billy loses the deposit — forgets it — because he wants a piece of Mr. Potter. He just has to tell him off, which causes him to leave the money behind, momentarily forgotten. Is this a trait that helps identify his Enneagram? Anyone would want a righteous poke at Potter. Not everyone would let their emotion out until the deposit was secured, though.

And when George yells at him . . . oh, doesn’t it break your heart? It’s because Uncle Billy, in a small way, deserves it. He’s a grown man who can’t be trusted with a grown-up’s responsibility. However, it’s possible that Billy is mentally challenged. No one spells it out, but that’s how he’s played. Without George, in the angel’s version, Billy is committed to a mental institution. No one’s asked him to step up, no one’s depended on his support. On his own he can’t cope.

I’m tempted to say that Uncle Billy has no Enneagram. He has the strings on his fingers, and all else could be attributed to challenge rather than personality. Is he a Head Type? A Body Type? Probably not. As a Heart Type is he a befuddled Two? His sweet enthusiasm, and his love for George, are priceless. 

Actually, that’s the clue that he’s a Two, albeit a challenged Two. Sevens, which is George, tend to collect Twos as precious sidekicks. (Notice that Clarence is also a Two.) Without George, Billy has no purpose or direction.

MARY HATCH, NULL

She’s determined. She wants George and she pursues any opening he gives her. She’s organized. Very. Ridiculously so. She leads the local USO while refinishing an old house and raising her children.

All of the community facets –such as parties for Savings and Loan customers — are a joy to her. When George needs help she calls so many people, local and further away, because she’s established those social connections over the years. Everyone loves Mary.

What Enneagram is she? Her effortless ability to juggle so much suggests a Three. Her belovedness suggests a Two. Her organizational skills could also suggest a One.

Is Mary more of a perfect-wife archetype than an actual character? Does she have any flaws? The honeymoon dinner with the chicken rotisserie that uses the turntable is wonderful, but possibly too clever.

Is Mary so Not Me that I have trouble accepting her as believable? Haha, maybe. This is George’s story, though, through and through. He arcs, he faces a true crisis. Mary is a set piece. All of George’s woes belong solely to him because what man could complain about this wife? She’s designed to be perfect.

Hmph. I’m disappointed.

I’m also relieved, because she’s a high bar to face every Christmas season. If she’s not an actual character I don’t need to measure myself against her. Whew.

CLARENCE, TWO

He’s an angel. He’s an inept angel. In the hierarchy of heavenly beings, he’s on the bottom rung.

The more I think about Clarence, the more he bugs me. He’s so twee! As a trope subverter — dufus angel — he feels very contrived. Of course this bumbling fool will find a way to save George’s soul. No competent angel could figure out how to show George the purpose of his life? All the wise angels were busy? And heaven is ordered like a first-grade classroom, with wings passed out like gold stars for getting the math quiz correct?

Whew, I had no idea poor Clarence pushed my outrage button like this!

He connects with George on an emotional and sympathetic level. Heart Type. Not a Three, obviously. (A Three on the bottom rung of the angel ladder? Puh-leaze.) He’s too gentle with George to be a Four.

Two. He has that oddball quality. Heaven is happy to have him, they just can’t figure out what to do with him yet. To devise a plan that shows such heartbreak to not only the family but the entire town, is not something a Head or Body would’ve thought up. Not in this way. The social fabric of Bedford Falls is ruined by George’s absence. That’s very Heart.

GEORGE BAILEY, SEVEN

When I was younger I couldn’t stand to watch George beaten down by life and denied his dreams. Duty keeps him from adventure. Self-sacrifice locks him at home while his brother pursues the world. From a certain perspective this is a very painful story.

What kind of a man takes a job he hates in order to fulfill his father’s promises, marries a woman he loves although she prefers a lifestyle that repulses him, and turns to thoughts of suicide when life wearies him, as all life does?

I’m immediately distracted by tall, lanky Jimmy Stewart, who fits a specific body build. Is George a Four or a Five? I doubt it. He’s not funny enough or contemplative enough for either.

Is George a Seven? Someone who dreams big is more heartbreaking than a practical man. A One, a Three — these heroes would bring a completely different, more encouraging story. Not a Six; a Six expects to be disappointed by life. Not a Two; George sees his house as a millstone rather than a quirky mansion.

Seven, Eight, or Nine? He does save his brother’s life on the ice. Any of these numbers could accomplish this. In every other way he shows no aptitude for physical activity, so I’ll say he’s not a Body Type.

Seven it is. What other number could wish for something more, be the kind of person who could achieve steamer-trunk adventures, and yet honors his commitments? His heroism is quiet, the kind that real men can attain, but it makes for depressing storytelling.