EDDARD STARK (TV), SIX

He’s honest and doomed. He gets all the best scenes: with Baratheon he mysteriously reflects on his dead sister and his own past, with Jon he mysteriously hints at the truth about Jon’s mother, with Cat he parts from her in King’s Landing in a sincere way that breaks your heart if you know what’s coming.

Of course he’s lovable. He brings Arya the dancing master. He takes responsibility with honor when trouble comes, executing Sansa’s direwolf himself as a creature of the North, of his people. And his insistence, regardless of the obvious danger, in pursuing the truth, in investigating Arryn’s death, is admirable. He’s so honest he doesn’t stand a chance.

He’s such a Six, the ultimate trooper. He takes honor and rides it into the ground. In prison Varys visits, trying to persuade him to bend the knee. What about the realm? What about your children? He says he must stick to what’s right. Joffrey is not the blood heir. The one thing Ned’s good at, being Robert’s friend, is ruined when he changes the king’s last official declaration.

Ned’s final moment is an awkward confession. I don’t believe his character would do this and we aren’t shown his decision moment that would explain this. It seems a manipulation, a heart pull on the audience, to trick us into thinking that Ned could eke out survival. Clumsy writing, though.

I’ll have more complete thoughts about Book Ned. During this re-watch/re-read I’ve grown to despise a character I used to admire. It’s been quite interesting.

MARK DARCY, SIX

What a good sport Colin Firth is. Not only is he playing the same character twice, once as sincere and once as a derivation, but since his version of Pride and Prejudice is so beloved, he’s also playing a reaction to himself. How complicated! He’s a spoof played absolutely straight and with charm. Well done.

Bridget was nothing like Elizabeth. Darcy, though, besides sharing the name reflects many character traits, too. He’s aloof, successful, and a “catch”, to put it in old school terminology. At first he’s portrayed in a bad light, and then his character is revealed to be excellent.

So, if Fitzwilliam Darcy is a Five, what is Mark?

This Darcy is not judgmental. He likes Bridget “just as she is”. When Bridget’s birthday dinner falls apart, Darcy jumps in and whips up an omelette. He’s handy, and isn’t too stuffy to help. He’s a bit pushed around by Natasha, though. All of these traits are the opposite of Fitzwilliam. I’d say this Darcy is not a Five. (My goodness, I should officially look at our P&P Darcy just to make sure about this!)

He’s a Six.

The world is clearly very black and white to Mark. His legal case is righteous. Cleaver’s behavior with his wife is unforgivable.

Hahaha! I just thought of the reindeer jumper. How Six-ish to be completely unselfconscious while wearing a hideously ugly garment.

Bridget, possibly because of the paddling pool incident, is classified in Mark’s view as okay, even though she takes questionable actions. She’s been filed and catalogued, and that’s where she lives.

I don’t feel one hundred per cent sure of this call. I keep getting distracted by Firth’s real life build — decidedly un-Six. He’s plausible, though, and we’ll leave it at that.

CHEETAH, SIX

We see more of her as Barbara Minerva. Cheetah gets one fight scene in full furry regalia, and she seems like a character that is only rage, not personality, at this point. But, cool name, cool title.

Her alter ego is stereotypically geeky and awkward. She can’t walk in high heels until after the wish. No one listens to her until after the wish. She’s metaphorically invisible. She’s physically vulnerable to harassment. Honestly, these traits are so cliche it’s painful. I, and I don’t think I’m alone, expected more originality from the WW84 team.

This is who we have, though, and this is who Wiig had to play. What did she have to work with?

She had niceness. Everyone who wishes, according to the Rules of the Magic, loses what is most important to them. Max Lord risks his son. This is a tangible fear and an actionable one: I want to keep my son. Pascal is given a playable trait. Wiig is given: I want to keep my pleasant outlook on life.

Which Enneagram number is the nicest? She’s socially unable to connect, so not a Heart Type. The high heel thing suggests she’s not a Body Type. The brainy job suggests she’s a Head Type. Not a Seven — they’re not awkward like that.

