Screenwriting, Lyrics, Art, and Investigation
ONE
A clamshell rooster crows, and we dissolve from the Easter Island head to Squidward asleep.
TWO
A quiet giggling awakens him and he throws back the covers. Yikes! Spongebob and Patrick in party gear lie next to him. Happy Birthday! Hahaha, wow is that disturbing.
THREE
A montage of singing, partying shots follow. Throughout, Squidward is stone-faced. When they leave he finally reacts, yelling after them, “It’s not my birthday!”
Continue reading “OPPOSITE DAY”ONE
Fry Cook Spongebob flips patties. One patty twirls into the air and changes into a jellyfish, which swims about the Krusty Krab kitchen and escapes out the porthole.
Spongebob likes this. He turns back to the stove and watches all the patties morph into jellyfish. Spongebob himself floats into the air and flies after them out the window. He transforms into a large, square yellow jellyfish. With big round eyes! They cavort in Jellyfish Fields until a voice calling his name awakens him from this wish-fantasy One.
TWO
The stove smokes and Mr. Krabs is yelling. Reality is the Trouble.
Continue reading “NATURE PANTS”ONE
We have a fairly substantial One this time. A large anchor is Mr. Krabs’ house. Inside, he sings robustly that “Pearl’s me daughter.” And there she is! Our first time seeing and hearing Pearl! (It is, isn’t it?) It’s her birthday, she’s excited, and daddy is cheap. Instead of the Flipper Slippers everyone’s wearing, he gets her wellies as a present.
Not only is the story introduced, but the Krabs locale and family are established for the series.
TWO
The fishing boots are the Trouble. They were, of course, a bargain. Krabs’ penny pinching and its results drive this episode.
THREE
Cut to the exterior where the anchor house shakes as Pearl scream-cries.
Continue reading “SQUEAKY BOOTS”ONE
Spongebob heads down the road to Sandy’s treedome and knocks at the airlock door.
TWO
A rocket ship emerges from a launch hole outside the dome.
Of course it does. Classic.
THREE
From an upper window of the rocket Sandy calls out, “Howdy!”
Continue reading “SANDY’S ROCKET”ONE
The French narrator shows us Jellyfish Fields. But where is Spongebob?
TWO
He’s in a coral-encrusted ghillie suit shaped like a square. Heh. Safety goggles and his net ready, Spongebob slides closer and catches a jellyfish.
THREE
Tossing on a ten-gallon, fiddle music over, Spongebob “milks” the jellyfish onto a slice of bread.
Continue reading “JELLYFISH JAM”ONE
The French narrator establishes Mrs. Puff’s Boating School. Fish students drool and sleep while Spongebob takes diligent notes.
TWO
But, wait. It’s time to pick the Hall Monitor of the day. Spongebob looks up with wide eyes.
THREE
Mrs. Puff looks over her checklist. With a mark next to nearly every name, only one student hasn’t been Hall Monitor. Haha, you know whose name remains.
Continue reading “HALL MONITOR”Establishing shot of the Krusty Krab. Inside, Squidward reads a rehearsed greeting and prepares to take the customer fish’s order. The fish’s indecision annoys Squid. (Of course it does lol!)
TWO
The Krabby Patty order is finally passed back to the kitchen where Spongebob waits.
THREE
We see a medium shot of Spongebob building the “Crying Johnny” (with extra onions). Each ingredient and layer is shown like a tutorial.
FOUR
Cooked, the order is passed back through the window for Squidward to deliver. And the line stretches on . . . We definitely get the sense of a busy day in the fast food business.
A large fish approaches the register. His order is complex, loaded with the kind of slang Spongebob has been using. Squidward, naturally, is annoyed.
Spongebob has it cooked already and ready to serve. Then he recognizes the orderer: Bubblebass. They square-off while Western movie music plays over. Spongebob has a reputation for cooking, Bubble for picky eating.
He takes his burger and sits, all of the restaurant gathered to watch. He sniffs, he weighs, he squeezes, he shuffles the burger like a deck of cards. He bites. He chews. (Ew, dude.)
How is it? Pretty good, but . . .
Dunh-dunh. You forgot the pickles!! The crowd gasps.
The best there is? You lose. Giggle, snicker.
Wow, is this fish repugnant lol.
Continue reading “PICKLES”Here they are! The first episode of the superheroes has begun.
ONE
An introduction to MM and BB, showing them young and vital, explaining their powers. It has the tone, and indeed is, the opening sequence to a TV show. Spongebob and Patrick, cosplaying, watch and cheer.
TWO
Turn to reveal Spongebob with the starfish on his nose. There is evil afoot! They fly out of the pineapple house.
