Episode 9

It’s Christmas at Downton Abbey! Beautiful dresses and heartfelt acting compete with an overly melodramatic, season-ending plot. I love the characters, the setting, and the time period, but I don’t know if I’ll write up future seasons. The disordered structure of the series takes all the fun out of examining it.

ONE

Roll credits and theme music while a truck carrying a pine tree drives toward Downton. When the truck arrives at the front door, Thomas waves workers forward to untie the tree. Inside the house, Daisy totes cleaning supplies from room to room. She walks past the tree, now set up in the front hall, as O’Brien helps decorate it. People wander through and admire the tree. Now Cousin Rosamund and her lady’s maid approach the house in a chauffeured car, to be greeted by Mary. The Dowager pokes around the Christmas cards, tutting at whatever’s written.

End credits. Christmas 1919.

TWO

The family is dressed formally, and giving out presents. Mary hands Anna a small box and Cora says they all prayed for Bates today in church. As each servant is given a present from the family, filing up one by one, Hughes talks to Anna. “I wish I could tell you not to worry.”

Cut to downstairs where the servants enjoy the meal at their own table. Crackers pop, hats are worn, and cheering goes up. Rosamund’s maid makes a cheeky question about Bates, “the murderer”.

Upstairs, Sir Richard complains about the lack of service. Downstairs has their luncheon, the family has dinner, Mary says. It’s Christmas Day. Well, that’s not how he’ll run his household. Basically, the family exchanges gifts and barbs in equal measure.

THREE

In the hallway Mary comes upon Matthew hanging up the phone. Mr. Swire (Lavinia’s father) is ill — dying, and Matthew’s on his way in the morning. They discuss Bates’ trial. Some of the servants will need to testify.

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Hide and Seek

Again, let me remind you that Hawkeye is a newly-dropped series, and spoilers abound in my breakdown. Critical Notes, as always, follow.

LEFTOVER NINE

We begin with last episode’s cliffhanger. Clint grabs Kate in the Ronin suit and unmasks her.

ONE

They introduce themselves and leave the alley. Run credit logo.

TWO

Walking down the street now, Kate peppers him with questions. Are you assessing threats? She’s clearly star-struck. Promoting herself a little, she calls herself the world’s greatest archer.

They’ve arrived at her large apartment over the pizza shop. When they enter, the dog greets them. It’s not her dog, she corrects Clint, and she inherited the place. Throughout, he is surprised and impressed by nothing.

THREE

(There is no Three.)

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The Snowball Effect

Nothing but love for this episode, I promise.

ONE

Bubble-wipe to a real life iceberg scene. Over wintery landscapes, the French narrator speaks of the mighty iceberg that can sometimes stray into warmer waters. 

TWO

Cut to the three-palm island as an iceberg floats in. Now we look at Bikini Bottom, that cozy community, as snow begins to fall.

THREE

Continued scenes of snow-covered undersea buildings as the weather fish, wearing a trapper hat, reports on the winter blanket covering Jellyfish Fields and the neighborhoods.

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Previously On

LEFTOVER NINE

We start with “Previously on Wandavision”, but this isn’t a normal recap of last week’s episode. (I don’t think. You never know when you’re being trolled on this show, lol.) A news report lays out “Devastation in Sokovia”, and then gives us background on the Maximoff twins, including footage from Marvel movies. Hayward speaks during the report, detailing that Wanda stole Vision’s body, and we see Darcy tell Vision that Wanda killed him. That we know from last week, but now we have actual movie footage that shows the event. Thanos pulls the infinity stone from Vision’s head. 

ONE

The recap ends with Agatha’s introduction of herself in the basement, also seen last week.

Roll logo montage.

TWO

Cut to torches and a title screen: Salem, Massachusetts, 1693.

Agatha is dragged through the woods by women in cloaks. Forming a circle, they place Agatha on a scaffold in the center and restrain her with magical bonds. An older angry woman asks Agatha if she’s a witch. Yes, she says. You’ve betrayed your coven, says Angry. You stole knowledge and practiced dark magic. At first Agatha looks cowed, but it’s an act. “Help me, mother,” she calls to Angry. She turns the power of the bonds back on the witches’ circle and drains their life away. Angry blasts her with a super beam, but Agatha drains her, too. Reaching down to her mother’s skeleton, Agatha unpins a brooch from the bodice and floats up and away.

THREE

(There is no Three.)

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Breaking the Fourth Wall

On my first watch, this is the episode that started lowering my opinion of Wandavision. Watching it again, I dislike it even more. Let’s see if its structure is partly responsible.

(Again, I don’t recognize the homage of this episode. I’m just not up-to-date on certain eras of television programs!)

ONE

Light music as Wanda sleeps in bed. She reaches over to Vision’s empty side. Now she talks to the camera while sitting in a chair and wearing a robe. It’s like an interview and/or like therapy. She’s in bed again (still) when the boys come to her and say their game is freaking out. We see them using controllers, which change to joysticks, and then to a deck of cards. Completely under the covers, Wanda says she’s resting her eyes. Back to her interview, she decides to have a day to herself.

When she pushes back the bedcovers, she reveals her Halloween costume. Noticing she’s still in yesterday’s clothes, she cringes. In the kitchen, now in her robe, she takes an almond milk from the fridge and Sugar Snaps from the cupboard. The milk changes to a carton of whole, and then to a glass bottle of milk. Eating her cereal, she stares at it.

Interviewing, Wanda says she’s not sure why things keep changing. Credits for this show begin, with “Wanda” written on everything. The music is boppy and upbeat. It ends with all the “Wanda” titles finally joined by a “Vision”.

