Category: Episode Enneagrams

ONE

Squidward steps out his door and admires his sparkly clean yard.

TWO

Aha! A rogue seashell mars the sand. It seems kind of pretty to me — an added feature like a lawn ornament — but clearly it’s considered a fallen leaf. 

THREE

Squid, in a classic move, kicks the shell into Spongebob’s sparkly yard. Be careful what you set in motion at the Three, dear children.

FOUR

Immediately noticing the offending shell/leaf, Spongebob loads on his blower and starts it up. Squidward, relaxing in a hammock, frowns at the noise and puts in earplugs.

The shell, which has the aerodynamics of a leaf, won’t blow away. Chasing it, Spongebob ends up blowing sand all over Squidward’s lunch. 

SWITCH

Blowing hasn’t worked, so Spongebob flips the machine to suck.

FIVE

As Spongebob sucks up the sand, the blower revolts and spits out the load. Spongebob puts it back in. He will not be defeated! Using a very long cord pull, Spongebob starts a monster-sized suck and vacuums up the entire ocean. Squidward gasps for “air” and the blower pulses with its huge load.

It pops. Back comes the ocean. Sand piles are dumped everywhere.

SIX

Except for Spongebob’s yard, which is again sparkly clean.

SEVEN

Spongebob dusts his hands and goes into his pineapple. He’s done and his mission is accomplished.

EIGHT

All the piled sand is in Squidward’s yard, burying him up to the head. Punchline one.

The shell floats down and lands on his nose. Punchline two.

NINE

I considered if the shell was the Nine — Squidward is back where he started and nothing in his world has changed for the better — but ultimately decided it was an Eight. The shell is the Two-Trouble, so it makes more sense for it to reoccur and reflect back at the Eight.

The implied Nine, though, is just as effective.

ONE

The first episode of Spongebob Squarepants! The French-accented narrator introduces us to the sea, Bikini Bottom, and the pineapple home of Spongebob. It’s all so familiar now, but I can still imagine that moment when all this was new.

TWO

Spongebob’s underwater alarm clock rings like a foghorn. Whatever the day holds for this new character, it’s Trouble.

THREE

Here’s Spongebob in bed, waking up. Normally this wouldn’t be Three-worthy, but it’s our first time seeing him. Our hero!

FOUR

Gary the Snail, Patrick under his rock, the neighborhood street — all are introduced. Spongebob lifts teddy bear weights with difficulty, showing us a lot about his character. When he’s done the teddies float through the water and down to the ground, reiterating the rules of the world.

The Krusty Krab has a Help Wanted sign in the window. We meet Squidward and Mr. Krabs, and learn that to work at the KK is Spongebob’s dream. With a little boosting from Patrick, he goes in.

SWITCH

When Spongebob enters, he trips over a nail in the floor and goes through a cartoon slapstick rigamarole. Squidward and Mr. Krabs watch. It’s an exaggeration of every nightmare we’ve all had when applying for a new job. Will we be accepted?

FIVE

In order to be hired, Spongebob must pass a test. Mr. Krabs tells him to fetch a hydrodynamic spatula, something seemingly impossible. On the one hand, this is very Five: the team cannot assemble until all members have proven themselves. On the other hand, we learn that Mr. Krabs can be unfair and that Squidward will forever set himself against Spongebob. Classic character establishment for a series.

While Spongebob is gone shopping, busloads of Anchovies come to the KK and overwhelm the register. They’re like a wave, sending Mr. Krabs and Squidward up the restaurant’s mast. Things look bad.

SIX

Spongebob lowers himself by whirling spatula power to save the day. At the Three we see an unknown quantity: who is our protagonist? Here we see fulfillment. Oh! He’s a good-natured, resourceful underdog who happily bails out his friends.

SEVEN

“To the kitchen!” We never doubted Spongebob, but he officially decides to help.

EIGHT

Cue the surf music! Cooking and dancing, like a Busby Berkeley musical number, Spongebob feeds all the Anchovies and they leave. Mr. Krabs has an immense bag of money, which makes him content. You’re hired, and three cheers for Spongebob, much to Squidward’s dismay.

NINE

Patrick enters and orders a Krabby Patty. Ah, the future of the series! Spongebob makes dozens of burgers, Squidward complains, and Mr. Krabs doesn’t care. Sweet first episode. Everything that we know and love is already there.