Star Trek OG – Enneagram and Encaustic

Shore Leave

Although this episode is unbearably painful now, I remember it fondly. It’s actually a 1960’s scifi presentation of what we’ve come to call gaming, a virtual world designed for amusement.

ONE

The Enterprise orbits a beautiful green and blue planet.

Spock crosses the bridge to bring the camera in on Kirk in his chair. A pretty woman, probably a yeoman, stands nearby. When Kirk complains of a back kink, the woman massages it. Raising an eyebrow, Spock steps away and Kirk realizes who’s rubbing him. (Hey! Where’s our Basket Head?)

TWO

This awkward bit allows Spock to comment that everyone — except him, of course — is badly in need of rest. Kirk rubs his eyes and leaves the bridge, asking for McCoy’s report to be sent to his quarters.

Cut to a lovely woods scene. (It’s Southern California, lol, but it looks fairly green.) McCoy and Sulu, smiling, stroll next to some pampas grass. They are part of a scouting party, ready to approve this planet for shore leave. It’s like something out of Alice in Wonderland, McCoy says. Sulu wanders off to gather biological samples. When McCoy turns away, he faces a large white rabbit. It speaks its lines, checking its watch, and — hahaha! — trots away, some poor human in a fuzzy, oversized suit. And now here comes a girl in blue, chasing after it.

THREE

McCoy doubletakes and yells for Sulu. Cartoon music plays over. Seeing nothing, Sulu holds McCoy’s shoulder. “What is it, doc?” he says as the camera pushes in on Bones’ disbelieving face.

Roll credits.

Balance of Terror

Not bad. You’ll see. Critical Notes are after the breakdown.

ONE

A ceremony. Crew prepare some kind of podium and gather on benches. Scotty sets up a camera to broadcast to all viewing screens.

Before Kirk can take the stand, though, he’s called to comms. Two Earth outposts have gone silent. Maintain course to the next outpost. He approaches the podium.

Oh! It’s a wedding! He’s officiating. Janice lights candles and Scotty takes the arm of a young woman with flowers arranged in her hair. He’s giving her away. As Kirk proclaims the words, Janice stands just behind his shoulder in a not-so-subtle two-shot.

TWO

He’s interrupted mid-ceremony by a red alert. Outpost Four reports they’re under attack, space vessel’s identity unknown. Everyone dashes, including the young couple.

Roll credits.

The Conscience of the King

Overall I’ve found Star Trek to be much more uneven than I had remembered. This episode has some nice moments mixed in with its duds. Critical Notes are after the breakdown.

ONE

Scary music and a dagger wielded high. Stabbing and death. A man with heavy make-up examines his bloody hand. Elizabethan music. Cut to Kirk in the audience. Enjoying the show, he sits next to another, more serious man. “Watch MacBeth,” he says. We see Kirk’s POV of the stage play.

TWO

The play continues. MacBeth speaks to Lady MacBeth, and Kirk’s friend says, “That voice.” He’s certain. It’s Kodos the Executioner.

THREE

(There is no Three.)

Roll credits.

The Corbomite Maneuver

Oh, dear. Critical Notes are after the breakdown.

ONE

We’re on the bridge, but from a very strange camera angle, swooping and rising. Lol, what in the world? Why would a bird’s eye view that zooms down to a console button be necessary? (Did someone get a new lens toy?) Spock leads the crew in some kind of experiment or test. Some Lieutenant assists him.

TWO

Noticing a blinking red alert, Sulu says an object moves toward them. Evasive maneuvers. They slow and stop, and we see the object on the view screen.

It’s a Rubik’s cube, lol. Close-ups of everyone looking at this spinning, neon-colored block.

Ahead slow, and steer a course around it. Naturally, it moves to stop them. Condition alert. Captain Kirk to the bridge.

Roll credits.

THREE

(There is no Three.)

Dagger of the Mind

Utter bewilderment is becoming a bit of a habit between me and Star Trek. Critical Notes are at the end of the breakdown.