An overlay identifies “SWORD temporary retreat eight miles outside Westview.” Director Hayward and another officer speak. The broadcast signal is gone, they say. We don’t know SWORD’s plans, but whatever it is launches today. Behind them is a very large Hex wall.

TWO

Cut to Vision, still in costume, lying on the grass. This is the last place we saw him. Waking, he is surrounded by the circus. “You the new clown?” the strong man asks. Chained to the front of a truck is Darcy. You don’t remember me from last night, Vision asks her. She breaks free (fake chains) and walks away from him, thinking him a creep trying to hit on her.

Wanda asks the kids, “Have you seen your dad?” One of the twins mentions Pietro’s comment about rekilling Vision. He’s not your uncle, replies Wanda. Throughout is a sarcastic tone with clever patter. (It’s obnoxious, actually.) I have no answers, Wanda shrugs. She settles herself on the couch and takes the remote from the boys.

THREE

In comes Agnes, who quickly assesses the mood and offers to take the boys. Wanda is very grateful. “Let’s go, I won’t bite,” Agnes says. 

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The Enneagram of Dragon’s Dogma

The gameplay is concluded, and now I want to look back at all my posts and try to assemble an Enneagram from the plot.

Caveat One: This is a videogame, and a rudimentary story has proven sufficient for the genre. Will Dogma show itself to have more?

Caveat Two: This story never ends. For me, that’s what makes this one of the best games. A cycle of reincarnation, not just “New Game” mechanics, is so unique. The Nine will always come back to the One, spiralling in place. And yet, we also spiral upward, not restarting but building from the last run, experiencing the same story but interacting with more experience, skill, and gear.

Let’s play.

ONE

From nowhere and with no warning, a humongous dragon lands on the beach of a fishing village and destroys things. We, the untested Arisen, pick up a sword and battle something so large, we’re the size of its toe.

As we lie in the surf, knocked aside, the dragon plucks our heart from our chest. It balances on his talon, beating. Then he swallows it and flies away.

We awaken in a hut. Our chest is brutally scarred and we have no heartbeat. Quina wants to help us, but at this point none of us knows anything.

On the way out the gate we’re greeted by a Pawn, our first. He explains to us about Riftstones and helps us prove ourselves. Afterward, a voice from the Rift offers us our own Pawn and allows us to now hire two others for adventuring.

TWO

A foreign warrior, Mercedes, invites us to rest. We are awakened by an attacking hydra. After we cleave off a head, it slides away. (To where? From where? Shh.) Mercedes, impressed, arranges for us to join her on a trip to the capital city, Gran Soren. We will show the Duke this beast head.

Meanwhile, Quina has gone missing. We track her down in the Witchwood. Hoping to learn more about the dragon, she seeks the local witch there. Instead we find the granddaughter, a young woman who hasn’t been taught wyrm lore. She does mention, though, that the Church knows about such things. Quina now has a plan.

We escort the hydra head to Gran Soren. While Mercedes leaves to inform the Duke, the Pawn Guild is suggested to us. We find the room and the guildmaster, who asks us to investigate a strange occurrence in the caverns beneath the guild. 

THREE

We descend into the Everfall, spiraling downward until we arrive at the bottom. There, we see an unearthly glow. When we touch the ground, snaky worms erupt and attack us. We run back up, worms emerging and chasing us. 

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Shore Leave

Although this episode is unbearably painful now, I remember it fondly. It’s actually a 1960’s scifi presentation of what we’ve come to call gaming, a virtual world designed for amusement.

ONE

The Enterprise orbits a beautiful green and blue planet.

Spock crosses the bridge to bring the camera in on Kirk in his chair. A pretty woman, probably a yeoman, stands nearby. When Kirk complains of a back kink, the woman massages it. Raising an eyebrow, Spock steps away and Kirk realizes who’s rubbing him. (Hey! Where’s our Basket Head?)

TWO

This awkward bit allows Spock to comment that everyone — except him, of course — is badly in need of rest. Kirk rubs his eyes and leaves the bridge, asking for McCoy’s report to be sent to his quarters.

Cut to a lovely woods scene. (It’s Southern California, lol, but it looks fairly green.) McCoy and Sulu, smiling, stroll next to some pampas grass. They are part of a scouting party, ready to approve this planet for shore leave. It’s like something out of Alice in Wonderland, McCoy says. Sulu wanders off to gather biological samples. When McCoy turns away, he faces a large white rabbit. It speaks its lines, checking its watch, and — hahaha! — trots away, some poor human in a fuzzy, oversized suit. And now here comes a girl in blue, chasing after it. 

THREE

McCoy doubletakes and yells for Sulu. Cartoon music plays over. Seeing nothing, Sulu holds McCoy’s shoulder. “What is it, doc?” he says as the camera pushes in on Bones’ disbelieving face.

Roll credits.

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Avatar Day

If it lacked a couple of key beats, this is an episode I’d almost skip watching. It’s not bad, just . . . not thrilling.

ONE

The team, asleep, camps in the woods. When they’re surrounded, everyone grabs their important stuff except Sokka. His boomerang left behind, he’s told there’s no time to retrieve it.

TWO

He laments his lost identity. Aang has his tattoo arrow, Katara her hair loopies, and now Sokka’s just ponytail guy. 

When they go to pay for something in town, they’re told, “Have a nice Avatar Day.” This cliffside earth kingdom village holds a festival. A giant Kyoshi statue, a rolling Roku statue, food . . . Aang smiles at it all. Then the villagers torch the statues and cry, “Down with the Avatar!”

THREE

The Blue Spirit, in some village, steals food. After hiding the mask in the forest, Zuko returns to Iroh in a cave. They eat, Iroh unaware of what Zuko’s done.

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