ROSE WEISSMAN, TWO

When Rose escapes to Paris I fell in love with her. In Season 1 she’s a respectable and predictable mother, wife, and grandmother. Midge and Joel caretake their own children less than she does. The two kids sleep over in her apartment while the couple goes out club hopping as if they’re single. Rose is solid and stylish. Her almost invisibility sets up her Season 2 renewal, which is really fresh writing. She comes back from France and begins auditing classes at Columbia.

My God, I genuinely can’t remember what Rose does after that. She visits her family in Oklahoma! That’s weird. They come from oil money, and Rose wants to increase her allowance now that Abe quit his job and lost their apartment. Instead, she resents her brothers’ misogyny and refuses any money. Meanwhile, Abe has let beatniks overrun their home for the time they have left.

Then she and Abe move in with Joel’s parents. (The Maisels are fabulously written and played. So sharp!) Do they suffer there through all of Season 3? I think so. Then in Season 4 they move in with Midge back at their original apartment building.

I mean, honestly, what is that? So much character promise for Abe (which I discussed on his page) and Rose vanishes. Where is that plucky woman who survived a mid-life crisis? Where is that curious person who found a reinvigorated relationship with her husband? Oh, that’s right! She starts a career as a marriage broker! She has a intuitive instinct for matching people, so she’s encouraged to go professional with it. And they need an income, because Abe is still pretending to be an irresponsible teen.

Alright, enough of my complaining. What is Rose? She connects with people. That’s why she’s good at matchmaking. It’s more than observation, as a Five would excel at. She has a natural gift, a way of understanding others. I want to say Heart Type. She’s no Three. The way her family walks over her is something a Three would never support. Two or Four? She’s too undramatic for a Four. I guess that makes her a Two.

Her role as the perfect homemaker fits that. Her sudden fling to Paris is a fun Two slide to the strength number, Four. It’s selfish, and it can’t last, but it’s a wonderful free time. And then her personality is subsumed under Abe’s crazy breakdown. That’s also Two, to not complain when your family is taking advantage. It’s all there, and it’s a solid Enneagram, but . . . sigh, I think Rose could’ve had so much more.

JOEL MAISEL, TWO

As Midge’s husband, Joel is barely tolerable. His character is predictable and pitiful. When he separates from her, though, and begins his own career as a club owner, he becomes much more intriguing.

He’s an unhappy mid-level manager married to someone more clever than he during the first season. At that point he’s probably a Null. He doesn’t do anything fresh or distinct. Later, though, we can see an Enneagram come through.

The show makes a point of stressing his ease at instigating a marriage separation. Midge is socially screwed, and Joel is unaffected. He can walk away with no repercussions. However, he’s a good father, responsible and loving, in an era that didn’t expect such behavior. (This is the first non-Null thing he does.)

Later, he also begins to connect to his father’s business in the garment industry. Now he wants to sharpen the finances and strengthen the family factory. He’s a dedicated worker and a non-fussy, jump-in kind of guy.

When he opens his own nightclub, he starts a relationship with a woman who suits him much better than Midge ever did. He’s striving, he’s a good egg (the club comes with a surprise gambling hall in the basement), and he’s effective. Susie brings him Midge’s earnings to manage because he’s so reliable. All of this money competence suggests a One, but he’s completely lacking in a One’s characteristic wit.

So, where do we end up? He’s an Envy person. Midge’s success ate him alive for a while. He’s not a Three, though. He spent too much time at the beginning knowing nothing about what he wanted from life. You know, he might be a poorly-written Two! He collects jokes. At first, he steals them from Bob Newhart’s comedy album. Then that side of his personality drops from the story. Then he opens a club where he can produce and encourage lively acts.

It’s a stab, I admit it. Joel’s character could’ve been streamlined to make him a solid Two. It would’ve been hilarious! We’ll see where he goes in the next season. He has potential, but so far he’s not a solid Enneagram. He’s trying, though, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

LADY EDITH CRAWLEY, TWO

Edith has a lifelong antagonism with her sister Mary. Does her Enneagram number provide a clue why?

