MR. POTTER, FIVE

He’s the villain. He’s stingy, cross, and infirm. He’s ambitious. Without George he practically turns Bedford Falls into Vegas. He certainly fits a lot of tropes: greedy capitalist villain, angry physically-challenged villain, crotchety old man villain. If he had a mustache, he’d twirl it.

Underneath all of that stereotyping, do we have an Enneagram? When he realizes that Uncle Billy has left the bank deposit in the newspaper, does he have a brief moment, a flash, of sympathy? (Well, no. He takes an evil glee in knowing a secret.) When he and George are the only two to keep their heads during the bank run, he admires George as more than a competitor. And when he offers George a job, tempting him to sell the Savings and Loan for an easier life, isn’t he almost successful because he knows what pains George the most? Either he’s just the Devil, or he’s a man who has watched George over the years. Does he have — gasp — fatherly feelings toward George?

Let’s make some guesses. Potter physically declines with age, which in the most general and anecdotal way possible suggests a Head Type.

Five, Six, or Seven? Not a Six. He doesn’t seem to have a moral code, a black-and-white view of the world. He’s bad because he’s stingy and cheap, not because some great wrong offends him.

He’s a Five. A Five’s besetting sin is stinginess. They’re just knee-jerk that way. They’re also uncanny in their observation of others. Potter’s understanding of George, of what drives him and of what he fears, fits this. And the Bedford Falls he creates without George is just a mash-up of others’ vices. A Five would become overwhelmed with a bunch of competing desires and step away, letting everyone do as they want. As long as order was maintained a Five would turn hermit and escape.

Also, a Five’s social clumsiness can turn them into a curmudgeon. They want to be liked but other people are so baffling! Potter is a Five pushed to all the extremes.

UNCLE BILLY, TWO

He’s forgetful. When Mr. Bailey dies no one suggests that Uncle Billy could run the Savings and Loan. He’s a beautiful, loyal heart, but a manager he is not.

Uncle Billy loses the deposit — forgets it — because he wants a piece of Mr. Potter. He just has to tell him off, which causes him to leave the money behind, momentarily forgotten. Is this a trait that helps identify his Enneagram? Anyone would want a righteous poke at Potter. Not everyone would let their emotion out until the deposit was secured, though.

And when George yells at him . . . oh, doesn’t it break your heart? It’s because Uncle Billy, in a small way, deserves it. He’s a grown man who can’t be trusted with a grown-up’s responsibility. However, it’s possible that Billy is mentally challenged. No one spells it out, but that’s how he’s played. Without George, in the angel’s version, Billy is committed to a mental institution. No one’s asked him to step up, no one’s depended on his support. On his own he can’t cope.

I’m tempted to say that Uncle Billy has no Enneagram. He has the strings on his fingers, and all else could be attributed to challenge rather than personality. Is he a Head Type? A Body Type? Probably not. As a Heart Type is he a befuddled Two? His sweet enthusiasm, and his love for George, are priceless. 

Actually, that’s the clue that he’s a Two, albeit a challenged Two. Sevens, which is George, tend to collect Twos as precious sidekicks. (Notice that Clarence is also a Two.) Without George, Billy has no purpose or direction.

MARY HATCH, NULL

She’s determined. She wants George and she pursues any opening he gives her. She’s organized. Very. Ridiculously so. She leads the local USO while refinishing an old house and raising her children.

All of the community facets –such as parties for Savings and Loan customers — are a joy to her. When George needs help she calls so many people, local and further away, because she’s established those social connections over the years. Everyone loves Mary.

What Enneagram is she? Her effortless ability to juggle so much suggests a Three. Her belovedness suggests a Two. Her organizational skills could also suggest a One.

Is Mary more of a perfect-wife archetype than an actual character? Does she have any flaws? The honeymoon dinner with the chicken rotisserie that uses the turntable is wonderful, but possibly too clever.

Is Mary so Not Me that I have trouble accepting her as believable? Haha, maybe. This is George’s story, though, through and through. He arcs, he faces a true crisis. Mary is a set piece. All of George’s woes belong solely to him because what man could complain about this wife? She’s designed to be perfect.

Hmph. I’m disappointed.

I’m also relieved, because she’s a high bar to face every Christmas season. If she’s not an actual character I don’t need to measure myself against her. Whew.

CLARENCE, TWO

He’s an angel. He’s an inept angel. In the hierarchy of heavenly beings, he’s on the bottom rung.

The more I think about Clarence, the more he bugs me. He’s so twee! As a trope subverter — dufus angel — he feels very contrived. Of course this bumbling fool will find a way to save George’s soul. No competent angel could figure out how to show George the purpose of his life? All the wise angels were busy? And heaven is ordered like a first-grade classroom, with wings passed out like gold stars for getting the math quiz correct?

Whew, I had no idea poor Clarence pushed my outrage button like this!

He connects with George on an emotional and sympathetic level. Heart Type. Not a Three, obviously. (A Three on the bottom rung of the angel ladder? Puh-leaze.) He’s too gentle with George to be a Four.

Two. He has that oddball quality. Heaven is happy to have him, they just can’t figure out what to do with him yet. To devise a plan that shows such heartbreak to not only the family but the entire town, is not something a Head or Body would’ve thought up. Not in this way. The social fabric of Bedford Falls is ruined by George’s absence. That’s very Heart.

GEORGE BAILEY, SEVEN

When I was younger I couldn’t stand to watch George beaten down by life and denied his dreams. Duty keeps him from adventure. Self-sacrifice locks him at home while his brother pursues the world. From a certain perspective this is a very painful story.

What kind of a man takes a job he hates in order to fulfill his father’s promises, marries a woman he loves although she prefers a lifestyle that repulses him, and turns to thoughts of suicide when life wearies him, as all life does?

I’m immediately distracted by tall, lanky Jimmy Stewart, who fits a specific body build. Is George a Four or a Five? I doubt it. He’s not funny enough or contemplative enough for either.

Is George a Seven? Someone who dreams big is more heartbreaking than a practical man. A One, a Three — these heroes would bring a completely different, more encouraging story. Not a Six; a Six expects to be disappointed by life. Not a Two; George sees his house as a millstone rather than a quirky mansion.

Seven, Eight, or Nine? He does save his brother’s life on the ice. Any of these numbers could accomplish this. In every other way he shows no aptitude for physical activity, so I’ll say he’s not a Body Type.

Seven it is. What other number could wish for something more, be the kind of person who could achieve steamer-trunk adventures, and yet honors his commitments? His heroism is quiet, the kind that real men can attain, but it makes for depressing storytelling.