Screenwriting, Lyrics, Art, and Investigation
ONE
A close-up of Spongebob’s shoes as he tiptoes backward. Pivot! He’s in a karate stance. He backs up into his pineapple house. Startled, he karate chops it.
TWO
When he goes inside and starts to relax, a strange noise surprises him. Ooh, his face gets devilish and he sneaks forward.
THREE
His shoes make a squeaking sound. Nope, he’s stepping on toy ducks that quack. He kicks them aside!
Continue reading “KARATE CHOPPERS”ONE
Sunday morning in Bikini Bottom. The three-palm island dissolves to the neighborhood. It’s time for Squidward to practice his clarinet.
TWO
In his house Squid kisses his beloved Clari and opens his porthole window.
Spongebob sleeps. His alarm ticks down to six o’clock.
THREE
As Squid wets his lips and prepares to blow, the fog horn blasts from the pineapple window, knocking the clarinet down Squidward’s throat. Spongebob, looking out his own porthole, shouts, “Good morning!” Squid makes squeaky noises back at him.
Continue reading “SB-129”ONE
Gary exercises on a hamster wheel. Spongebob takes him down and plays fetch. Whatever he throws, Spongebob must wait, checking his watch, as Gary the Snail retrieves it. Heh.
When Gary finally returns, waking Spongebob from a nap, he gets chin tickles and eye stalk pets. “I love you, Gary.” Gary climbs all over Spongebob with snail cuddliness.
Patrick bursts through the door. He’s very excited as he wields his jellyfishing net. There’s some kind of convention this weekend, but Spongebob has no one to take care of Gary.
TWO
Cut to Squidward knocking on the pineapple door. He’s here to complain about underwear on his front lawn. Wut? But Spongebob takes this perfect opportunity to ask Squid to watch Gary.
THREE
Haha! Spongebob introduces the snail, which drips slime in closeup, and Squid recoils. Get somebody else.
Continue reading “I WAS A TEENAGE GARY”ONE
A skeleton on a sunken ship, a spider in snorkel gear — it’s a Halloween episode. The French narrator tells us so. “Everyone’s having fun.” The Krusty Krab has a big sign out front and some nice jack-o-lanterns.
TWO
“Well, almost everyone.” Inside the KK kitchen, Spongebob jumps at a sound. Washing dishes, he quickly turns when the order rack makes a sinister chuckling-like squeak. He rushes through the rest of the pile, breaking some plates, and declares he’s done.
Krabs blocks the door. Don’t you want to hear my scary story? No. But . . . he can’t resist. Krabs sets up a campfire just inside the front door and they sit around it.
THREE
Ooh! It’s a Flying Dutchman story! Yay!
(What a great Three: Introduce the idea of the Dutchman. Wait until the Six!)
Continue reading “SCAREDY PANTS”ONE
The Krusty Krab. Spongebob pesters Squidward, who reads a book while manning the register.
TWO
Today’s the beginning of the judging for Employee of the Month. Squid considers the award a scam. Work harder for no extra money in order to win. He indicates the “wall of shame”, a series of winner’s photos that are all Spongebob. Spongebob gives a genuine statement about pride in your work, and Mr. Krab gives him an arm hug. Then he tells him it’s a tough judgment this month. Squidward’s on the verge of a breakout!
THREE
Elbowing him, Squid says, “I might sneak up on you.” Hardy har.
FOUR
Spongebob imagines Squid’s laughing face inside the waiting empty picture frame and wails. “How can I let the quality of my work slip so much?” Actually, this is a terrible, bullying episode! Stop gaslighting the Sponge.
Continue reading “EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH”ONE
The Krusty Krab. Spongebob is in the kitchen, sniffing patty meat. Mustard check mark — perfect!
TWO
Crying is heard. Spongebob peeks his head out the order window and then hides. Pearl, tears streaming, runs through the dining area and into the office. Spongebob follows the trail of moisture and listens at the door.
Haha! Mr. Krabs’ voice tells her to calm down and the office door slams to the ground from the tsunami of tears. Spongebob fights the wave to put the door back. A stream of water knocks down the door and ejects Mr. Krabs across the restaurant, tears filling the room. (Yay, finally. Water flooding a building that is already underwater. I’ve been waiting for that reality check!)
THREE
What’s wrong with Pearl? Her scurvy prom date stood her up.
Continue reading “THE CHAPERONE”ONE
The Easter Island head. Inside, Squidward talks to . . . himself. He’s sculpted a wax replica of himself. It’s disturbing. Haha! Hands on hips, it’s just as judgy as the original.
Crash! Outside Spongebob and Patrick play football with a rock. Nope, not football. It’s an undersea Calvinball with chess and bubble blowing. This could also possibly be the Two.
TWO
Squidward opens his window to yell at them. Once he’s disrupted their game he puts on a record and draws a bath. The clash with Squidward, wherever I draw the line, is the Trouble. The lack of a Three makes this Two hard to tack down.
THREE
(There is no Three.)
Continue reading “SQUIDWARD THE UNFRIENDLY GHOST”ONE
The credits have marching band music running over, then we bubble-wipe to the pineapple house. No peaceful ukeleles for this episode.
TWO
Inside, Spongebob flexes his muscles in front of the mirror. Well, haha, if he had muscles. “It’s time to grow large and wide.” Why? Because that’s the Trouble, that’s why.
Two stuffed animals are impaled on each end of the lifting bar. He strains to lift it over his head, eventually falling sideways from the weight.
Doorbell. “Yay, it’s Sandy!” I actually said that aloud while watching.
THREE
Oh, wow, he shows her his state of the art weight set! My heart. It’s all adorable stuffed animals.
Continue reading “MUSCLEBOB BUFFPANTS”ONE
Lunchtime at the Krusty Krab.
TWO
The French narrator explains how nice it is. Suddenly the lighting goes red and all the fish panic. Krabs at the cash register calls up to Squidward who’s in a crow’s nest (lol — wut?) with a spyglass.
Ah, it’s a Plankton episode! He’s stealing a Krabby Patty. With a laser he cuts a tiny hole in the wall and escapes outside. Little robot arms from a backpack carry the patty as Plankton says, “I win!”
THREE
The KK crew stands around. He got away. But, no. Spongebob rips off his skin to reveal another Spongebob skin. He’s a superhero to the rescue. Through town he chases the rogue patty.
Continue reading “F.U.N.”ONE
The Krusty Krab. Business is at a lull. Spongebob and Mr. Krabs wait.
TWO
Squidward reads something called “Dance Now”, looking at pictures of human ballet dancers. A cutout of his head replaces the man’s head and Squid sighs.
THREE
A dust mote falls to the reflective table surface. Spongebob attacks it with cleaner. His obsession with tidiness is a perfect, defined beat.
Continue reading “CULTURE SHOCK”