Screenwriting, Lyrics, Art, and Investigation
Breakdown of television episodes using the Storytelling Enneagram formula.
ONE
The French narrator establishes Mrs. Puff’s Boating School. Fish students drool and sleep while Spongebob takes diligent notes.
TWO
But, wait. It’s time to pick the Hall Monitor of the day. Spongebob looks up with wide eyes.
THREE
Mrs. Puff looks over her checklist. With a mark next to nearly every name, only one student hasn’t been Hall Monitor. Haha, you know whose name remains.
Continue reading “HALL MONITOR”We go into the fahncy part of town. Ser Maximilian, Captain of the Wyrm Hunt is ready to show us four possible quests. I just grab the first in the list: Decipher a Text. He hands me a slate with old writing. Only a couple of words are understandable. “Arisen” is in there, as is “heart”. It’s obviously about us. We’re to run around town and ask for more info.
Continue reading “Mason”The guild building is the “gate to the Everfall”. This means nothing to us right now, but — spoiler — whoo, boy. Head Pawn Barnaby tells us it’s “a place of great importance to our kind”. For me, it’s just the next destination in the quest line-up.
When we agree to help Barnaby he takes us down the stairs to a gated doorway. Pawns are “keepers to the entrance”. Since the dragon’s coming the Everfall has a strange aura, a presence that should be investigated. That’s where we come in!
Continue reading “The Pawn Guild”Establishing shot of the Krusty Krab. Inside, Squidward reads a rehearsed greeting and prepares to take the customer fish’s order. The fish’s indecision annoys Squid. (Of course it does lol!)
TWO
The Krabby Patty order is finally passed back to the kitchen where Spongebob waits.
THREE
We see a medium shot of Spongebob building the “Crying Johnny” (with extra onions). Each ingredient and layer is shown like a tutorial.
FOUR
Cooked, the order is passed back through the window for Squidward to deliver. And the line stretches on . . . We definitely get the sense of a busy day in the fast food business.
A large fish approaches the register. His order is complex, loaded with the kind of slang Spongebob has been using. Squidward, naturally, is annoyed.
Spongebob has it cooked already and ready to serve. Then he recognizes the orderer: Bubblebass. They square-off while Western movie music plays over. Spongebob has a reputation for cooking, Bubble for picky eating.
He takes his burger and sits, all of the restaurant gathered to watch. He sniffs, he weighs, he squeezes, he shuffles the burger like a deck of cards. He bites. He chews. (Ew, dude.)
How is it? Pretty good, but . . .
Dunh-dunh. You forgot the pickles!! The crowd gasps.
The best there is? You lose. Giggle, snicker.
Wow, is this fish repugnant lol.
Continue reading “PICKLES”We escort Mercedes and the verrrry slow wagon carrying the hydra head to the capital city of Gran Soren. Kill or dodge a few wolves, some harpies, goblins here and there, even falling rocks. I’ve learned all the tricks for keeping the ox alive. Mercedes’ mission opens up access to the larger world and the city. This is the hub of everything, and the furthering of the story.
She immediately abandons us, though, as if she’ll take credit with the Duke for the hydra kill. That touch of passive-aggressive envy we sensed earlier in her character comes out again here.
Continue reading “Gran Soren”Watchtowers at the Encampment were destroyed by the hydra. People are still here wandering around — Reynard and Madeleine, too — but this is now a location that’s served its purpose. We leave.
Immediately outside the gate a villager stops us. “Is Quina not with you?” She went off to look for a cure for our wounds, and now she’s missing. All the Pawns tell me I should ask at the village, so down the lane we go.
The Chief, back home, tells us his daughter is gone to the Witchwood. She’s all alone in an eerie place. Can we find her?
Continue reading “The Witchwood”This is one of those episodes we always remember. The introduction of the Kyoshi Warriors is a beloved moment.
ONE
We start with Zuko on his ship. Hilariously, he — the angriest person in the show — meditates peacefully at a candle-lit altar. We know it won’t last long. Uncle Iroh pops in, disturbing Zuko, to tell him the Avatar is nowhere to be found. Zuko reacts and fire erupts from the altar. Multiple sightings have been reported, but nothing certain. Zuko says the Avatar is a master of evasive maneuvers.
TWO
Jump cut, and you know exactly where this is going. It’s funny! Team Avatar looks at a map and their crisscross journey. They have no idea where they’re going. It’s the punchline to the One, but it’s also the Trouble. Their haphazard travels, purposeless beyond meeting Aang’s bucket list, are not something the Avatar can safely do. He needs to focus on his mission. This Two (and its Eight) help clarify that tension.
