Category: Character Stories

ALIEN COMPANIONS, NULL

Like the Wizard of Oz companions, the characters in the first Alien movie are more archetypes than individuals with Enneagrams. 

Dallas is the Diplomat, Lambert is the Nervous One, Brett is the Working Man, Parker is the Tough One, and Kane is the Sacrifice. Ripley, the Survivor, only becomes something more because James Cameron writes her into a sequel. He brilliantly takes her archetype and fleshes it into a true character.

This kind of storytelling — driven by atmosphere and feelings, plot and reveal — appeals to some people. Other people prefer that a protagonist’s arc provide the backbone. However, if you like the movie with archetypes, this one is a great one. The setting, the mise en scène, has become part of our cultural language.

Except for Ash, whom I will talk about in another post, this lovely film mostly bypasses the Enneagram personalities.

ELLEN RIPLEY, SIX

She’s one of the greatest heroines ever put on film. Strong and vulnerable, active and contemplative, she’s encompasses everything we’d all want to be if thrown in the same situation. So, what’s Ripley’s Enneagram number?

Just the first two movies, though. Her character is consistent within that parameter.

She’s a BIG rule follower. If the Nostromo had listened to her about quarantine the movies wouldn’t even exist. She’s very frustrated with The Company for looking the other way about the xenomorph in order to pursue profit. Justice. Ripley wants it.

She doesn’t particularly strike me as a Body Type. Hicks trains her in the pulse rifle, and she learns well, but physical battle is not her go-to intuition. I’m going to say no to the Heart Type, too. Ripley cares deeply about people, but emotion is not a moving force for her. She’s fairly disengaged.

Head Type.

Sigourney Weaver is a specific build — tall, slender. None of these traits match a Woman Head Type, so it’s difficult to pinpoint which Ripley is. Five, Six, or Seven? All of these are average height or shorter in real life.

Ah. Six. I want to say Six because of the justice trait, but it’s actually the fear trait that gives the clue. Anyone could and would be afraid to return to xenomorph country, but for a delicious plot and character arc a writer needs to make their heroine confront the thing she least wants to do. A Six, of all the Head Types, will be impacted by fear and worry. Getting Ripley back into space is one of the great plot turns. It’s what makes her arc so wonderful, and what gives Weaver so much to play.

It’s also a bit of an anti-action hero Enneagram choice. Good stuff.

FRANK COSTANZA, EIGHT

Because Jerry Stiller, the actor who gave George’s dad his vivacity, recently passed, I wanted to include his character in the Seinfeld Enneagram study.

I immediately jump to Eight. That loud, instant reaction he does!

And, like most of us, the mansierre burns in my brain when I think of Frank. It just seems like only a Man Eight would have the barrel chest that needs restraining. Gosh, it makes me laugh. And Festivus! Who but an Eight would want feats of strength and the airing of grievances? It really is perfectly, succinctly funny.

As with the other characters, this one’s number is pushed to the extreme. Real life Eights will not engage so brutally and vociferously with others. That’s what makes the humor. He’s a pleasure to watch. Also, a little bit of a wince. Genius.

ELAINE BENES, FOUR

Another envy type in the Seinfeld pantheon. Except for Jerry, they’re all Heart Types! Very interesting.

If that’s so, is Elaine’s Enneagram number a Two, Three, or Four?

Not a Three. Heh. Definitely not. She’s a train wreck. No Three would be so incompetent, so constantly humiliated by life.

Not a Two. She’s not charitable enough. Again, it’s quite funny. Like George, she’s locked into a bit of a “worst trait” syndrome in service to the humor.

So, a Four. She does feel the highs and lows. She does have a moderately successful career, but not overwhelmingly so. Her relationship with Jerry is solidly now in the friend zone but it didn’t start that way. It’s interesting and ironic that a Nine (Jerry) seeking a companion would start with the female Four and end up at the male Four (George). It’s very Nine-ish for Jerry to choose the Four with the lesser impact on his own feelings and expression.

The actors have done a good job at differentiating the dueling Fours in the show, but sometimes Elaine feels like a duplicate. Socially, she operates at a much higher level than George. She’s functional. Still, though, like George she’s challenged by romance, work, and socially appropriate behavior. My favorite storyline for her is the time she worked for J. Peterman. When she wrote catalog copy for the odd items, she followed a plot that could only belong to Elaine.

GEORGE COSTANZA, FOUR

Drama, envy, lies. George swims in the worst traits of whatever his Enneagram number may be. He’s an exaggeration in service to humor, but we still should be able to pinpoint him.

Everything about him screams Heart Type. The envy, which no real life person would exhibit in such detail, defines him. So, Two, Three, or Four?

He’s no Two. He’s not nice enough, frankly. The world is an aggravation to him, not a treasure to unlock.

A Three? He’s an anti-Three, a Bizarro Three, which may, hilariously, be the point. He succeeds at nothing. He’s disliked by almost everyone. He fails so often that he lives in total bitterness. Yet, as a humorous character, he’s adored. He’s a meme king. Is it possible to create an opposite Enneagram? Fascinating.

However, a Four seems most likely. The drama. The highs and lows. George lives at the extremes. The actor works against this. He is not tall and lean, so his real life body doesn’t suggest a Man Four.

I also like George as a Four if Jerry is a Nine. A Nine loves to have a Four around to exhibit all the feelings that a Nine won’t show.

But, man, I’m tempted by that Three call.

JERRY SEINFELD, NINE

Obviously I refer to the character, who may be very similar to the real life Seinfeld, but that is not something we can definitively know. We can discover the Enneagram number of the version of Jerry presented in the TV series, though, so off we go.

