Santa Baby
Category: Holiday Themes
FRANK CROSS, THREE
Well, this is a portrayal for the ages. Every miserly instinct is here, and yet our Scrooge is sympathetic, too. It’s not easy to write, direct, and act such an update to a beloved story. Scrooged has become a classic in its own right.
Should we look at younger Frank, working diligently during the office Christmas party? What about Frank in the Frisbee costume? His ambition makes him surly to Claire, and he doesn’t even recognize she’s suggesting a separation. In the present day, he sends his only brother a towel rather than the VHS. He has no life, and never had one. Remember when Christmas Past teases him about the TV shows that Frank mistakes for real life moments?
A hard worker. An Envy person, judging by his reaction to Brice Cummings, the LA sleaze trying to replace him.
We’re looking at a dark Three. He’s always known where his interests and talents lie. He’s let his personal life become small and mean, which reflects into his business life, but no one doubts his competency. This is how, at the climax, he can step into a live broadcast without timidity and dominate an improvisational finale. He’s become the light Three, loved and admired by everyone.
CLAIRE PHILLIPS, TWO
This is the Isabelle, the lost fiancee, of Scrooged, played by the blindingly appealing Karen Allen. In this version, though, Scrooge gets the girl after all.
Claire is absolutely a Heart Type. Her work at the outreach shelter is very giving, very charitable. It’s more than a job for her. These are her core beliefs.
A Two, of course.
Her beauty is part of that. Claire is portrayed as the sweetest woman on the planet. This is a role that could’ve become only a stereotype or a Null. Allen, with her trusting expression, makes Claire a Two. In the Christmas Future nightmare, Claire is cold and cruel, the opposite of her character. When Allen closes off her openness and vulnerability, Claire becomes an anti-Two. It’s a consistent performance.
GRACE COOLEY, THREE
This is the Cratchit of Scrooged. She is a loyal employee; quitting is never suggested, even though her boss treats her terribly. A widow, she is the sole breadwinner of a large family. Her Tiny Tim isn’t physically endangered, but mentally. The trauma of his father’s death has turned him mute. And she is as cheerful and optimistic in the face of all this as the original Bob.
Efficient, uncomplaining, and caring. What Enneagram is Grace?
She’s shown doing nothing physical, so let’s assume she’s not a Body Type. I think we want to go with Heart. Although she performs her duty, she’s sympathetic to the firing of Eliot Loudermilk. She also ribs Cross a bit about his Christmas present list, towel vs. VCR. Her comfort with social skills suggests a Two, Three, or Four.
What about a Three? She’s liked by everyone, even her scrooge-y boss. She’s competent at work and manages a complicated family situation well. She’s indomitable, straightforward, and unintimidated. Yes.
Mickey’s Christmas Carol
When I wrote my own version of Dickens’ classic I also had this charming short film in mind. Believe it or not, it’s one of the better adaptations in terms of being true to the original while bringing a unique flavor.
ONE
Credits roll over sepia drawings. A page of Victorian London transitions into a moving shot that finds Scrooge walking along a snow-covered street. The Big Bad Wolf in a Santa suit rings a bell while the Three Little Pigs sing a carol. (Recognizing Disney characters is part of the fun.)
Scrooge (McDuck, of course) gives a “Bah!” when asked to donate to the poor. He arrives outside his Counting House and acknowledges that Marley is dead. He also establishes his miserliness (albeit, a cartoon take on it).
TWO
Entering, he catches Mickey Cratchit trying to place one coal into the cold stove. Denied the chance to heat the room, Mickey asks for a half day tomorrow as it’s Christmas.
(The film is so good at showing all the meanness while making it light for children. Scrooge is horrible and Cratchit is pitiable, as they should be, yet this version gets us to laugh, too.)
Continue reading “Mickey’s Christmas Carol”Werewolf By Night
Technically, this stand-alone episode is part of the extended MCU. It’s absolutely charming as a Halloween tidbit, though, and may become one of my routine annual watches. Let’s see if it stands up to a fisk. But, please! Watch it first so my spoilers don’t ruin the enjoyment.
ONE
Begin the Marvel credit introduction, and then, with a screech and a slash mark, change it from color to black-and-white. Put the theme song in a minor key. Roll credits in the style of an original monster movie from the 1930s.
Voiceover narration introduces the darker side of the Marvel heroes, the monsters that operate beneath the surface and their hunters. Introduce the Bloodstone family. The patriarch wields a supernatural relic, the bloodstone. (Wait, is the family named after the necklace, or vice versa, lol?)
TWO
Continue with illustrative sketches while the narrator informs us that Ulysses Bloodstone has died. The position of head of the family and the ownership of the relic are now up for grabs. Switch to live action as the narrator announces that tonight is his funeral. (And continue with B&W, throughout.)
Establish a wooded landscape with a many-windowed domed building situated in the middle. The narrator sets the Rules of the Magic: Global hunters, strangers, meet for a ceremonial hunt that will decide who next wields the bloodstone.