Continue reading “The Warriors of Kyoshi”Daytime in the village and a peddler, Madeleine, would like us to escort her to the Encampment. She’s in a tavern-wench dress, bosom popping out the top, and has an oily, flattering manner. She seems completely untrustworthy, but a quest is a quest.
Continue reading “Madeleine and Mercedes”With my own Pawn now, and my Pawn Crew, I can begin pursuing quests. I make sure my Pawn is dressed with the best gear I have or can buy, upgrade her lone skill, and give her the lantern and a pickaxe.
When we return to our village a cut scene has the hooded man again. He informs us (taunts us?) that every Arisen is drawn to the dragon. However, even among Arisen, apparently, not everyone gets an interview with the dragon. He squints his one eye at me and speaks of futility, then turns and leaves.
His character so clearly represents an antagonist that I hardly pay attention. In the cut scene I see my own toon’s reactions. Oooh, she’s so pretty! I’m happy with my build design. Yes, that’s my main concern while gaming: am I proud of my avatar.
Because we have returned to the village at night (the game has a 24 hour cycle) a woman on the docks has appeared to talk to me. This is the start for the Dark Arisen DLC. I don’t think DD sells anymore without the DLC attached, and rightfully so. It’s excellent, higher-level content. I am too wimpy to do anything but travel to the island, pick up a couple of money bags, and come back again.
I like to unlock Bitterblack Isle right away because it’s such a great travel point. Also, I like to gaze at the large double doors and dream of being skilled enough to enter the rough and tumble world of the game’s toughest beasties and highest gear rewards.
Here they are! The first episode of the superheroes has begun.
ONE
An introduction to MM and BB, showing them young and vital, explaining their powers. It has the tone, and indeed is, the opening sequence to a TV show. Spongebob and Patrick, cosplaying, watch and cheer.
TWO
Turn to reveal Spongebob with the starfish on his nose. There is evil afoot! They fly out of the pineapple house.
Squidward suns himself in his front yard. Oh, he’s the archenemy, Reflecto. Heh heh.
THREE
Donuts worn on the fingers. They’re the magic rings that grant the superpowers. Patrick takes a bite from his.
FOUR
Spongebob and Patrick squat down and grunt, charging up some kind of attack. A jellyfish swims toward Squidward. Did they call it? Squid, blowing on it, “reflects it”. He’s become too powerful!
Back to the “sea cave” with Squid chasing.
Patrick says, “What would the real Mermaid Man do?” Outside the door, Squid says, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?” They live in the retirement home nearby.
SWITCH
Establishing shot of Shady Shoals.
FIVE
There they are, sitting on a couch watching TV. They’re in costume (that’s funny) but older. Way older. Spongebob and Patrick stan. There’s evil afoot!
MM freaks out over the word “evil”, wrestling with the furniture. The rest home attendant tosses Patrick and Spongebob from the building. Spongebob gives a speech with fireworks and an insert of a live old captain flashing a thumbs up. The superheroes must come out of retirement!
Back to the Shady Shoals. MM and BB dish up gruel in the buffet line. BB is obviously older but still cognizant. MM is in dementia. With pink fluffy slippers.
Spongebob, visiting, relates an episode of their show with Man Ray as the villain, acting out the parts. The attendant tosses him.
Spongebob in drag comes back to Shady Shoals. Oh, no, haha. Patrick in burglar gear steals the purse, trying to provoke a superhero moment.
This episode is out there.
BB and MM start fighting, basically over how annoying Spongebob is.
SIX
BB completely loses it. He pulls out a box containing the magic rings.
Noice. Beautiful Three/Six mirror moment.
SEVEN
Say the oath! The narrator from the TV show takes over MM’s voice.
EIGHT
MM and BB with the classic attacks. Spongebob and Patrick, unintimidated, look on starry-eyed.
Oh, so funny. “He’s absorbing it like some kind of evil sponge.”
The dog paddle! On the one hand, old people who can no longer function as they did in their prime, are silly. That’s kind of icky. On the other hand, they sound just like Spongebob and Patrick did, which is thematically layered. I’m embarrassed to laugh, but . . . it’s hilarious.
Spongebob and Patrick, having the time of their lives, are eventually tossed out of the area.
NINE
They watch TV again. It’s the NEW adventures of MM and BB. The heroes play checkers, with POW! inserts at the moves.
As you can see, this episode is very Four-light/Five-heavy. Maybe I spotted the wrong Switch, but where else would it be? The showrunners, I’m guessing, really wanted to spend time with the superheroes. They’re great! Who wouldn’t? But it’s given us a lopsided structure and an awkward episode.