ONE

After showing the Enterprise in orbit, the screen goes to an insert of some kind of pharmaceutical container. Destination: Tantalus Penal Colony, Att: Dr. Tristan Adams. Pull out to show a man lift it on the transporter pad. It’s big!

TWO

It won’t beam down initially because the prison’s force field isn’t dropped. Then, cargo down, and a crate comes up. Classified Material, Do Not Open. The crate lid cracks open. An older man with an oxygen mask sneaks out. The Red Shirt doesn’t even hear him as he rushes up from behind and judo chops his neck. Super close-up on prisoner’s face, sweaty, as he hides by the door.

Roll credits.

THREE

On the bridge as Kirk tries to convince Bones that Dr. Adams’ theories make for a resort-like prison. McCoy says, “A cage is a cage.”

Miri

Critical notes, as always, are after the Enneagram breakdown.

LEFTOVER NINE

On the bridge Kirk reacts intensely to an old Earth-style SOS that the Enterprise is receiving. None of the crew is a familiar face except for Spock at his science station and Yeoman Janice standing near the captain’s chair.

They approach an Earth-like planet, although no colonies or vessels are out this far. Bones comes onto the bridge, and the camera dollies in for a two shot of him and Kirk as Spock reads out the planet’s specifications, eerily familiar . Close-up of Janice, vaseline lens and all, as she reacts: “Earth!” Heh, the view screen of this planet shows the African continent and the Arabian peninsula. “Not THE Earth,” Kirk says. “Another Earth.” The globe on the screen rotates and we see Florida and the Eastern seaboard.

Roll credits.

ONE

After recapping events so far, Kirk prepares to transport down to this alternate Earth. We’ll land in the vicinity of the distress signal, he says.

Here they come, beaming into a rough cityscape. It’s Kirk, Bones, Spock, Janice, and two red shirts. Already their clothes look incongruous. (It’s just one of the studio back lots with a couple of derelict classic cars, burnt brick building facades, and some random debris in the street. Actually, it looks like an Old West set mixed up with a Prohibition set.) Spock estimates this is the equivalent of 1960’s era Earth. The red shirts have gone in separate directions to scout the area. Heh. Evidence suggests, says Spock, the distress signal is automated. No one is around.

TWO

Red Shirt 1, phaser out, strides past a building. The door mysteriously closes after he passes. The gang stop to ponder a child’s tricycle. As Bones gently sets it back on the rubbish pile, spinning its squeaky wheel, a wild man yells and comes from a building. He attacks Bones. Intense music. Everyone, including Red Shirt 1, run to his aid. Lol, Kirk punches it.

THREE

Downed, the wild man crawls to the trike and cries. He’s got blond hair and blotchy purple (?) skin, and kinda looks like a surf dude. He wants the trike fixed, and our team is gentle and sympathetic.

What Are Little Girls Made Of

As always, Critical Notes are at the end.

ONE

Approaching a planet. On the bridge, Nurse Chapel stands next to the captain’s chair and waits. She’s worried about a man on the planet who hasn’t sent a message in five years. Spock gives Kirk (and us) a report on the surface temperature (it’s cold) and on Roger Korby, the “Pasteur of Archaeological Medicine”. Whatever that means! Uhura can get no communication contact.

And then a signal and a voice comes over comms. Haha, the camera swoops around and racks focus on the little speaker for Uhura’s console. It’s Korby. Another swoop and we go extreme closeup for Christine Chapel’s relief to hear his voice.

Dunh-dunh! Roll credits.

Captain’s log repeats what we know. Prepare for a landing party. As Kirk starts to inform Korby that Chapel is with him, Korby interrupts. Can you beam down alone? Spock rises and approaches the chair. Clearly, this is an odd request. He asks if Chapel is certain she recognizes his voice. Oh, she’s engaged to Korby! So, yes, she’s certain.

TWO

Kirk agrees, and says two will beam down. Chapel says hello, and Korby immediately recognizes her voice. They’re on their way. Oh, look! Uhura rises and gives Chapel a cheek kiss of congratulations. That was sweet. Did she ad lib that?

THREE

(There is no Three.)