Ah, she’s very much an Envy person. Mary is mean to her, but Edith wants more than niceness. She wants Mary’s position of respect in the family. Mary is unflappable, while Edith is gently injured by every unkindness. Command comes easy to Mary (because she’s the eldest, and an Eight); Edith struggles to find her place.

Of course she’s a Two. That’s why she and Mary are at loggerheads. They’re each other’s strength and weakness number. It’s also why Edith can never get ahead. A Two is supportive and caring — an easy person to take for granted, especially when an Eight sucks all the oxygen from the room.

And Edith has a moment when she does something cruel. She informs the Turkish embassy, solely for revenge, of her own sister’s indiscretion with their diplomat. When a Two slides into weakness, that Eight quality dominates in a poisonous way. Edith is very unlikable in that sequence, but now we see she’s true to her character. We just prefer her as the nice, dependable Two person.

PHIL COULSON, TWO

Clark Gregg parlayed a bureaucratic bit part in the Marvel Universe into a complex, beloved leader with his own agency. Coulson’s appeal lies in his light-hearted approach. He’s no fool — crises are serious business — but his glass-half-full view of problems and people is just so wonderful to spend time with. His irony and belief in the cause are a charming mix.

Well, after all that I go to Three. What other number can overcome a minion role to become the star of the show, lol?

He’s not a Body Type. Surrounding him are super-powered individuals, and he always engages on a social level. He’s a curious person, but he doesn’t wield a Head Type view of the world. 

He’s very Heart. Alright, though, what about a Two? His car Lola is just one of a number of mementos he keeps. His office is cluttered with antiques. Although we don’t get a tour of all his memorabilia, it’s always in the background of his desk scenes. I could even say that his job, to organize and assemble Inhumans, is a kind of collection.

What makes him so lovable is that the world overwhelms him at times. He’s not a Nick Fury, who micromanages everything. Those wide-eyed moments when Coulson is wracked with feeling — whether it’s anguish or joy — are what point to a Two. Under all the SHIELD paraphernalia, he’s a kind soul trying to make the world a gentler place.

MANTIS, TWO

She’s an empath with the ability to calm minds. She’s also a bit of a slave, or someone too frightened to leave a powerful boss. We like her, especially after Drax calls her ugly. She isn’t, although her eyes are unsettling, and she’s so wounded by his casual honesty that we sympathize.

I jump immediately to Two. Her social concern for others, her ability to sense their feelings, is like a Heart Type superpower. I’m also led, though, by her pain. A Two in weakness will not stand up for themselves. Their gentleness can lead to them becoming victims, especially of bullies like Ego. She breaks my heart she’s so vulnerable and open. I hope Marvel gives her more than a cursory character treatment.

PETER QUILL, TWO

He’s an orphan. As far as he knows, his father is a deadbeat dad (whatever the romantic stories his mom spins) and his mother dies while he’s young. It isn’t until the second Guardians that Quill comes to see Yondu as a father figure. Much of Quill’s character is defined by this. He wants a family, and he’s very forgiving of someone like Rocket, who’s so hard-shelled he can be impossible to know.

I do think that his openness to life, regardless of his childhood loss, is part of his Enneagram. Different numbers would react differently to being an orphan. He’s still so willing to engage and believe in people. When he gets to Ego, he believes a little too much and too easily.

So I want to say Heart Type. His inability to form a plan is a running joke in the Avengers. (Not a Head Type.) He’s physically competent, but it doesn’t define him. (Not a Body Type.) He’s no Three; his luck is too haphazard. And he’s not acerbic enough to be a Four. 

Two. He collects songs, of course.

WYLAN VAN ECK, TWO

Unless you’ve read the books you won’t know Wylan, but he’s a wonderful character: the regular guy surrounded by the thieves. His outrage or confusion or ignorance stands in for us the audience, and he’s the vehicle for explanations. Over time we see his traumas, and we develop a deeper affection for and understanding of him. Other characters have pain from tragedy: parental death, slavery. His pain is inflicted by his father, and it’s unbelievably cruel.

