Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

I present to you the perfect Christmas movie. Don’t be discouraged by the black-and-white photography. It brings a pleasant sense of nostalgia, and the story will captivate you so quickly you’ll forget you’re not watching color. Let’s take a quick dive.

ONE

As credits roll the camera follows a man in a fedora who walks the streets of New York City. It’s like a charming time capsule. At a certain point I start to wonder how they managed to shoot this when steadicams didn’t yet exist. If you’ve ever pushed a camera dolly, you’ll be astounded at what they accomplished here.

Reveal that this bearded man is (probably) Santa Claus in modern clothing.

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FRANK CROSS, THREE

Well, this is a portrayal for the ages. Every miserly instinct is here, and yet our Scrooge is sympathetic, too. It’s not easy to write, direct, and act such an update to a beloved story. Scrooged has become a classic in its own right.

Should we look at younger Frank, working diligently during the office Christmas party? What about Frank in the Frisbee costume? His ambition makes him surly to Claire, and he doesn’t even recognize she’s suggesting a separation. In the present day, he sends his only brother a towel rather than the VHS. He has no life, and never had one. Remember when Christmas Past teases him about the TV shows that Frank mistakes for real life moments?

A hard worker. An Envy person, judging by his reaction to Brice Cummings, the LA sleaze trying to replace him.

We’re looking at a dark Three. He’s always known where his interests and talents lie. He’s let his personal life become small and mean, which reflects into his business life, but no one doubts his competency. This is how, at the climax, he can step into a live broadcast without timidity and dominate an improvisational finale. He’s become the light Three, loved and admired by everyone.

CLAIRE PHILLIPS, TWO

This is the Isabelle, the lost fiancee, of Scrooged, played by the blindingly appealing Karen Allen. In this version, though, Scrooge gets the girl after all.

Claire is absolutely a Heart Type. Her work at the outreach shelter is very giving, very charitable. It’s more than a job for her. These are her core beliefs.

A Two, of course.

Her beauty is part of that. Claire is portrayed as the sweetest woman on the planet. This is a role that could’ve become only a stereotype or a Null. Allen, with her trusting expression, makes Claire a Two. In the Christmas Future nightmare, Claire is cold and cruel, the opposite of her character. When Allen closes off her openness and vulnerability, Claire becomes an anti-Two. It’s a consistent performance.

GRACE COOLEY, THREE

This is the Cratchit of Scrooged. She is a loyal employee; quitting is never suggested, even though her boss treats her terribly. A widow, she is the sole breadwinner of a large family. Her Tiny Tim isn’t physically endangered, but mentally. The trauma of his father’s death has turned him mute. And she is as cheerful and optimistic in the face of all this as the original Bob.

Efficient, uncomplaining, and caring. What Enneagram is Grace?

She’s shown doing nothing physical, so let’s assume she’s not a Body Type. I think we want to go with Heart. Although she performs her duty, she’s sympathetic to the firing of Eliot Loudermilk. She also ribs Cross a bit about his Christmas present list, towel vs. VCR. Her comfort with social skills suggests a Two, Three, or Four.

What about a Three? She’s liked by everyone, even her scrooge-y boss. She’s competent at work and manages a complicated family situation well. She’s indomitable, straightforward, and unintimidated. Yes.

Mickey’s Christmas Carol

When I wrote my own version of Dickens’ classic I also had this charming short film in mind. Believe it or not, it’s one of the better adaptations in terms of being true to the original while bringing a unique flavor.

ONE

Credits roll over sepia drawings. A page of Victorian London transitions into a moving shot that finds Scrooge walking along a snow-covered street. The Big Bad Wolf in a Santa suit rings a bell while the Three Little Pigs sing a carol. (Recognizing Disney characters is part of the fun.)

Scrooge (McDuck, of course) gives a “Bah!” when asked to donate to the poor. He arrives outside his Counting House and acknowledges that Marley is dead. He also establishes his miserliness (albeit, a cartoon take on it). 

TWO

Entering, he catches Mickey Cratchit trying to place one coal into the cold stove. Denied the chance to heat the room, Mickey asks for a half day tomorrow as it’s Christmas.

(The film is so good at showing all the meanness while making it light for children. Scrooge is horrible and Cratchit is pitiable, as they should be, yet this version gets us to laugh, too.)

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So This Is Christmas?

Well, rats. The Hawkeye finale is not up to the standards of the last few episodes. It’s fairly generic, with obligatory fight sequences and stilted humor. 

Ah, I just noticed. The episodes I liked were directed by Bert and Bertie. The ones I didn’t were directed by someone else. Fascinating. Let’s jump in.

ONE

Stepping into frame is a cane and a large body in a suit. It’s Kingpin. This is his meeting with Eleanor that was teased at the end of last episode. We get a little backstory: her husband owed a small fortune to Kingpin when he died. Eleanor, working with him all these years, has repaid the debt ten times over. Now that Kate is getting close to the secret, Eleanor wants out. Kingpin is not happy.

TWO

The video of this scene plays on Kate’s phone. We’re back with her and Clint at the kitchen table. Kate freaks — I need to talk to her — and Clint says, Your mom needs our help. When Kate tries to send him home, Clint declares that they’re partners. “Your mess is my mess.”

THREE

We’re back at Kingpin’s lair, or whatever. (It’s a small room surrounded by colored hanging beads. No idea why.) Maya arrives to apologize, declare her loyalty, and ask for time off. Kazi, who’s already there, translates for her. Slowly and deliberately, Kingpin signs to her, I love you. She signs it back. After she leaves, Kingpin says to Kazi, “Maya, my Maya, has turned on us.”

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