He’s incredibly picky, almost phobically so. It’s part of the humor. He’s in the Felix Unger (from “The Odd Couple”) realm of personalities. Jerry’s tidiness initiates or sustains many plotlines.

Wit, clearly. Sharp, quick thinking, and a willingness to say brisk or insulting things if it’s funny.

I’m leaning toward a One so far. But is Jerry a Body Type? Not really. Running a race and winning by cheating is an episode that defines Jerry as non-athletic.

He has a very strange group of friends, particularly Kramer, and yet he is peaceful around them. Their weirdness is comforting to him, I believe. Yes, this is a structure of the humor, but it’s what we have as a tool for judging his Enneagram.

Is this Six-ish? When a Six has decided on something, like who is his friend, he is unwavering afterwards. But is Jerry a Head Type? His comedy and his interests lie more in the social realm. I would guess him to be a Heart Type.

Two, Three, or Four? Not a Two. He’s too fastidious. He’s very successful and life is fairly easy for him. Very Three-like. Although the real life Jerry is not built like a Four, fictional Jerry is very dramatic. And that wit. Tough call.

And yet, after saying all this, I keep coming back to a Nine. It’s the diplomacy angle. The juggling of strange friends, the calm that Jerry mostly carries around, the humor that digs into human foibles. Jerry really doesn’t seem like a Body Type, but something about his social life feels like a Nine. Read the Elaine and George pages for more perspective. They are in his orbit. 

They feel, they fail, in ways that he cannot. It’s the kind of symbiotic relationship in which a Nine thrives.

COSMO KRAMER, TWO

Two. Boom. That’s my first brain blast when I think of Kramer’s idiosyncratic humor. 

Is that really his Enneagram number, though?

It’s his interest in collecting that leads me to a Two. He’s constantly accumulating or rearranging or testing: the bed drawers, the movie hotline, the vegetable shower. He’s very busy and enjoying all of it.

He always has an iron in the fire. This could be Seven-like, but Kramer really doesn’t seem like a Head Type. He’s eclectic, but he’s also just wacky. Planning is not really a thing. He’s spur of the moment, and away he goes.

Also, he’s very Heart Type. His relationship with Newman always has a touch of envy to it.

He’s not a Three. Too rattled and explosive. And although he feels big emotions, he’s not a Four. He’s not self-deprecating enough, and he doesn’t really feel depression. Life is always good.

Kramer is actually a great example of a Man Two. Very charming, and just slightly overwhelming.

MARGE SIMPSON, NINE

Marge is a bit of a mystery. I’m not immediately sure of her Enneagram number.

She’s not ambitious. Her family, their safety and comfort, are enough for her.

She’s lovingly married to a very ineligible man. He definitely married up, and he would be the first to say so.

Her hair is big. I know that’s just an animator’s representation on the one hand, a defining characteristic that makes her easier to draw, but it’s also a comment about her personality. The creator saw Marge as bold, out-of-step, a bit of an iconoclast. Her hair is BIG.

She’s no-nonsense and brave when her chicks are in danger. Marge’s world seems pretty straight forward. Family, safety and comfort. Her wild-child son and her large-brained daughter are of equal worth to her.

She’s a Nine. Peace is everything. Conflict must be avoided. Public displays of outrageous behavior, or extraordinary achievement, or large blue hair are all the same. She really doesn’t care about seeking or avoiding attention, as long as life rides on an even keel. That’s the Nine Woman style. Accept, support, and love.

HOMER SIMPSON, TWO

Homer is not a thinking man. If we want to know his Enneagram number, I think we can safely rule out any of the Head Types.

And yet he has such a love of the carnal, as a Seven would. Food, sloth, fun. The gyroscope of the world holds no interest for him, though. Not a Seven.

Well, then, a Body Type. To take such pleasure in digestion, to the workings of the body, suggests an Eight or Nine. (Not a One. Heavens, no.) He doesn’t seem aggressive enough to be an Eight. Homer is content to ride along on the wave of comfort. Very Nine-ish. But, boy oh boy, is he no diplomat or community leader. Not very Nine-ish.

Not a Three or Four. He’s not fastidious enough for either number.

A Two? He actually has a good heart for his family. In his comic strip/animation way, he’s a loving father and husband. Twos also take pleasure in the community of eating and entertaining. It doesn’t come from lust or laziness. A party is how people relax with each other.

Also, a Two’s oldest child could very well be an Eight, as Bart is. It’s the strength/weakness move again.

There’s something strangely lovable about Homer. He accessible. A Two.

HOLLY GENNERO, THREE

Practical, cool-headed, a manager. Although she’s in an action movie, Holly doesn’t engage in hijinks or stunts. She’s the calm rock for her work colleagues and a steely negotiator. When Hans asks her, “Who put you in charge?” she comes right back with, “You did when you killed my boss.”

My mind immediately jumps to the Enneagram Three. Those indomitable nerves are basic for Three Women. So is the take-charge attitude that doesn’t feel pushy to her colleagues. Everyone likes her.

Even her separation from John is Three-like. Threes are so driven to accomplish, and it’s so effortless for them to do a lot, that her determination to pursue her career makes sense. She doesn’t really have a problem with John; their marriage is not in trouble because of emotional differences. They just disagree about where they’ll live and whose career will take precedence in deciding that.

She’s quite an exciting and unique character to find in an action flick. Also, which makes my OCD very happy, the casting of Bonnie Bedelia is excellent. Her build is very Three-like and her take on Holly rings true for her Enneagram number.