Squidward suns himself in his front yard. Oh, he’s the archenemy, Reflecto. Heh heh.
THREE
Donuts worn on the fingers. They’re the magic rings that grant the superpowers. Patrick takes a bite from his.
FOUR
Spongebob and Patrick squat down and grunt, charging up some kind of attack. A jellyfish swims toward Squidward. Did they call it? Squid, blowing on it, “reflects it”. He’s become too powerful!
Back to the “sea cave” with Squid chasing.
Patrick says, “What would the real Mermaid Man do?” Outside the door, Squid says, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?” They live in the retirement home nearby.
SWITCH
Establishing shot of Shady Shoals.
FIVE
There they are, sitting on a couch watching TV. They’re in costume (that’s funny) but older. Way older. Spongebob and Patrick stan. There’s evil afoot!
MM freaks out over the word “evil”, wrestling with the furniture. The rest home attendant tosses Patrick and Spongebob from the building. Spongebob gives a speech with fireworks and an insert of a live old captain flashing a thumbs up. The superheroes must come out of retirement!
Back to the Shady Shoals. MM and BB dish up gruel in the buffet line. BB is obviously older but still cognizant. MM is in dementia. With pink fluffy slippers.
Spongebob, visiting, relates an episode of their show with Man Ray as the villain, acting out the parts. The attendant tosses him.
Spongebob in drag comes back to Shady Shoals. Oh, no, haha. Patrick in burglar gear steals the purse, trying to provoke a superhero moment.
This episode is out there.
BB and MM start fighting, basically over how annoying Spongebob is.
SIX
BB completely loses it. He pulls out a box containing the magic rings.
Noice. Beautiful Three/Six mirror moment.
SEVEN
Say the oath! The narrator from the TV show takes over MM’s voice.
EIGHT
MM and BB with the classic attacks. Spongebob and Patrick, unintimidated, look on starry-eyed.
Oh, so funny. “He’s absorbing it like some kind of evil sponge.”
The dog paddle! On the one hand, old people who can no longer function as they did in their prime, are silly. That’s kind of icky. On the other hand, they sound just like Spongebob and Patrick did, which is thematically layered. I’m embarrassed to laugh, but . . . it’s hilarious.
Spongebob and Patrick, having the time of their lives, are eventually tossed out of the area.
NINE
They watch TV again. It’s the NEW adventures of MM and BB. The heroes play checkers, with POW! inserts at the moves.
As you can see, this episode is very Four-light/Five-heavy. Maybe I spotted the wrong Switch, but where else would it be? The showrunners, I’m guessing, really wanted to spend time with the superheroes. They’re great! Who wouldn’t? But it’s given us a lopsided structure and an awkward episode.
ONE
Something. A group of somethings. Worms hopping together, all saying, “Walking.”
TWO
They stop. “Hungry.”
THREE
They swarm and consume a coral structure in two seconds. Alright, their group-minded behavior is really funny, like Finding Nemo’s seagulls. Frightening, but funny.
FOUR
“Still hungry.” There goes some fish’s boat/car. “Dang nematodes,” says the fish. Ah, a name for this being. I got them confused with the Anchovies from the first episode. #CreaturesThatSwarm
“Thirsty.” Pan camera to reveal the pineapple neighborhood. Rut-roh.
Aaaargh! They pull out straws and suck on the house! It shrinks, still a perfect pineapple. Spongebob, inside, sleeps. Gary’s food bowl shrinks and disappears. The foghorn alarm gets smaller, ringing higher, until it disappears. Only Spongebob and Gary stay their size.
The house is shrinking around them. Spongebob calls Squidward on the shell phone. It shrinks away.
Patrick opens his rock. The pineapple shrinks away, leaving Spongebob and Gary in the crater. “Nematodes.” The only thing left is “this little pebble”.
Squid and Pat see that Spongebob’s house is gone.
Thinking Spongebob will now vacate the neighborhood, Squidward shakes his hand and wishes him well. Party streamers come from the Head window.
Spongebob pockets the “pebble”. (I know, I’ve seen it. But I still think the pebble insert would be a sufficient clue for someone watching the episode for the first time.)
SWITCH
Move back with Mom and Dad? There’s their picture as an insert! (They’re so cute.) No, we’ll build you a new house!
FIVE
Shiny, hard hat-wearing duo. With tools! No surprise, but they’re terrible at building. Montage of their hijinks. And then there’s a finished pineapple. A small one. It’s the size of a hat. And it breaks.
Now where? Rockmates with Patrick. The rock is like a shared blanket. Hahaha! Trouble, ending with Patrick dreaming of spiders and smashing the rock on Spongebob. They always give you the joke you expect, and then take it one further. And even more. Cracking up.