A Six, because Wonder Woman, the person she wishes to emulate, is a Nine. Sixes move to Nine in strength. And, I’m surprised to realize, Sixes in their purest form are indeed the nicest number.

HERMEY, SIX

“I want to be . . . a dentist.” After years of watching Hermey I accept his reality, but think about how weird this was the first time you heard it. The North Pole and dentistry seem so unrelated. Sweets and Santa, though: the writer’s thought process is clever. Of course the land of sugar has tooth decay. I’m impressed.

You’ve written an outcast, someone as misplaced as Rudolph. That’s lovely. And he’s a good egg, a solid friend. And when they must go against the Abominable, Hermey is brave (oink oink) and competent. He’s also very resolute. The Head Elf is stern and intimidating, yet Hermey sticks to his guns.

Great character! What is he?

A Six. This is why he and Rudolph are a good partnership. The world is black and white to Hermey. He could go along to get along. The elf gig is good. His principles, though, his determination, won’t let him acquiesce. Also, his bravery is tied to helping his friends. A Six is so loyal that their natural fear will be put aside if someone needs them.

RACHEL, SIX

Aw, she doesn’t even get a last name. Just Rachel, but, oh, what a Rachel. She’s immediately charismatic.

I like how Rachel stands up for herself: “I thought you were . . . blank.” Her hurt at being duped is honest yet not raging. And she cuts him off until he proves at the talent show with Marcus that he’s changed.

What number has that fortitude? 

A Three, possibly. Not a Body Type at all. None of her reactions fit those profiles. Not a Four or Two, which leads me to conclude she’s not a Heart Type either, so not a Three. She’s too calm when confronted with emotional pain.

Head Type. Not a Five, who would never put up with Allie the son’s behavior. Fives move to Eight in strength and would blow his snottiness out of the water. Also not a Seven, who really has no time for that nonsense. Sevens have important work to do.

A Six? Her putdown of Will is so subtle and witty. When she decides she’s done with him, she’s really done. No waffling: he must demonstrate true character alteration and growth. A black-and-white judgment, no gray.

Interesting. I like it.

VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN, SIX

It’s funny to me that when I think of Frankenstein and its characters I go first to Mel Brooks’ comedic take, Young Frankenstein. The novel, the Boris Karloff movie, even later versions such as Kenneth Branagh’s, are secondary in my memory.

And so, in this post, I will try to isolate the original character, Victor. His hubris is one of the main themes. The advances of science mattered more than moral considerations. He is the protagonist, his is the arc, and he falls hard along the way.

What Enneagram number does that make him? First, I would say not a Heart Type. The story is particularly cruel regarding his treatment of the Monster. God the Father loves us, no matter what. Victor the Father cannot love his creation, even though he should. This is a heartless act.

He pursues the Monster to the ends of the earth, dying in an ice-bound ship. What number has the dedication, the fanaticism, to go to these limits? Ah. What about a Six? Their sense of right and wrong, white and black, will carry them through many trials. It’s also what got Victor in trouble in the first place. Once he’d convinced himself he had an obligation to dig up dead bodies and stitch them together, moral qualms were ignored. His sense of duty carries him all the way to the end and requires he tell his story to the narrator, no matter how embarrassing or ugly for himself.

ELLEN RIPLEY, SIX

She’s one of the greatest heroines ever put on film. Strong and vulnerable, active and contemplative, she’s encompasses everything we’d all want to be if thrown in the same situation. So, what’s Ripley’s Enneagram number?

Just the first two movies, though. Her character is consistent within that parameter.

She’s a BIG rule follower. If the Nostromo had listened to her about quarantine the movies wouldn’t even exist. She’s very frustrated with The Company for looking the other way about the xenomorph in order to pursue profit. Justice. Ripley wants it.

She doesn’t particularly strike me as a Body Type. Hicks trains her in the pulse rifle, and she learns well, but physical battle is not her go-to intuition. I’m going to say no to the Heart Type, too. Ripley cares deeply about people, but emotion is not a moving force for her. She’s fairly disengaged.