Mudd’s Women

Oh, no, hahaha! I’m screwed! Lol. Well, maybe this episode won’t be as cringe as I remember. And we can reference Austin Powers and his fembots as an homage. I’m sure I’ll be fine.

ONE

Captain’s Log. The Enterprise pursues an unidentified vessel. Trying to escape, it heads into an asteroid field where its engines overload and fail. Kirk decides to use their deflector screen to protect the other ship, even though Scotty warns him against it. Stand by transporter. Enterprise risks overloading its own engines.

Roll credits.

TWO

Power surge and the bridge goes dark for a second. One of our lithium crystals, Sulu says. Scotty can’t lock on to beam the other crew aboard. Zap — another dark surge. Uhura says, “We’re getting a distress signal.” In the transporter room Scotty, Bones, and Spock energize and watch.

Oh. Dear. Lord. Rakish hat, wide belt, puffy shirt, single earring, and van dyke moustache. Here he comes, transporting in. Cartoon music and a doubletake reaction from the crew. Oh, help. He even speaks with that terrible fake pirate Irish. In no rush, he’s affable while Spock and Scotty want to get on with it.

On the bridge, another lithium circuit zaps out. How many have transported aboard, Scotty? One, but we’ve locked onto three more. The transporter pads blink and surge. Meanwhile, on the bridge we see the vessel explode. Did you get the crew, Scotty?

Pause, and then they materialize. The woman on the left wears a bosom-enhancing dress, the one in the middle pivots away so we can get a booty view, and the one on the right wears only a poncho, legs bare, with gladiator sandals. They each give a little grind-wiggle while Fake Pirate watches the men. Easy there, Bones, lol. Ew, close-up of Miss Booty squinching her eyes at them. The framing does suggest that we should be suspicious, so there’s that.

The Enemy Within

ONE

The Enterprise in orbit. On the planet the landing party includes Kirk and Sulu, who holds a little dog in an orange costume with a unicorn horn. Yes!!

They remark that it’s already getting cold and the nighttime temperature will be brutal. And then Kirk reaches over and pets the dog’s scaly tail. Yes! Just another actor on set for Shatner to improv with.

Someone cries out. Kirk and Sulu (still carrying the pooch) go see what happened. A crewman slipped off a ledge and cut his hand. It’s bad enough to go back to the ship. A lot of suspicious-looking yellow dust came down the embankment with him.

Orbit-wipe to Scotty in the transporter room. As the crewman materializes, a warning light blinks on the console, and Scotty re-energizes. Fisher makes it. However, Scotty doesn’t like the dust on his uniform. Decontaminate that.

After the crewman leaves Scotty returns to the console to doublecheck the instruments. Kirk radios that he’s ready to beam up. Just one moment, Captain.

I know which episode this is! Yes!! Oh, it’s excellent. The dog was the clue but I couldn’t quite put it together until now.

The Naked Time

ONE

Captain’s log as the Enterprise orbits an icy, dying planet. They are to retrieve the science party below and observe the planet’s collapse. However, on the station the people are inexplicably frozen at their consoles.

Beaming in are Spock and another crewman wearing . . . haha! It looks like my grandma’s plastic couch cover. I’m totally distracted from what’s happening by this costume, including the tubular head piece with the clear plastic face plate. Masterful.

However, people are dead, including the guy taking a shower while fully clothed, so let’s pay attention.

TWO

Rut-roh. The unnamed crewman takes off his glove and reaches under his hood to scratch his nose. There sits his abandoned glove while he continues to investigate the console, his bare hand coming close to a mysterious substance. Aargh! The stain ejects a drop that travels to the idiot’s hand. WHAT?!! He shakes the hand and touches his face with it! And then he puts his glove back on. Haha, and of course Spock returns and says, “Make sure we expose ourselves to nothing.”

Roll credits.

Bridge business as the Captain’s log recaps what we know so far.

THREE

Scotty beams up the away team. At Spock’s insistence he and doofus go through a decontamination sequence. Kirk wants them also to go to medical for a check-up. Bones In, on the case, as our Three.