Category: MCU, extended

PHIL COULSON, TWO

Clark Gregg parlayed a bureaucratic bit part in the Marvel Universe into a complex, beloved leader with his own agency. Coulson’s appeal lies in his light-hearted approach. He’s no fool — crises are serious business — but his glass-half-full view of problems and people is just so wonderful to spend time with. His irony and belief in the cause are a charming mix.

Well, after all that I go to Three. What other number can overcome a minion role to become the star of the show, lol?

He’s not a Body Type. Surrounding him are super-powered individuals, and he always engages on a social level. He’s a curious person, but he doesn’t wield a Head Type view of the world. 

He’s very Heart. Alright, though, what about a Two? His car Lola is just one of a number of mementos he keeps. His office is cluttered with antiques. Although we don’t get a tour of all his memorabilia, it’s always in the background of his desk scenes. I could even say that his job, to organize and assemble Inhumans, is a kind of collection.

What makes him so lovable is that the world overwhelms him at times. He’s not a Nick Fury, who micromanages everything. Those wide-eyed moments when Coulson is wracked with feeling — whether it’s anguish or joy — are what point to a Two. Under all the SHIELD paraphernalia, he’s a kind soul trying to make the world a gentler place.

CAPTAIN MARVEL/CAROL DANVERS, EIGHT

Her movie jumps around in time and her relationship to her superpower changes. All of these unknowns and variables make it hard to pinpoint her Enneagram. Let’s look at what we know at the beginning of her timeline.

She’s a pilot, a test pilot. Daring, physical, brave. She’s a beloved friend. She’s your basic Eight: outspoken, competent, and naturally heroic. Because Hollywood’s default position for most women superheroes is Eight, Carol is an easy call.

Reviews of the Captain Marvel movie and the Carol character are mixed. I recently watched it and can barely remember what happened. I’m going to say that’s because she’s an Eight. Nothing stands out, nothing distinguishes her. It’s too trope. She’s a cardboard cutout of a superhero whose powers are so hypercharged nothing poses a challenge against her. It’s hard to write plot conflict for a character like this, which is why she comes in as a deus ex machina in Endgame. Perhaps future iterations of her will develop into something more.

BLACK WIDOW, ONE

Poor Natasha. Even in her own movie she’s basically a sidekick. The closest we get to specific character traits is in Endgame when she tries to keep the team and the world post-Blip together. Her willingness to run a radio base and contact station in the midst of chaos is one of her most interesting moments.

Otherwise, Natasha is a competent assassin with a monstrous origin story. All credit to Johansson for giving humor and stoicism to a one-dimensional character.

So who is this Black Widow? All of the girls in the program are trained physically. Can she claim a Body Type, or is every Widow forced into excellence? Let’s say no, and see where that takes us. She longs for community, yet keeps herself apart as someone undeserving of friendship and intimacy. Child Natasha is written as an Eight, the way she fights for her sister against soldiers and authority. It never felt right, though, because adult Natasha isn’t an Eight. Wait, is she a One?

Ah, of course. Her wit, her fast-paced fighting style, and her moral code (“there’s red in my ledger”) all point to One. This is why her movie isn’t good. The showrunners went dark. With a One, the tone needs to go light. A One’s quickness, their cleverness and problem-solving optimism, would shine more in an Antman-style format. Natasha’s so focused I can see why they went in the direction they did, but it was a mistake. The beauty of a One is the surprise: they’re physically dedicated and morally serious, yet they’ll come up with the sharpest jokes and insights. Natasha is given these gifts in movies like Winter Soldier, yet they forgot about them during her own project. Oh, man, that’s sad.

HAWKEYE, NULL

The first time we meet him in the MCU he’s co-opted by Loki and brain-manipulated into a villainous henchman. Bad choice! He becomes likable in later movies, but he’ll always have the taint, our memory, of the evil version of him.

(Why do so many movies remove a character’s free will? I hate that kind of lazy writing, but that’s another topic, lol.)

Later we learn that Clint has a family. He ends up as the most normal superhero in the series. When we finally spend time with him in his own show we see he’s dogged, dutiful, and honorable. His family disappeared in the Blip and he lost it, turning rogue. He’s really just a dedicated dad and husband who can shoot arrows.

Actually, I think he’s written all over the place. Early on, he’s not a character at all, just a plot point. He’s the Avenger with no back story. Even his eponymous series is more about the young woman who will team with him than it is about him. I want to call him a Null, a character the writers didn’t develop with enough consistency to fit into an Enneagram identity. Does he pull it out at the end in Hawkeye? He has the trooper qualities of a Six, although he’s much too physically fearless for that. He has the recklessness of a Nine in trouble.

No. I refuse to examine a character who’s been in multiple properties yet only begins to develop at the end. He’s important enough to deserve a fully-fleshed personality, and I find it disrespectful to the character that they did not give him that. A Hawkeye written with integrity helps the showrunners craft a better story and gives Renner more foundation for a better performance. Someone this haphazard is a Null.

JESSICA JONES, EIGHT

Right off the bat I can’t say what Enneagram number would fit Marvel’s Jessica. Do we count her physical strength? Does a superhero gift relate in any way to the personality typing?

Jessica is a drunk. The horrors she’s seen lead her to want to escape reality. Of course, anyone can fall prey to alcoholism. Does this suggest a number?

She doesn’t quit. Fear, danger, nothing diverts her. She’s very dogged.

She’s not an emotion person. She has no heart and no envy. Scratch Two, Three, or Four. She is a detective, but she doesn’t seem to enjoy the puzzle of a case. She’s there for justice, and for beating people up and taking names. Body Type over Head. We’re looking at an Eight, Nine, or One. Hey, that means her superhero strength is indeed critical.

Her tendency to lead first with anger suggests an Eight. She really does walk around with a chip on her shoulder.

Although I must say, if we discover that every rockin’ superhero woman is an Eight, I’ll be pretty disappointed. The rest of us are tough, too, dangit!