Squidward sleeps peacefully. He agrees to let Spongebob stay. Wait for it . . . yup. There’s the close-up of his eyes bugging out as he wakes up enough to realize what he’s said. Kicked out.
Nighttime over the ocean. Moon and island shot. Dissolve to day.
Squidward wakes up. It’s a celebration day. He’s so happy to be saying farewell to Spongebob.
Patrick cries. Mom and Dad drive up to gather Spongebob and his bags.
SIX
Spongebob reaches in his pocket!
Destruction vs. Creation as the Three/Six? Visually it’s a stretch, but thematically it’s quite good. A large coral and a small seed don’t seem connected at first glance. I guess you could also say that the Three is the action of a crowd and the Six is the effort of an individual. It gets even lovelier!
SEVEN
He buries the pebble in his house crater and waters it with his tears. Underground shot of the pebble absorbing the water and activating.
EIGHT
Shaking hands goodbye. Squid, still in the crater, does a dance. Intercut Patrick holding back the boat/car, the pebble glowing, and the Squiddie victory performance.
A large vine sprouts next to the crater, grows a pineapple (with windows and door), and drops it on Squidward’s head.
“My house is back!” They all go inside, happy, and step on a flattened Squidward under the floor dirt.
NINE
“I’m back forever!” says Spongebob.
Squid, still a sand figure, mumbles, “Forever?” Thwarted again, buddy.
ONE
It’s the Krusty Krab. Spongebob wipes the tables while Squidward tells him to hurry. They’re closed.
TWO
Dunh-dunh! The telephone rings. Mr. Krabs takes the receiver away from Squidward. Someone wants pizza! Mr. Krabs whirls a platter of Krabby Patties into a pizza, which gets whirled into a box.
THREE
Squidward will deliver, and he must take Spongebob with him. This actually is a Squidward episode. He only wants to go home after work. He’s not trying to avoid Spongebob or annoy him, or any of the usual plot lines. He’s just a dude who’s put in a full day.
FOUR
A boat/car. Is this Squidward’s? No, it can’t be. Is this Krabs’? Everyone knows Spongebob can’t drive, so why is Squid in the passenger seat? He appears to know how to drive, yet he’s not behind the wheel. Since when would he trust Spongebob at this?
Okay, you must have guessed by now that this episode of our beloved Spongebob is a bit . . . fraught with problems.
But let’s accept that the Krusty Krab will make a magical pizza that must then be delivered by a boat/car handled by someone who one episode ago couldn’t drive. Indeed, Spongebob speeds backward, panic-driving in reverse until he’s in the middle of nowhere.
SWITCH?
This may be a Switch. It’s too early in the episode, so probably not. The boat/car runs out of gas and strands our two employees. Or does it? Squidward, frustrated, hits the car and it drives away.
FIVE?
Now our team is on foot, walking to deliver this pizza. An underwater wind storm fights their progress; a rock with moss may show the direction to town (it does, but Squidward refuses to accept Spongebob’s “pioneer” logic).
Throughout this, Spongebob is peppy, singing and dancing.
SWITCH?
And then, he isn’t. The team droops. Their heads steam with exhaustion. This is a definite change, but it’s so late in the story.
FIVE?
The pizza is shiny, and then a large rock becomes motive and drives them right to the customer’s house.
Uh, wut?
The customer fish asks for his drink, which they don’t have. Angry, the fish throws the pizza and Spongebob breaks down in a puddle of tears.
SIX
Squidward, in a moment of genuine sympathy, asks Spongebob if he’s okay.
Told you this was a Squiddie episode. Since when is Squidward moved by Spongebob’s disappointment? They are an actual team, formed at the Three, and they have each other’s back.
SEVEN
Squid decides to approach the customer house.
EIGHT
Knocking, he tells the customer that the pizza is “on the house”. He then smashes it into the customer’s face. Returning to Spongebob, he says that the customer ate the pizza in one bite.
NINE
They drive the rock back to the Krusty Krab. Squidward realizes he’s at work, the one place he wanted to leave at the beginning of the episode. In this regard, Squid gets the Nine he always gets. Even though he was more of a friend, someone who owned the Eight, he’s still thwarted or punished in the end.
So, I’m quite curious: do serious Spongebob fans like this episode? I barely remember it, which certainly is a statement. I would argue (of course I would) that the muddled Enneagram at the Switch reduces the fun of this episode. Where is the midpoint? What changes at the Switch? Why (the eternal question) is Squidward nice?
Interesting, naturally. Even the best, the most beloved, and the tightest crafted show can fail once and a while.