Reveal our main character, panning up from his feet, as the narrator proclaims, “Woe to the monster who finds itself” among the hunters. He’s a man in a suit, regular except for dark eye circles and a strange chalk-like face tattoo. (It will take a long time before we’re told his name, but I can’t just keep calling him “our hero”. He’s Jack.)
Continue reading “Werewolf By Night”NELLIE LOVETT (1982), TWO
Will the real villain of Sweeney Todd please stand up, lol! He kills because he seeks revenge. What’s Mrs. Lovett’s excuse?
Angela Lansbury, with her expressive, heavily-lined eyes and her childish honeybun hairdo, fools us beautifully. Her humor, her game attitude, and her love for Sweeney distract us from how easily she participates in murdering and baking her customers. She’s such a great character, portrayed with so much exuberance.
So, what number can engage us so thoroughly that we look away from her moral chaos? I immediately go to Heart Type. Her gentleness with Toby, even though she expects Sweeney to kill him, comes naturally. She can’t help herself. Also, she obviously envies Sweeney’s wife and the love he still holds for her.
She’s no Three. The other pie shop woman who’s “popping pussies into pies” is more successful than her, lol. Two or Four? She’s even-keeled. She’s happy before she meets Sweeney, and happy afterward. Two, at least how Lansbury plays her. Depression doesn’t ever settle on her. This does make me curious, however, to see how other actors have portrayed Mrs. Lovett. Perhaps for next Halloween.
SWEENEY TODD (1982), SIX
He’s bloodthirsty and ruthless, but his desire for vengeance dominates any other characteristic. Judge Turpin and The Beadle must pay for the scheme they perpetrated: stealing his wife and falsely sending him off to prison. All the other deaths are incidental, people who cross his path while he waits for his two foes to come for a shave. He’s singularly focused, to the point where he can take human life without blinking, but once his mission is complete, he’s done. He’s not a good man, but his need for justice helps us tolerate his story.
He’s an excellent barber, lol. Does that say anything about his Enneagram? We see his meticulous preparation, sharpening the razor and smoothing the lather, and then — whisk! — the close shave is done. It’s very similar to his killing spree. This is someone who likes order.
A Six? (He’s too morose to be a One.) I could consider him a Two. A gentle soul when mistreated so badly could turn to darkness. However, he takes no pleasure in his razors as objects. “At last, my arm is complete again.” They’re not a Two’s collection; the shaving tools are part of his body, part of his identity.
The ability to justify evil actions is Six-ish. Once black has been determined to be white by a Six, they can move forward with a clear conscience. When his enemies are dead, Sweeney could, in theory, revert to a normal life. The story, however, delivers its own justice. Sweeney’s moral decisions lead him to kill someone precious to him, and, after one last act of vengeance, he ends up broken by it. It falls outside of his black-and-white universe, and he can’t resolve what he’s done. When he’s killed at the end of the play, everybody’s code is satisfied, even Sweeney’s.
SEAN THORNTON, NINE
A professional boxer retired due to tragedy, Sean seeks retreat and peace. He’s an easy Nine.
The Quiet Man’s story is simple: Irish-American comes to the Old Country to settle and make a new life in his ancestral home. When he sees a lass tending sheep, he falls for her, makes “pattyfingers in the holy water” with her, and arranges to court her. Her belligerent brother keeps them apart over spite about the property, until he consents and later regrets it, holding his sister’s dowry after the marriage. Sean must eventually demand the money and make peace with his brother-in-law, which leads to a town-consuming brawl between the two of them. In the end they live happily ever after.
We hit a wall, though, when we get to the scene of him dragging his wife by the nape of her neck. Is something about this moment particularly Nine-ish? His avoidance of conflict — taking the brother’s verbal ridicule, watching his volatile wife demand her things about her — might lead to a man who’s had enough and overreacts as a result. If he’s driven to take action, though, just give him a different action to take. The key to this whole movie is the moment when Sean pursues his wife to the train station and returns with her to town.
Continue reading “SEAN THORNTON, NINE”MARY KATE DANAHER, FOUR
The Quiet Man still has a lot to love. The couple riding in the matchmaker’s cart and escaping into the Irish countryside is charming. When she shelters against his wet, white shirt, it’s one of the more romantic moments ever put on film. The beautiful horse race on the beach, the Playfairs jovially riding their two-person bicycle through town, Father Lonergan battling with his fishing — all wonderful to watch. I can (and do) quote Michaleen Flynn all day.
However, Mary Kate dragged by her husband through the fields nullifies everything else. I can’t say how that scene played in 1952, but today it’s offensive.
When we strip away the baggage, this love story is simple. She’s a Four and he’s a Nine, a classic combination. She’s passionate and quick-tempered, having all the feelings for the both of them. He’s laid back, able to disengage from much that riles her. Perhaps as a Four, an open book to all of the village, one more degrading moment doesn’t shame her? Perhaps his display of feelings, no matter how ugly, reassures her of his love?
Nope, it’s all the language of abuse. It’s an unnecessary scene — the intent is quite clear without pulling a woman through sheep dung — that could be reworked, making a movie that is watchable today. I hate to see classic filmmaking consigned to the dustbin. John Ford made his choices, though, and today’s audience will judge accordingly.