Head Type.

Sigourney Weaver is a specific build — tall, slender. None of these traits match a Woman Head Type, so it’s difficult to pinpoint which Ripley is. Five, Six, or Seven? All of these are average height or shorter in real life.

Ah. Six. I want to say Six because of the justice trait, but it’s actually the fear trait that gives the clue. Anyone could and would be afraid to return to xenomorph country, but for a delicious plot and character arc a writer needs to make their heroine confront the thing she least wants to do. A Six, of all the Head Types, will be impacted by fear and worry. Getting Ripley back into space is one of the great plot turns. It’s what makes her arc so wonderful, and what gives Weaver so much to play.

It’s also a bit of an anti-action hero Enneagram choice. Good stuff.

ELIZABETH BENNET, SIX

One of the greatest heroines ever created. She is flawed, which gives her a chance to arc. Because she assumes that Mr. Darcy is the flawed one, the plot also goes through a nice reversal, allowing Elizabeth to change and grow even more. Many film portrayals of Lizzie exist.

Trying to decide her Enneagram number, though, might be tricky. She’s an odd mix. First, she loves Jane unreservedly. She is loyal to her other sisters, but not always kind. She’s quite judgmental of her dear friend Charlotte. And she absolutely rips into Darcy. There’s a mash-up of stinginess and generosity, scorn and humility. Pride and prejudice, of course, and none of us is sure which noun fits which character better at any given time.

Her willingness to judge, followed by her loyalty when she sets her mind to it, suggests a Six. Certainly she’s no Heart Type. As perfect a creature as Jane would drive Elizabeth to envy if she were.

She does like a walk, though. She’s refreshed and rejuvenated by the activity. Nature can beguile anyone, but does this mean she’s a Body Type? She’s never portrayed as a small, energetic woman, although a One is quite possibly a match with her other characteristics. Her wit is also persuasive as a One trait.

When I recorded my read-aloud of “Pride and Prejudice” I characterized in my mind Elizabeth as a Six. Darcy seems so Five-ish (which is how I read him) that the Head Type conflict felt right to me.

And what if she’s an Eight, or a Seven? Any of these choices by an actor/director could work and become interesting. I would watch any of these versions.

The key, I think, is how set Elizabeth’s mind is and how deeply humiliated she is to learn she’s been completely wrong. Shame. I’m going to stick by my diagnosis of a Six because of this. I don’t know if any other Enneagram number would be so wrenched by error, and yet so willing to admit it and correct course.

HERMIONE GRANGER, SIX

A stickler for the rules and the boundaries of right and wrong. Organized and prepared. Willing to champion a cause and brave enough to lead others in it.

Is Hermione a Six, or is she a One?

These two numbers are very similar. Build-wise, women are slight, possibly wiry, and not tall. Both numbers have quick wits and sharp tongues. Hermione’s bookishness could point more clearly toward Six, a Head Type, but Ones also enjoy sharing knowledge and insight.

However, a One is a Body Type, and that leads us to the definitive answer.

If Hermione were a One, she’d play quidditch. 

Her disinterest in the game (or lack of physical prowess in it) makes her a Six.

T2’S JOHN CONNOR, SIX

A child, even a teenaged one, can be difficult to pinpoint on the Enneagram scale, partly because they are physically undeveloped. What does this character tell us?

He’s a rebel. He doesn’t function well in foster care.

Regardless of that, he cares deeply about people in his life, including the foster parents. He wants no harm to come to them.

He wants no harm to come to anyone. He stops the Terminator from killing random strangers. John’s ethic of life is very strong, even though he can’t fully explain why.

He rescues his mom, even though logic says this is a dangerous choice.

This deeply ingrained sense of right and wrong, and the determination to follow it no matter what, says Six. If you think of John Connor, leader of humanity’s survival, in the future, Six-ness suits him. The level of belief, conviction, and authority a Six carries are what people will need when life hangs by a thread.

Also, the Six paranoia is probably what will lead him to keep dogs as cyborg sniffers.