Spongebob Squarepants – Enneagram and Encaustic

Neptune’s Spatula

ONE

Heroic gladiator music over the credits is replaced by our friendly uke with a bubble-wipe to the Fry Cook Museum.

In walk Spongebob and Patrick. (He wears a large ballcap and has a camera around his neck.) They ooh and aah at the displays, which are mostly creatures in glass cases wearing chef hats.

And then they arrive at the “ultimate cooking utensil”, the Golden Spatula. Ah. Larry the Lobster climbs a staircase behind the display in order to try — a la Excalibur — to pull the spatula from its bucket of — suds? wash water? mashed potatoes? He fails, and the spatula goes “Sproing.”

(Haha. It’s a bucket of “ancient grease”. While the gladiator music plays.)

TWO

Only a fry cook worthy of King Neptune himself . . . haha. We’re just waiting for it now. Too cute. Spongebob wants a picture next to the spatula, his hand lightly resting on the handle. An old lady fish interrupts Patrick asking for directions. While he drools with uncertainty, Spongebob valiantly offers to help. Pointing the way, he wields the spatula. Schwing! Golden fire surrounds the liberated, upraised tool. A swirly cloud surrounds Spongebob while Patrick, oblivious, still tries to take a picture.

THREE

Lightning. Fish gathering around. A voice from the cloud. Through a break we see a Mount Olympus-style tableau, and Neptune swims down and through. (His voice this time is J. Peterman from Seinfeld. In the movie it’s George Bluth from Arrested Development.)

Walking Small

ONE

A beachfront scene and the sign “Welcome to Goo Lagoon”. (The eternal mystery of how an underwater location has a shore is best not questioned.)

TWO

Oops, there goes the sign, dug up by a tractor. Yes! It’s Plankton driving!

THREE

With a bullhorn he announces that all beachgoers are trespassing on the future site of the Chum Bucket Mega Bucket as he places his own sign.

Texas

I could nitpick that the Three and Six don’t perfectly mirror, but I won’t. Just enjoy.

ONE

Bubble-wipe from the three-palm island to the pineapple house under the ocean.

TWO

Nope, lol. Spongebob’s hand, pretending to be him, comes from behind the house, which is actually a sand castle. Heh, then Patrick’s hand comes from a sand rock to visit. The two of them hand-hop over to Sandy’s place.

THREE

Except it’s not a tree dome. It’s a sand mountain. She karate chops the top off, revealing a sand relief of Texas. “What’s a Texas?” Spongebob asks. Then a wave crashes over them and washes Texas away. Sandy sighs.

The Snowball Effect

Nothing but love for this episode, I promise.

ONE

Bubble-wipe to a real life iceberg scene. Over wintery landscapes, the French narrator speaks of the mighty iceberg that can sometimes stray into warmer waters.

TWO

Cut to the three-palm island as an iceberg floats in. Now we look at Bikini Bottom, that cozy community, as snow begins to fall.

THREE

Continued scenes of snow-covered undersea buildings as the weather fish, wearing a trapper hat, reports on the winter blanket covering Jellyfish Fields and the neighborhoods.

Rock Bottom

It’s easy to get distracted at the beginning. The structure is a bit of a sleeper, but it’s there.

ONE

Spongebob and Patrick stand outside of “Glove World!” wearing . . . plastic gloves as hats.

TWO

Patrick eats an ice cream cone as they await the bus.

THREE

The bus arrives.

ARRGH

Just a few complaints from yours truly. See Critical Notes after the breakdown.

ONE

Mr. Krabs with a spyglass peruses the area outside the Krusty Krab door. Ah, no customers in sight.

TWO

From inside, Spongebob gives an excited yell. He and Patrick look down at eight gold doubloons. Mr. K hurries over, lol, and pounces. Oh, it’s just a board game. They play “The Flying Dutchman’s Treasure Hunt,” based on a real treasure map, Patrick says.

Did they clean off the tables already? And did they clean the gum off the underside? Cut to Spongebob and Patrick chewing and blowing bubbles. (Ack.) Well, Mr. K agrees to play.

THREE

Game antics. (It looks like fun!) Mr. K gets to dig for treasure with a leetle shovel, and becomes way too excited about the tiny treasure chest.

THE PAPER

Good structure. Nice episode.

ONE

The Easter Island head as Squidward exits and set up his lawn chaise.

TWO

He opens a little bubble gum package, pops the gum in his mouth, and tosses the paper away. It lands on Spongebob’s walkway.

THREE

The pineapple house slides forward, right up to the edge of the trash, so that when Spongebob opens his door his feet are next to it. “Squidward!” he calls.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Critical Notes, as always, are at the end.

ONE

Spongebob walks out his front door, arms loaded with hearts, and announces …

TWO

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Bikini Bottom!” (Candy boxes shaped like hearts, I think.)

THREE

He skips, tossing the hearts like flower petals. And he never runs out!

SUDS

ONE

Nighttime in the neighborhood. (Why is Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker playing over the credits?)

Spongebob sleeps. A bubble forms above his head and we see his dream. It rains Krabby Patties. He runs around with his mouth open, happily eating.

TWO

When he wakes he’s chewing on his pillow. He needs a quick midnight snack. Gary, on a newspaper next to the bed, sleeps. Quietly, Spongebob goes into the kitchen and makes a sea-nut butter sandwich. He takes one bite and crashes onto the counter, asleep. The open refrigerator door starts to waft a cold, ghostly vibe.

THREE

Still nighttime outside the pineapple house. Dissolve to day, and now the house is iced and frozen. Ah, here comes the Nutcracker music again.

SLEEPY TIME

ONE

Nighttime in Bikini Bottom. Spongebob takes off his shoes and socks, which come off as one unit. Beside the bed, Gary puts his eyes in the shoes and comes out with socks on his stalks. (Lol — that’s a rhyme I only caught after writing it.) Spongebob pulls up his covers and falls immediately to sleep.

TWO

Cloud thought-bubbles appear. Bikini Bottom is now a kind of chef-land, with Krabby Patty houses and spatula trees. Spongebob body parts assemble, and suddenly he’s dropped into a racing car/boat. A driver’s license, something Spongebob doesn’t have in his real life, pops into existence. While he’s busy admiring it the car drives by itself and goes through a “road ends” sign. Crash.

Ejected, Spongebob sails on, past the Krusty Krab and over a flying Mrs. Puff. Lol, she’s frowny. She rips up his dream driver’s license. Upset, Spongebob crashes through and out of his dream.

THREE

While real Spongebob sleeps, a little Dream Spongebob lands on the bed and looks at himself. Who’s the true Spongebob? While he ponders, a meow from Gary draws his attention. Asleep, Gary has a cloud bubble over his shell. Spongebob pops in.