My first instinct is to place him as a Head Type. He’s not physical, and he’s not socially adept. But wait. What about a Two? He’s incredibly awkward with his father, even before the abuse starts, and the rejection forms a lot of his character. Are these the actions of a tender heart that’s been damaged? Are his bombs a kind of Two collection?

He’s not a Seven. The underworld isn’t intriguing enough to him for that. He’s not worried or hesitant enough to be a Six. And the odds that he’s a Five when Kaz is one are too long. They don’t have the nerdy impersonal relationship Fives would have.

His gentle sweetness, and his perseverance in the face of deep betrayal, lead me to Two. 

DOC BROWN, TWO

The very first opening moments of the trilogy tell us Doc Brown’s Enneagram number. Look at all those clocks! He’s not just repairing or tinkering or inventing, he’s collecting. The filmmakers may have been winking at us about the theme of time in BttF, but they’ve also given us key information about Doc’s character. As a Caractacus Potts type, Doc could be a Seven or an Eight, but this collection indicates he’s a Two. 

When he goes into the future, what does he do? He looks up people he cares about — Marty — to see how they’re doing. When Future Marty is a mess, Doc ropes Current Marty into a time travel event in order to help him. Very Heart Type.

It’s possible this is what makes his love for Clara in the third movie so sweet. He’s been solely focused on science, and as a collector he’s had much to satisfy him. His friendship with Marty is dear to him and has sustained him. The way his heart opens to Clara, though, against his will even, is charming. How else do you make someone not classically handsome the hero of a love story? The filmmakers and Lloyd tapped into something hidden but essential in Doc. This twist — the last film is a romance! — works so well because he’s a Heart Type.

SAMWELL TARLY, TWO

What sort of man proclaims himself a coward?

As a child Sam loved books, kittens, dancing, and cakes. His father hired men to make a knight of him, which failed. Eventually it’s take The Black or die. As eldest Sam is the heir. The only way the younger son, the preferred son, can ascend is if Sam is gone. How many sons over the years have been forced to join the Night’s Watch as a way to manipulate the inheritance?

His backstory is very pitiable. He’s an ugly duckling at the Night’s Watch. He’s so loyal he’ll take his vow before the Old Gods with Jon. And he’s quite wise. When Jon freaks out over being assigned to the stewards rather than the rangers it’s Sam who brings the facts. Jon is dense and Sam gives him a depth and breadth to his understanding. A true counsellor.

Both versions of Sam, Book and TV, are the same Enneagram. Hilariously, it’s the kittens and cakes that define him. He’s a Two and these are his childhood collections. It’s not his lack of physical mastery that is the key to understanding him, it’s his kindness. Another clue is his size. Twos more than any other number can be large. Their gentleness makes them vulnerable to abuse, as we see with Sam, and in defense they disappear into their bodies. 

A Two is a great choice for a man of The Watch who must study and pursue book-learning. We all love Sam, right? The dichotomy of someone who collects — potions, crows, information — while finding his calling at a battle station is just lovely.

DARBY O’GILL, TWO

The man who has truck with the wee folk. Don’t be puttin’ the come-hither on me, now. Who doesn’t want to watch this Disney classic and speak in fake Irish?

Darby is no con man. He genuinely can see and negotiate with the King of the Leprechauns. However, Darby is so intrigued by the fairy world that he seems like a flake. He doesn’t do much work, he’s too busy scheming for his three wishes. He procrastinates and socializes. The only time he jumps is when the priest needs someone to retrieve the church bell.

Ah, Darby is such a Two. His collection — an identifying feature of a Man Two — is leprechaun lore. His knowledge and sharing of it are what make him so beloved at the pub.

He has a kind heart but he’s no businessman. He putters, trimming the hedge here, poaching a rabbit there. Service to the Church, though, moves him. The notion that the music of the bell belongs to him makes him tear up. 

A fixture of the community, both human and fairy. Two.